Homeschooling during difficult time - loss, caregiving,

Art, Foreign Language, Music, Nature Walks, as well as general ideas and encouragement
Posts: 78
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Re: MFW on the run- Hubby in Hospital

Unread post by NJCheryl »

I agree with Jule. When my hubby was sick my daughter was in PS. It was so hard for her to go to school. She wouldn't get on the bus, so I had to take her. She didn't want me to leave. I think being home during these times certainly is what family is all about. Part of the beauty of home schooling is learning life lesson that cannot be taught in a classroom. And what a blessing to have help. That is the family of God at it's finest. Still praying for you all.

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Wk 8 completed - Family job stresses

Unread post by annaz »

momsflowergarden wrote:Well, I still have several chapters to read yet and we didn't really get much of anything fun in. It has been a rather trying week as my dh lost his job and my oldest ds's is still iffy. We did what we had to and then spend the rest of the time just dealing with the beast of what now.
I hope everyone else had a very uneventful week. :-)
Oh no momsflowergarden! I am so sorry to hear this. I will pray for you and your family! What does he do?

We completed South America week 11 today! DD knows maybe all but one of the South American countries. We loved Nate Saint! We both got a little weepy. I have say, I just couldn't pronounce the Waoranis name and just said, "W". ;) Must be a brain block.

The egg experiment was really fun! We got up to 12.4 pounds, but I think we could have had more, but the eggs weren't as level as they should have been. DD also couldn't crack her egg with two hands, much less one. So cool!

Tomorrow, we're going to a civil war reenactment, so I had to get in something about that this afternoon. And I have to confess, I wasn't much for cooking, so we didn't complete any cooking project.
Cyndi (AZ)
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Re: Wk 8 completed - Family job stresses

Unread post by Cyndi (AZ) »

momsflowergarden wrote:It has been a rather trying week as my dh lost his job and my oldest ds's is still iffy. We did what we had to and then spend the rest of the time just dealing with the beast of what now.
I have been there. (((HUG))) The life lessons your children learn now will be with them forever. Trust God -- He knows exactly what is going to happen, and He's not the least bit surprised or worried.
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Re: Wk 8 completed - Family job stresses

Unread post by momsflowergarden »

Annaz and Cyndi, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. It has been a rough week but I do know that God will see us through this. I actually made it through the day yesterday without spending most of it crying. We do have some difficult decisions to make but believing God to show us the right path.

Annaz, it sounds like you and your family had a good time in wk 11. I have had difficulty pronouncing some of the names in the Cam. Town. book also. :~ It seems like when it would click in I would have it and think, "Of course that is how it is pronounced." :-)

I have considered taking the next week to catch up on the extra reading that we didn't do. It just seems like we are behind with it and can't seem to get it back up to speed. Any advice with this. Is it better to keep going with all the other things, Science/Geog. and just keep working the read aloud in as best I can? or is it better to take a a week and finish up the missionary read aloud before I start with Brazil?
Be Blessed
Mom of 5
Homeschooler of 2, ds 10 and dd 11
Using CLE Math, Calculadders, PLL/ILL, Rod and Staff spelling, AND MFW ECC for History, Science and Bible.
Julie in MN
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Re: Wk 8 completed - Family job stresses

Unread post by Julie in MN »

When I've been in difficult situations like yours, sometimes it helps to do "regular school" and take my mind off of things. Maybe that will be helpful to you, or your dh.

But other times, I need to look at my grid and decide what my child(ren) can do without me. Your children are old enough that you can probably do that. Kids understand. It's even good modeling to show them how parents work together when things aren't going smoothly in life, sometimes by just being together. The MFW grid has been priceless to me, so I can really evaluate what I want to do, to skip, to put off until later, without doing a lot of work on one thing and realizing -- woops -- I forgot something else that's more important to us.

I used to make a short daily list of school tasks and put all the materials out on the dining table and my son really could do quite a bit. He knew the basic pattern of our days. Not my ideal method, but one that has worked now and again.

Blessings. Read George Muller early, if you need extra encouragement.
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs
far above rubies
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Considering MFW & Afraid, Plus Dad's sick

Unread post by far above rubies »

Vicki wrote:I have home schooled for 8 years and always used the "school in my house" approach (complete with DVD teachers). Next year my girls will be in the 7th and 4th grade and I would like to combine as many of their classes as possible. I am just down right terrified of messing them up by changing from all they've ever known to something that is completely different. We've never even done a unit study!

