Homeschooling during difficult time - loss, caregiving,

Art, Foreign Language, Music, Nature Walks, as well as general ideas and encouragement
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Joined: Mon Oct 09, 2006 10:24 pm

Homeschooling during difficult time - loss, caregiving,

Unread post by momakhomeschool »

Missing Dad
LSH in MS wrote:I hesitate to even post because I have written so many posts encouraging others, but I am discouraged about homeschooling right now. I am not covering RTR like I want to with my oldest 2 or even what I did last year in CTG. I know why. I am teaching 2 to read this year and have a 7-mo. baby, I knew it would be hard, but now I am feeling how hard it is. By the time I get the basics covered with everyone (and we don't do a lot, just a little each day consistently) I'm tired and ready to stop. We are getting behind in History and Science. We only listen to the music in the car occasionally, haven't even opened GATHOA or Rosetta stone spanish.

I feel like a failure in housekeeping etc, but up until this year I felt I was really successful in teaching them. This year I don't even feel that.

I have thought about just taking a break by doing the basics and Christmas read alouds, but if I do that we won't finish RTR until next July or August. I'd rather slow it down though and cover it well than be stressed trying to meet a deadline. My kids are on the young side anyway because Adventures wasn't written when we needed it.

Anyway, It's hard not to feel successful in anything. And then to top it off, I was missing my dad who died last Dec 7th from cancer. He always loved Christmas and they were playing one of his favorite Christmas songs in the mall and I just cried. I'm crying now as I write this, but it helps to type it out. I have confidence that the Lord will get me through this He always has. It's just that this has been the hardest school year ever (did I mention that we moved too, ?) The only year that was harder was when I had 4 children under 5

Thanks for listening.
I just read your post and wanted you to know that my heart goes out to you. I prayed for you as soon as I finished reading. I will keep you in my prayers. I don't really "know" anyone on this board but that does not matter. I can still pray for you in your time of need. Keep your faith, because you are correct in the fact that God will work it all out.
Posts: 473
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 2:40 pm

Re: Missing Dad

Unread post by kellybell »

Oh Lori,

You really HAVE posted a lot of sincere, encouraging emails. You have many of us praying for you right now.

You have a lot on your plate with little kids and the memory of your dad (and Christmas will be bittersweet this year, no doubt). The 12th anniversary of my dad's death was a week ago today and it was a gloomy day for me. That's a normal by product of love.

Just do "easy school" for a bit. Watch a few educational (or not!) videos. Listen to Christmas carols and discuss what they mean to you (or what they meant to your dad -- it's fine for your kids to see you remember him!). Go get some nice Christmas books and enjoy them with a mug of cocoa. Build a snowman or go sledding. Make ornaments and share them with shut-ins. Make bread or cookies for the neighbors, help decorate the church, etc. Have a pajama day.Break out the Scrabble board or the chess set (or Candyland?).

Take the month off of RTR and that's fine... What's the worst that can happen? You finish in the fall instead of in the spring and it throws off "your plan."

As for Rosetta Stone and GATHOA, it's okay to not do them right now. You can do them later.

Just love your kids and enjoy them. If all you do is read a few verses of the Bible each day and pray with your children and give them a good hug, then you have surpassed everything a public school could do.

Please remember that God knows what you are going through and that things are difficult and sometimes heart-breaking right now. Slow down and let GOd (and your family) love you. God will not be disappointed with you if RTR takes longer than a calendar year (I think our RTR will too, and we are not facing the challenges you are facing).

Cast your burdens on Jesus, for he cares for you!

Take care sis!
Kelly, wife to Jim since 1988, mom to Jamie (a girl, 1994), Mary (1996), Brian (1998) and Stephanie (2001).
Shelly Best
Posts: 25
Joined: Sat Jul 03, 2004 11:42 pm

Re: Missing Dad

Unread post by Shelly Best »


))))BIG HUG((((

You are not alone. We all go through the tail spins of life where we feel like a dog chasing its tail. It's in those times we do need to close the books, except Gods word, and rely on life experiences to grow us ito the tall tree planted by the rivers of water (Ps. 1)

Our children learn as much on life around us as they do from the text books. Should you continue homeschooling for many years to come, you will cycle back around to RTR. Education is much like growing in Gods word. If we read the Bible through every year, each time we read it through we notice something new. It is part of our growth process.