Three weeks ago I was ready to just jump in and see what happened. Two weeks ago my dad was told he has esophageal cancer. He lives next door to us. Now I don't even want to think about school.

I guess my main question is how long will it take each day to do the Bible, science & history that MFW has woven together? My girls are strong readers but in the past I've had them work independently from history & science textbooks and they retain very little. I just don't know what to expect as far as a time frame for our day. Last year we spent about 5 hours a day but my oldest was pretty much on her own while I worked with younger dd; Therefore, some things were skipped and little was retained. My youngest dd doesn't do well independently and will daydream the day away if I am not with her constantly.

I am just trying to decide if I should stick with what I know or make a change now before my oldest dd reaches highschool. I am torn between letting the DVD continue to do the teaching while I do my best to help my dad or switch to MFW and just get done what I can each day. MFW looks to be pretty user friendly and seems to require very little prep time but I wasn't sure how it would work if we had a day where we had to "car school". With DVD's we just play them on the go. I know I am just talking in circles but I hope someone can make some sense of this. I am just torn and would like input on how your days with a 7th and 4th grader work out. Thanks :)
Many hugs to you, sweetie!!!

I don't know how things will be for you and your family. In times of stress, I've found that it's best to stick with familiarity, however, that doesn't mean you can't try things out and see what happens.

I've done both unit studies and a "school at home" approach. What I've found is that we actually spent less time with unit studies and the children retained everything we covered. We once even used a 100% independent curriculum and we STILL found that MFW took less of our day! I know it sounds crazy, but it really did.

In your situation, I would make sure the 3 R's are covered and do the hands-on science, history, geography, etc. afterward, remaining flexible in your day. That was the favorite part of the day for my children and they learned so much. Or, ignore the phone, tv, computer, etc., buckle down and follow the suggested schedule in the manual and have it all complete and done by lunch time! This is the way we're moving toward and while the children have had to make some adjustments (me, too), it's amazing the sense of freedom we will when lunch time is over and we know it's time for enrichment activities and the academics are complete, while knowing we've had a rich morning of learning.
K (2007-2008, 2011-2012), ADV (2010-2011), ECC (2011-2012)
2012-2013: CtG [dd (5th), ds (3rd), dd (1st), ds (3), and ds (1) ]
Amy C.
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Re: Considering MFW & Afraid, Plus Dad's sick

Unread post by Amy C. »

Hi, Vicki. Many hugs and prayers to you.

I certainly cannot tell you what to do. I just have a few thoughts.

We have never used dvd's, but I have talked to others who have, and I got the feeling they were very time-consuming. One mom told me that their days using dvd's lasted 8 hours (in elementary years). Also, because the dvd's were rented, they had to stick to a rigid schedule to finish by a certain date. This may not be your situation, but just thinking of the pros and cons with your decision. MFW is set up schedule-wise to be done by noon or early afternoon depending on when you start. This would assume you were starting at 8 or so. Of course, you can tweak the schedule to fit your life.

I switched to MFW 2 years ago. We came from a more "school at home" approach. Among other problems, we were never finishing the workload, and I questioned how much my dc were retaining. The different approach did take some getting used to. Our first year with MFW was a "deprogramming from our other curriculum" year, but it was a good switch and a breath of fresh air. Our second year with them has been the most enjoyable because we have now been deprogrammed.

With MFW, because of the way the schedule is set up and because of the Charlotte Mason approach of shorter lessons with more impact, it allows for more free time in the afternoon. Free time that can be spent in play, nature study, other interests outside school, serving others, etc. In your situation this extra time could be spent with their grandfather, which I think would be very precious. Time to not only to be with him but to serve him during his illness as well. There are other "lessons" in life other than "school" lessons, and I think that MFW helps to allow time for those lessons.

Of course, I don't have a 7th grader yet. I will next year. I know that as they get older, their workload increases, but that is with any curriculum.

Another thing I wanted to say about unit studies. Unit studies have always scared me. I mean I wanted to do them, but the thought of getting it all together scared me. I have found that with MFW, it is all planned out for me. They even list what materials you will need for the hands-on stuff at the beginning of each week in the teacher's manual. Most everything is easy to find. For those very few times they were not, I skipped the project. That is another thing, in your situation, you could focus on the 3 R's and Bible/History/Science reading and then just do what you can of the other.