Rest assured, it is the stress that does more harm than skipping a month of education in history. I'll be praying for you....peace be with you God speed!
Shelly of CA
wife to Mike;
mother of Hannah(13), Michael(12), Thomas(9)
MFW since 2000
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 4:29 pm

((((Lori)))), you are NOT a failure.

Unread post by 2lilreds »

First things first. ((((Lori)))), you are missing your dad so much, and I wish I could be there to give you a hug in person, and maybe some cookies and something involving chocolate and a nap. The holidays are so hard when someone you love is gone, especially so recently. I am so, so sorry.

Please, please cut yourself a little slack. Having a new baby is hard work. I can tell you that and I only have two! I remember trying to the most uncomfortable position I could to pray in to keep myself awake (I was in a Bible study and we were practicing spiritual disciplines) - which turned out to be on my knees and then laying forward on my face - and I fell asleep anyway. I tried to put my kids to bed for nap once, fell asleep with them, and slept through them jumping on the bed - although that did eventually wake me up. You have FOUR OTHER CHILDREN. You are working really hard before school is even thrown into the mix.

Does it matter that much if you don't finish until July or August?

I can remember doing a time study once after my second was born, and I cried because I was watching TV for 40 hours per week. Then I realized I was breastfeeding and had the TV on for me, but also for my other daughter who was 1. Having a new baby all by himself is a full time job, sweetie.

Try very hard not to worry so much about it. The thing about homeschooling is, life plays a big factor in there too. You can't just send everyone off to school so it's just you and the baby, with at least a prayer of napping when the baby sleeps. :-) You are doing the best you can. Take December off with basics and read-alouds, or just read-alouds, or just Christmas videos! (My particular favorite is The Year Without A Santa Claus. I know it has nothing to do with Jesus. I just like the Heat Mise/Cold Miser songs.) Get as much rest as you can. I hope your older dc are taking naps or just having quiet time so you can take a little break in the afternoons. It will all be OK. It will. God is with you, dear one, and He knows all of this too and He is making sure you're all OK. I know that feels less helpful than I mean it to, but it's what I can offer since I can't be there to entertain your kids, hold the baby and let you have some rest. :-)
Wife to Todd since 1995
Mom to Emma (2000), and Abigail (2001)
Julie in MN
Posts: 2909
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 3:44 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: Missing Dad

Unread post by Julie in MN »

I also was right on schedule over the last 2 years, and all ready to start RTR this fall. But our year has been chaos as well. My husband is seriously ill and my daughter just had a baby 10 days ago & she has a fever & I feel like I'm raising the little guy.

What I've been doing is pretty much what the others suggest -- get some basics done each day, which is easy for me to think thru when I have the RTR grid in front of me.

Then I let life be the lesson when needed. Babies go very well with the RTR science on the human body :o) Ds thanks the baby every day for teaching him health class! I've long wanted to teach more cooking, and I've been able to do that. Gradually I have been adding in RTR & we just finished week 7. I have used videos as you mention (a perfect suggestion of Drive Thru History came my way). I have become good at knowing what ds can do with me nearby but not necessarily hands-on.

The way I look at it, something will work itself out. We will just start later every year from now on, or possibly there will be a time we catch up. Ex-1850 ends with a 6-week state study -- maybe we've already covered most of that with field trips & will skip most of it. Or, 2 years after that, we will repeat ECC -- maybe we'll be able to skim parts we remember well.

Something will work out, I feel sure. For our family and for yours and for all the others out there. God is alongside us.

Oh, and we have come to love Bible study in the evening as a family, so when we're ahead of the RTR Bible, we chose another book of the Bible to read thru together when needed, such as Psalms, Proverbs, or ds's favorite -- Matthew again :o)

Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:41 pm
Last year at this time, I was in the exact same situation. We only finished half of RTR. I am happy to tell you that this year, we did the other half of RTR and are doing the first half of EX1850. It has worked out fine for us and likely it will for you.