The teacher's manual grid really is open and go and user friendly. When on the go, we usually try to get done what we can while home and then take the subjects we can do outside the home with us, like math or LA. Another thing is that the week is set up where Friday is a light day. So really you have a 4 day week (if you want to work in that light day's work on another day). Or use that day to get caught up on anything you did not get done during the other 4 days. Of course, you could make any day your light day.

I do know, though, that any time you have a major life change that you have no control over, that it is recommended that you not make any other major changes that you do have control over. I can see, however, where MFW could be a blessing for you and your family. It has been for us. I will pray for God's guidance in this for you.

Amy C.
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Re: Considering MFW & Afraid, Plus Dad's sick

Unread post by Fly2Peace »

We are behind this year, partly because of time with my Mom who was going through cancer treatment (lots of doctor appts, lots of tests, etc, many of them over 2 hours away), then 7 weeks in the hospital, where I was with her most of the time.

My girls learned a lot during that time. We learned more about Lymphoma B, and then myelodysplasia, followed by Acute Leukemia. We learned a LOT about blood, and health, food and blood sugars, insulin and steroids, infections and control of such. We also learned what a blessing it is when others are willing to help in a multitude of ways (taking children for days when doctors appts. will take all day long, or when I was staying at the hospital for days at a time).

I say all this to say, MFW is such a blessing to me, all through this, as were able to just pick back up and go when it worked for us. Are we on track for where I thought we should be at the beginning of the year? Well, no, but life is like that sometimes. The grid in the TM is worth its weight in gold to me. It has helped reduce my stress in what was a very difficult time. I am thankful that I was able to set it aside, and be with Mom during that time, time that won't be available again in this life. We will make up for being behind in school, but we gained so much more than an education by being flexible during 2010. Mom fought and won the battle with Lymphoma 4 times over her life (1967, 1976, 1988, 2010), and then was able to beat the Leukemia too, in December 2010. She is a miracle that said she dedicated her life to science while living. She passed away for a complete healing on January 2, 2011.

Prayers for you and your family during this time.
Fly2Peace (versus flying to pieces)
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Re: Considering MFW & Afraid, Plus Dad's sick

Unread post by Vicki »

Thank you all so very much for your hugs and wonderful points. You've mentioned things that have been so very helpful. My heart is breaking thinking about what my dad is about to go through and yet at the same time I am so thankful that the Lord has led me to such wonderful people who are willing to take the time to help me. I was planning to begin with CtG and I think this will work well for my kids and my dad. He is a history buff who loves to study the Bible and grow things. He even raises chickens :) I think MFW will be a great fit for the flexible schedule we will need. (The DVD's have become increasingly rigid and stressful for my girls. Stress is not something they need more of.) I can just picture my dad sitting with my girls as we study what we can. I think it will be better for all of us to be focused on God's word and each other rather than a DVD teacher. It is exciting to think of all that the Lord may teach us as we study together. I will just have to learn not to be so hard on myself and remember that learning comes in many ways. I am sure I will have to remind myself daily that God has led us down this path for a reason and there are many things we can learn from Him as we walk this uncertain road. Things that aren't found in a textbook or workbook. The Lord will really have to help me with remembering that because I am such an "in the box" kinda gal! I am glad to know MFW's TM is so easy to use because I will have to have that! I can't even wrap my mind around what our days will be like but I know my girls will be excited to do MFW. My friends & family members will be very critical of my changing from what we've always done but I'll just have to rely on the Lord to give me the words He'd like me to tell them. What I'd come up with on my own would not sit well with them :) Anyway, that's the beauty of homeschooling - freedom to choose. Thank you all again for being so kind! ((hugs))
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Re: Considering MFW & Afraid, Plus Dad's sick

Unread post by HSmommi2mine »

My fil had the same kind of cancer a couple of years ago. It is very agressive and he is going to need a lot of help as he does chemo and the surgeries. Remembering this vividly from my own experience, make math and LA as independent as possible. Choose whatever will require the least from you in those two subjects. Consider the rest of school optional for the rest of this year and so, choose something fun and flexible for everything else. MFW would do well for these other subjects but no matter what program you choose be ready to use it or not as needed. When you really only get 1/4 of the program done this year, relax and don't worry about it.

Grandpa is the lesson. Your kids being with him is the most important thing you can do for them. My son lost untold amounts of schooling the year my fil was sick but he will never forget his time with grandpa and it has had no noticeable effect of his educational progress.