Math and English were closer to normal but still not where I had expected to be. My son is a level below his grade in Singapore & he did more independent drill. However, his standardized test scores are still above grade-level! We took two years to do a year of Writing Strands, but that has worked out fine as well and his writing has really taken a step up this year as we entered EX1850.

Classroom teachers don't always finish their curriculum and definitely some of their students don't master everything. Don't panic. Goals are to be strived for, but not always accomplished within a specific time frame.
Last edited by Julie in MN on Wed Nov 29, 2006 1:53 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002+)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs
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Re: Missing Dad

Unread post by Lucy »


I am pray with you and others for you to find His peace in all of this right now. I have been behind at times and found taking a break for a week can really clear things and takes the pressure off too. Do not feel bound to trudge through. A couple of times I have started my year finishing the last couple of weeks of last years curriculum or starting a week early and finishing up those 2 weeks doing only science and history. Like Julie there are times that I just did some things lighter in history for a day or week. I would do all the readings but just focus on a small part and book basket. All of your kids will do this year again with the exception of the 10 year old(well he will do it at a high school level again) so if he is able(and only if he is able) you could even have him read some to his sibiling or just read it own his own(of course not Streams:) ). It is o.k. if they are not getting everything.

As far as the music and art, as wonderful as they are , they are extras, icing on the cake. Now by saying that I am not saying they are not wonderful components to the program but these are 2 subjects that we have had an ebb and flow with over the past 4 years, especially the art. So some weeks I pick it up and others we just do not get to it. I do not try to go back and do all the missed lessons. I primarily focus on the art history/artist as opposed to the doing the art itself. Although I think it is great we have just not been able to keep up with it consistantly and my kids take some outside art classes.

Hope this encourages you a bit along with the others.

Grace and peace to you,

wife to Lee and mom to Twila 18 (girl) and Noel 16(boy). Happy MFW user since 2002.
Posts: 207
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Re: Missing Dad

Unread post by LSH in MS »

Thank you, thank you for all of your heartfelt advice. They have blessed me. I think I will do a little english and math and have fun this Christmas. I already got a lot of Christmas read alouds from the library. We bought the Drive thru History DVDS at kellybell's suggestion and my boys love them. They beg to watch them and I love the fact that they have a Christian perspective.

Thank you again.

Have a blessed Christmas!

Update Posted Mon Dec 17, 2007 12:37 pm
I understand. It will take us almost 2 years to do RTR. My 8 yr old is a struggling reader and it will take him 2 years to do MFW 1st. But they have learned a lot these past 2 years! Just keep focusing on the basics of reading, writing, and math. Don't try to catch up. Just do the next day. Set small goals. We are finally to the place now that we are accomplishing more school. You will get there too!

wife to Clifford, mother to ds (17), ds (16), ds (15, ds (13), ds (8), and ds (3)
MFW user for 10 years
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Aug 16, 2006 3:33 pm

Re: Missing Dad

Unread post by Cate »

I can hear your frustration! I have kids the same ages except I don't have a 7 year old. My little one is a year old which makes it even harder in my opinion.

What has helped me is making a list weekly for the older kids of everything they do daily independently. I include Rosetta Stone, handwriting book (we use one), math windows, piano, trumpet for the 10 year old, and spelling. English is one the list but they always come to me to find out what to do. Same with math except I broke down and bought a program on cd so the kids could do it on the computer. ONe less thing to teach this way! Thank you hubby!

During the above time I sit in the living room and play with the 5 year old and baby. I used to spend that time nursing, changing diapers and rocking when my baby was newborn. I spend a lot of time loving on my 5 year old and just reading with him. Maybe you could cut back on what your 5 year old is doing.

AFter about 1 1/2 hours of this I would do the parts (I am using ECC) that require me like Science and Geography. I try to make this under an hour. I am only needed for part of the time as they usually use part of that hour to finish their notebook pages.

I make Book Basket a part of our day when I need 15 minutes alone with the baby to get him to sleep or something like that. When I need it, I announce that they can finish up what they are doing later and we do BB. I don't like never reading them to the kids but at least I have previewed them all and it is good to silently read. When the baby is older I will do BB with them. But now, it doesn't happen.

I totally understand as babies are hard work. Please, please enjoy your baby. They grow so fast and pretty soon they are one years old and into everything and then school becomes harder yet in a different way.
You can figure it all out! Hope something in the above helps!
Posts: 67
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2004 10:23 pm

Re: Missing Dad

Unread post by Heidi »

Just wanted you to know I am praying!

I feel led to add is when I was going through a rough time while my little one was a baby - I used my rocking him to sleep time as I sang lullabies to him as my devotional time and a re-engergizing time. I sang worship songs to him too. My older ones and I liked it so much, I sing to all of them to this day at bed time. I sing to the boys who sleep together in a bunk bed on M and TH, and to my daughter on T and Sa. W, F and Sunday are Awana, movie night and Sabbath rest. It does not matter if I am off key alot. We are all bummed though when I get a cold and can not sing. I have even written some songs as a result of all this.

I am right there with Kelly's suggestions! In fact, I do school in reverse - we take Nov - second week of Jan. off for the holidays since it is so beautiful here in FL now and so many things to go see and do this time of year. Plus, I have three birthdays in addition to holidays. I do school second week of Jan - Oct with a 3 week break for Easter and again in July.

I am so sorry for your loss last year - maybe you are a bit depressed for this sorrow.
FL Mommy of 3 "sensational" kids
Homeschooling since Fall 2004
Child 1: Blue LLATL/MFW 1, Adventures, ECC
Chld 2: MFW-K, MFW-1+ joined Adv, ECC
Child 3: MFW-PK, MFW-K + joined ECC
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Joined: Fri Sep 08, 2006 12:02 pm

Re: Missing Dad

Unread post by kburk40 »

Hi Lori, Please do not be so hard on yourself. I lost my father in May. He was 77 years old and in relatively good health, but he got pneumonia and he died. We did school in an ICU waiting room for 2 weeks. I know my children did not get much during this time but we finished up in the summer. I did not realized how much it would hurt or how long it takes to stop feeling so sad.

Your children will be just fine. Try letting the older children go to a bedroom and do the History and Science reading on their own. Then they can come back and tell you about what they learned. This will give you time with the younger children. I do GATHOA in the summer time. My children enjoy this so they do not feel rushed. We also do the read alouds in the summer. We listen to the music CD's in the car. If I am having a hard week we might move science to Friday. Why don't you guys take December off and just finish in the summer? Give your heart time to heal.

About three years ago I had to homeschool through my cancer treatment. I only spent about 2-3 hours a day on school and only did the basics from Feb. to May. I felt like a complete failure and I was sure my children would suffer irreversible educational deficiencies. My kids were fine and yours will be too !! I'll keep praying for you everything will be fine. Karen
Posts: 350
Joined: Thu Aug 03, 2006 2:45 pm

Re: Missing Dad

Unread post by RachelT »

Dear Lori,
My heart goes out to you. Although it has been 13 years since I lost my own daddy, the grief still sneeks up on me at times, especially around holidays or celebrations. I started crying as I was decorating my tree the other night. It is very understandable that you will grieve this December, too. I think of my dad often, but I will go months without getting upset about it and then just break down when I do something that makes me think of him or see his brother or sister ( my uncle and aunt) who remind me of him or we have an important milestone for my children and he is not here. I still miss him, but that's the pain of having loved so much. I look expectantly toward seeing him again one day.

Sometimes it helps me to feel better encouraged about what I am doing to think of how proud my dad would be of my own desire to teach my children about the Lord and to be spending so much time with them, helping them to learn about our world and themselves and God's Word, etc.

Other times, it just helps to talk (and cry) about it with my husband or my mom or sisters. I also talk to my kids about him and tell them funny stories or things that make me laugh about him. I also tend to write it out in my journal which gets my feeling out and on paper ( or a message board!).