As for the car-schooling - hand your 7th grader the lesson plan grid and the books and let her read aloud to all of you.
Last edited by HSmommi2mine on Thu May 05, 2011 9:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Julie in MN
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Re: Considering MFW & Afraid, Plus Dad's sick

Unread post by Julie in MN »

cbollin wrote:I'm hoping that if she has time, Julie in MN might share how it has worked in her family with cancer and having family together and enjoying MFW Bible and history together. many (all) of those stories are beautiful.

Hi Vicki, <<we need a waving smilie over here>> :-)

I don't come from a school-at-home background, but I do come from a kids-in-public-school background. Then when I brought my middle child home, I tried to change everything myself, providing the spiritual and academic and practical training that I had always wanted for my kids. I was trying to overcome all the things you mention -- kids not retaining anything, kids with different needs, kids needing more guidance in terms of what to understand about the things they read or heard. But I was pulling it all together myself. I wasn't getting it all done and I was spending too much time away from the kids, planning. Then when I found MFW, I knew that for my youngest it would be just the best of both worlds -- teaching the things *I* wanted to teach, but having it all planned out by Marie Hazell -- just like the lesson plans those school teachers had :)

I was a little terrified, too, to jump in and bring my youngest home to do MFW, I didn't even feel sure it would really happen. But it felt right. And here he is finishing his seventh year with MFW!

I'm so glad you're considering spending some time learning together as a family right now, while your kids are still young enough to do some learning together, and while your dad is still well enough to know them, too. We've had a lot of ups-n-downs at our house over the last five years, like you probably are experiencing, but Crystal is right, spending time *as a family* in the Bible (not in a book *about* the Bible, but just opening our Bibles together, sometimes learning hymns, praying, and just reading the Word every day) has been my favorite. We've learned lots of other cool stuff, but the Bible time is the thing we continue to do as a family, even now that my youngest is in high school. (We've even been known to do it over the phone when dad was in the hospital ;) ) As I mentioned, I was already trying to do these types of things with my middle child, so I had already started the transition before I found MFW. But when our lives got really complicated with my dh's cancer, I'm not sure that I would have continued on my own through our tough times. I think God blessed me with a plan that I could just open and do when I didn't know what else to do, and with the clarity of a grid so that I could see what my choices were each week.

Here's a thread I wrote last summer as an encouragement for someone else. I was thinking about it because it shows how, in the midst of chaos, it turns out that my son had precious time with his grandmother when we didn't even know her days were so short. I miss her, but I am so glad we stopped the spinning wheel we were on in time to spend those extra moments together, to learn together, and to share our faith journeys. Sometimes we don't know what we're doing, but God does. ... 585#p64585

I wanted also to connect you with this thread, where others who have gone before you in the textbook transition share their successes:

Best wishes as you make these decisions and transitions,
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs
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What do you do when someones advises you to quit homesch

Unread post by tangomoon »

gratitude wrote:What do you do when someone advises you to quit home schooling? I really took it to heart today when this happened. A neighbor stopped by to wish us well on our move, and it was part of the conversation. She is about the age my mother would be if she was still alive, and for whatever reasons I really took it to heart.

So what do you do when well meaning people advise you to quit home schooling?

I walked away thinking that given our current situation maybe she is right. A lot has changed for us in the past 2 years financially and bringing a special needs child into our family. She thought it would be too hard for me to continue. I started home schooling because I felt called to it by God and really liked what I read about it. I see a few problems in it, but I still see more problems with the school system. Yet, given our situation and my stress level and the changes we have had she might be right.

Is home schooling still best when life becomes too difficult?
I haven't been in this situation yet, but I would hope that I'd remember to spend some serious time in prayer to see if that was what God wanted for our family at that time (instead of stressing out with worry over it, which is my natural bent :) ).

Will be praying for you.

Re: What do you do when someones advises you to quit homesch

Unread post by cbollin »


I like that. let's Pray. God, did you put those words in Carin's neighbors mouth as words from you? or was it just a nice thing the lady was suggesting to be nice, but wasn't from you? please show that to Carin. amen.

I over think things:
my best guess is to say to yourself...Don't quit now. Homeschooling is one of the few things right now that is stable in your family. Keep going girlfriend! He who called you is able to equip you.