Just know that God holds you in His hand and is with you even now. May He draw you closer to Himself through this and bless you and your family for the sacrifices you are making.

Love to you!

Homeschooling while caregiving

Unread post by TurnOurHearts »

RB wrote:OK...deep breath. We just found out that my mom has a very serious, aggressive form of Lymphoma. My dad died when I was 9 and I'm an only child, and we are extremely close. She will be admitted to the hospital every 2 weeks for 4-5 days. Between times she will stay with us (we are converting my son's room).

We are all grieved and overwhelmed and clinging to the Lord. First...I'd ask for prayer for courage and strength and peace for her (ans us as we support her). We've been overwhelmed by the love and response by our local church body.

Also, if anyone has any advice about homeschooling in the midst of this...please share!!! In the big scheme homeschooling has been mentally pushed down on my priority list for the next few months but it can't be abandoned completely. We are new to MFW, but have all our materials ready for the coming year.
Hi RB ~

I don't have any advice. You're doing the one thing you can do, and that is cling to the Lord & trust His provision for this season. I just wanted you to know that I will be praying, and with some tiny grain of understanding (my father had big cell non-Hodgkins lymphoma many years ago). You are first and foremost in His great loving care.
Julie in MN
Posts: 2909
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 3:44 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: Homeschooling while caregiving

Unread post by Julie in MN »

It can be done. Taking care of loved ones & teaching our children may seem like too much sometimes, but it can work out & you can find peace with it. I have been called a "caretaker" this year, both of my husband and sometimes my grandchild, and yet we have continued our homeschool & ds has tested well (required in MN). My MFW "board friends" have been a big part of my support system...

Here are a couple threads for you to read, about when we need to have our kids work independently:

And this thread started out about something else, but turned into a thread about being "behind" in our schools:

These threads show people can use MFW along with other "jobs":

And finally, there are lots of threads with just general hugs, hand-holding, & encouragement in the "other subjects" archives:

Blessings & prayers as you take care of your dear family,
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002+)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs
Linda in Mo
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2006 2:37 pm

Re: Homeschooling while caregiving

Unread post by Linda in Mo »

Well, my situation is quite a bit different that yours but in the last several months I have been dealing with the same sort of problem. My father became seriously ill in March. After a 2 week hospital stay we moved him into our home.

We put off most homeschool for a month or two and tried to only do Math, English and some reading. We homeschool year around so it has been a challenge to get everything done I wanted to but I decided I did not mind taking a few months off just to be there for him and enjoy him as much as possible but try to get the bare basics done with the kids.

Now, we have also been in the process of building him a home on our place. That has been a challenge as well. But it is so nice knowing we will have our own homes but be very close.

But by far the most challenging has been the paperwork- hospital bills, applying for disability, dealing with his employer...... If you are going to be in charge of that that will definitely be a big stressor. I really recommend you take the time off during chemo and such and try to be there for your mom as much as possible then when things somewhat settle down try to set an allotted time aside to get your schoolwork done. Though it will be interrupted. (We have made 3 trips to the drs. this week alone.)

Try to enjoy your mom, get your basics in hs done as you can and don't sweat the small stuff. I will be praying for you and your family.

Posts: 3
Joined: Wed May 09, 2007 12:51 pm

praying for you

Unread post by BIKERMOM »

I also wanted to let you know I will be praying for your mom , you and your family. My dad moved in with us about 3 years ago. Although his health is okay right now, because of the stroke he had, I am the one to take care of the paperwork, among other things.

I totally agree with the other posts to say that clinging to the Lord is the best 'advice' anyone can give. Trust in the Lord with all your heart..lean not to your own understanding. Trust means to lean and rely on. Guard your time with the Lord because He is your Source !

Remember to take care of yourself, too ! That is SO not being selfish !
wife to dh for 14 yrs
mom to 13yr ds,
12yr dd,
twins- 6yr ds

" If you give God the right to yourself, he will make a holy experiment out of you; His experiments always succeed !"
Posts: 87
Joined: Wed May 09, 2007 9:14 am

Follow-up - Homeschooling while caregiving

Unread post by RB »

AES wrote:I've had a terrible, terrible time these past several months with health issues. I really want my girls to enjoy being at home. Any suggestions?
Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:00 am
Wow, tough question! Praying for the Lord's wisdom as well as healing for you.

Thought I'd write something b/c I toyed with the idea of putting my girls in school this year. My mom has gone through very very intense cancer treatment this year, and she is a widow and I am the only child so we've been very involved in helping. That said, it has not been me who has been sick so I know we're comparing apples and oranges here :)

Just thought I'd share my own process for evaluating, though. First, dh and I wanted to continue to homeschool. Sounds like the same is true for you. So the real question became whether or not we could provide them with a good education this year. Because they are still quite young (1st and 2nd), the MFW programs are easy to use and flexible (we have had book basket and read-alouds in waiting rooms and hospital rooms) and dh was available to help some this year...we decided that we could.

For us it was the right decision, but we might have decided otherwise if we had not been able to provide what we thought was necessary. We have cut a corner here and there as necessary, but we will finish both programs in early June. I did "unschool" for the month of January :)

Creative thinking can sometimes help, too. Do you have a hs friend who might take your dd to a co-op once a week? Could she take a few classes at public school and be home the rest of the time? We decided to put ds4 in preschool to be able to maximize our school hours for the girls. Just something that worked for us this year, but all 3 will (Lord willing) be home next year.
Julie in MN
Posts: 2909
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 3:44 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: Follow-up - Homeschooling while caregiving

Unread post by Julie in MN »

AES wrote:I did want to let you know how helpful your response was because ideas just started 'clicking'. Since I had a doctor's appt. yesterday, I just grabbed an old sherbert bucket threw in 2 readers I had and called it 'book bucket'. I also asked dh to go to the dollar store and I found some educational things.
Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 9:46 pm
I think your new plans sound perfect. For a kindergartener, school can just be a short time every day that she knows she will do something with you. Even for kids who are "learning machines," which yours sounds like, the learning can be almost anything. A bucket of books, a notebook of drawings, a puppet show, cooking, making a list, reading the Bible -- thousands of kids were once educated on the Bible alone.

Kindergarten isn't even a requirement in Minnesota. I believe sometimes using a public school can be the best choice for a family, but if you don't feel called to do that, then I wouldn't worry at all at such a young age.

Praying for you,
Posts: 36
Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2008 1:43 pm

Stability with MFW

Unread post by Jami »

So this is our first year homeschooling and I use 100% MFW and their recommendation for math, english, etc, nothing else added on. We just finished our second week and we all love it.

Unfortunately my three month old daughter who has hip dysplasia (dislocated hips) had to have surgery on Monday this week. We actually just found out she needed surgery last Wednesday, five days pre-surgery and our third day of school! (We also just moved from Nebraska to Texas (military) four weeks ago!)

Anyways I was so grateful for how easy it is for parents to do school with MFW. Monday and Tuesday I was at the hospital with Leah and my husband stayed home from work and did everything that was scheduled to do for school with no problems. It was wonderful to know that because of the hard work the Hazells did putting together such a great curriculum and telling us what to do step by step that my husband could step in without having done it before or me telling him how to do it, he could get everything done without getting flustered.

When Leah and I got home from the hospital he was doing the science experiments with the boys for the week and he had everything else done for the two days I was away. Leah is in a body cast from her chest to her toes for three months so we'll see how school goes during this time but the rest of the week went well also.

We already know that we'll have another two day stay in the hospital when they change her to a bigger cast and I now know that I don't need to worry about how school with happen when I'm gone.

So I just wanted to say how much I love MFW in this crazy season of our lives. When I talk with other homeschoolers that have never heard of MFW, I know that the Lord has led us to MFW because it is what we need with everything going on in our family.

Thank you Hazells! And thank you to everyone on this forum who gives me (mainly as a lurker) encouragement that I can do this and my family is better for it.
Jami - AF Wife

8th, 5th, 3rd, 1st, Pre-K

2014/15 ECC
2013/14 1850MT & 1st
2012/13 EX1850 & K
2011/12 RTR & 1st
2010/11 CTG & K
2009/10 ECC & 1st
2008/09 ADV & K
Posts: 320
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 5:46 pm

Re: Stability with MFW

Unread post by dhudson »

Dear Jami,

We've home schooled through adversity using MFW as well. Grandma and Grandma even survived teaching for a week while I was in the hospital.

Know that we will be praying for your little one and for the whole family.

Thanks for sharing!
God Bless,
blessed Mom of three - 16, 13 & 13
happy user of MFW since 2002
Posts: 78
Joined: Wed Sep 09, 2009 12:08 pm

MFW on the run- Hubby in Hospital

Unread post by NJCheryl »

ausmerican wrote:Hello all you beautiful moms!
Just writing to ask for some prayer and tips please! My husband is in the hospital receiving treatment for leukemia. This is his fourth diagnosis. We live in country western australia, so we have traveled 8 hours from home, to the city, whilst hubby stays in the hospital. The boys are with me and we are living with some extended family. Anyone else done homeschooling on the run? Atm, I am doing school right after breakfast in the morning and it seems to be working fairly well. I have two ds's, pre-school and kindergarten. Any tips would be greatly appreciated, and your prayers as well! Thanks ladies <3
First let me start by saying I am praying for your husband, and your strength as well. I can't imagine going trough this 4 times. A few years back my husband was hospitalized because he had a stroke from a fall on the ice. I know how exhausted I was, so I can't imagine doing it 4 times. We were not HSing back then, my oldest was in public 2nd, middle was in church preschool, and the little one was only a year. Had I been, I probably would have taken some time off while he was in the hospital and his first week home. You need to do what feels right. If it is working, it could probably be good to keep everyone's minds busy, but if it is getting to be too much, take a break, that is one of the beauties of HS. My oldest daughter has a physical disability. She has not had any major issues in the 2 years we have been home, but had surgery 3 times in her PS years. I am so glad that when we reach another surgery time, we have the option of taking the time to heal without worrying about schoolwork and catching up. Again, I am praying for your family.

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Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2008 7:27 pm

Re: MFW on the run- Hubby in Hospital

Unread post by doubleportion »

We did homeschooling from away from home last winter (2009) when we had terrible ice storm here. We were without power for a month. We had an all electric house and I had a 2nd grader, 2 yr 1/2 yr old & a two month old. I packed up the essentials and headed south with my kids and hubby for a few weeks. I tossed all my books in a big plastic bin and brought it with us. We did school when we could, mostly in the mornings at the table of the house that we stayed at. I will say I had just started back school after a month or more break about a month before the ice storm hit. And I had just finished recovering from surgery. All that to say, what you are going through is way bigger than anything I dealt with that year. Just give yourself permission to take it as it comes and don't do school if you feel that it is the best choice at the time.

That year I started school in July with the anticipation of having a baby in Nov. We took a number of long breaks and still finished by some time in May. After that I found the relaxed nature of year round schooling more to my liking and I have done that same schedule again this year and will continue for the next school year as well. HS is about fitting school to your life, not being a slave to the schedule. Your children are young and you have time to go slow. I would personally think spending time with your hubby is way more important than anything they will learn this year in school right now. I can't even imagine what you are going through as a family right now. I do know that our Heavenly Father is faithful to give us the strength and equip us for the battles that He allows to occur in our lives. I will be praying for you and your family. And I know that God will show you what to do and how to do it during this season in your life.

Julie in MN
Posts: 2909
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 3:44 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: MFW on the run- Hubby in Hospital

Unread post by Julie in MN »

Good morning Cheryl and AusMerican (fun name),

I'm right there in the trenches with you. My dh is in the hospital a lot. Sometimes we're leaving in the middle of the night. But I must be grateful that our hospital is not 8 hours away.

Here are a couple of threads with some good conversation about homeschooling while dealing with medical issues. I think it's always nice to know we're not alone :)

I agree about using your schooling to keeping your hands and minds busy. I often tell my youngest ds that we must take care of our mental as well as our physical health throughout our lives. All of our children are learning valuable lessons about facing any crises they might encounter in their futures, and teaching that lesson "well" seems more important to me than teaching academics.

In one of my posts in the past, I mentioned that during our most difficult period, we just did mostly math and English. However, with little ones, I wonder if I might do the opposite. I guess it would depend, but if the kids were already stressed by daddy's illness, then I wouldn't want to push them through any stressful academics such as trying to learn long division or difficult vowel blends... I guess you would just adapt as you go, but I'd avoid pushing. Sometimes my kids seem so fine until I push too hard, and then I see the stress and pain underneath. When they're little, I'd want school to seem enjoyable and normal and give them an opportunity to have mom's attention more than anything.

MFW has been a great blessing to me during difficult times, because I have that weekly grid to sit and quickly evaluate what I can accomplish and what can wait, what ds can do on his own and what requires a teacher, what involves materials we have with us and what needs to wait. I have no headache trying to remember some unforgotten piece of the day. And I can mark the things we skip so that I can go back and do them if I find a later opportunity (and often I have).

And lastly, if daddy is ill or even if the kids just fear he is ill, I would take any and every opportunity to have daddy teach them things throughout the coming years. I drop everything if dad has the time and energy to teach my son to change the oil, repair the toaster, or to read him a book (which he's doing right now!). Nothing else on the schedule is as important, at least when the kids have reason to be worried about the length of time they have with dad.

That's all I can think of right now. Hugs & prayers,
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002+)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs
Amy in NC
Posts: 66
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2005 10:51 pm

Re: MFW on the run- Hubby in Hospital

Unread post by Amy in NC »


I am praying for you all. I sure can empathize with you. My hubby ended up in the hospital while we were at the convention last year. We were an hour and a half from home. He stayed for 11 days. That was a stressful time for our family.

I'm lifting your hubby up to the Great Physician for healing. Hugs and God's bountiful blessings on your family.

Married to ♥
Rob♥ for 18 yrs
dd(11.5), dd(10), dd(6), and ds(3.5)
Completed Kx2, 1st, Adv, ECC, CTG, & RTR
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Feb 16, 2010 7:35 am

Re: MFW on the run- Hubby in Hospital

Unread post by ausmerican »

Wow, thank you all so very much for your valuable insight and heartfelt compassion :) I'm taking everything that you guys have said on board. I was doing hs for the week that the boys were up here with me, they've since gone back home and are staying with my in-laws. I've been so blessed that about 3 different ladies have offered to do school with the boys. We'll see how they go. There have been some people pressuring us to put them in school. It's hard because you fee so vulnerable at these times and people make it sound like it will be a lot easier on everyone else if we just put them in school. I just think it might be a bit stressful for them to have everything that's going on with our family and add on top of that adjusting to being at school, and they have told me that they don't want to go. Thankfully, I don't think I will have to. There seem to be enough families willing to share the load of looking after the kids atm, while I'm up here with Dean.
Thank you all so much :) much love, cassi
PS I haven't gone back to read the posts on hs and illness yet, but I will ;)
Julie in MN
Posts: 2909
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 3:44 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: MFW on the run- Hubby in Hospital

Unread post by Julie in MN »

ausmerican wrote:I've been so blessed that about 3 different ladies have offered to do school with the boys. We'll see how they go. There have been some people pressuring us to put them in school. It's hard because you fee so vulnerable at these times and people make it sound like it will be a lot easier on everyone else if we just put them in school.
What a wonderful blessing to have the offers of help. And what a wise mom to accept those offers -- you will bless them, as well, by allowing them to do something important for you.

As for the public schooling advice, I think lots of us have had concerned people give us similar advice during difficult times. I can just say that my own experience is that homeschooling during illness has brought us together as a family and has given us bonds and memories -- during a time that otherwise may have had us doing little more than passing in the night, based on my experience when my older kids were public schooled. I have nothing but good things to say about homeschooling during difficult times.

Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002+)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs
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