Homeschooling in stress and changes is hard, but not impossible for someone that God called to homeschool. After my move, my stressors were the most high they had ever been in my life. I needed medication and ignored that for months. Didn't stop homeschooling.
I cried in parking lots. I cried in libraries. I cried when I had to start all over with speech therapies.

then, you know what was said to me a few weeks ago? I had just decided to start back up with occupational therapy for youngest. Our speech therapist gave us a name. It was an ideal match. The OT told me "you know what I like about helping special needs homeschooling families? Y'all do the work I ask you to do and I see the biggest gains in the children. I don't know how y'all have the time or energy."

The last thing you need right now is to go back and search for "good" schools in your new area. Remember, you have the house that God really thinks is good for now. That fenced yard will be your school playground for a while.

Yes, it's going to be crazy, nutsy in your life. at least with a rental, you can call the owner for getting stuff fixed. Did I tell you about the first few months here? the tree from the ice storm (uh... I need a tree expert..) and the gutters.. and the appliances all went out. the toilet -- well.. that was youngest's fault, but oh, did everyone in my family learn how to snake a toilet?

I'm not saying that once homeschool, always homeschool and nothing changes that path. I just think the lady was making a suggestion that she hoped was comforting that maybe a break would be ok?
I'm telling you - stick with homeschooling, and when you move, expect it to be wild. then again, maybe your family will be like Dena's family (uh. forgot her screen name all a sudden...) and it'll be fine.
I'll say, be willing to take a break while you adjust to a smaller house and new city.

dont' over do it the first weeks. It really can wait until 2nd semester to join a co-op, or sports class, or even speech therapies.

well... just one opinion of course. I'm going to go hide now....from the cleaning.


ps. if by chance, it is God saying "take this break", I'll still hug (((hugs)))
I do know some people who have to use group schools when they were sure they'd homeschool for a long time.

here's hoping some of the heroes out there (Jenni Saake's and Nikki D's of the homeschool world) see this thread and chime in. or Julie and Shane... or ..... lots of good stories out there.
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Re: What do you do when someones advises you to quit homesch

Unread post by TriciaMR »

Too hard for *you* to continue, or too hard if it was her? Is she a Christian? Has she been praying for you?

After what you wrestled through this last year and such... Well, I'm of the mind, "Don't quit now." Pray about it. Reevaluate after the move and after the school year is over.

I have two kids who are mildly dyslexic. My days are long and it is HARD. It stretches me to my very core. But I see progress. And my patience grows and my love for them grows daily. They would NOT get the help they need in the PS system. My dd would FAIL every spelling test. I would probably have to spend hours every evening helping her with math anyway. Why not do it myself?

Pray, pray, and pray. Ask God to show you clearly.

And {{hugs}}.

Trish - Wife to Phil, Mom to Toni(18), Charlie(14), and Trent(14)
2014-2015 - AHL, CTG
2015-2016 - WHL, RTR
2016-2017 - EXP1850, US1877
2017-2018 - DE, 1850MOD
2018-2019 - College, AHL
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Julie in MN
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Re: What do you do when someones advises you to quit homesch

Unread post by Julie in MN »

gratitude wrote:Is home schooling still best when life becomes too difficult?
Hi Carin,
Many hugs to you. I think Crystal mentioned my name because of course folks have sometimes asked why we still homeschool. I think I'm "old enough" that folks don't really tell me not to homeschool, but they sure do get puzzled. When my dh got very sick and I was basically raising my dd to raise her newborn, folks were not sure I was in any condition to make those decisions for my youngest :~

The first thing I want to assure you is that my oldest was only public schooled, and not in a very great public school, but he is a very nice young man today :-) I don't necessarily think I made the best decision for him, but I think it was okay and God is good.

The second thing I want to assure you is that public school is not necessarily easier than homeschool. I suppose it could be, if you never fulfilled your obligations, never participated, and never intervened. But somehow I doubt that would happen ;) And the other thing is that parenting still needs to be done, so not parenting your children during school hours means more after-school hours spent mentoring them.

And a third thing is that it seems huge that she's the age of your mom. Huge in that it hit you hard, and huge in that you will want to spend some time thinking about your mom in all of this.

I think you have to seriously look at your needs first. You are the rock upon which your school is built. Of course God created that rock, but nevertheless your children need *you* more than they need *homeschool.* God can and will provide grace to help you do this, but you need to think through whether you are able to receive His fullness right now, or whether you need some time to grow. I'm thinking about myself as a young mother, and why I never homeschooled my littles. To be honest, my dd's whole life probably could have been better if I had kept her at home. But I think I just wasn't ready at that time. God could have helped me, but for various reasons I just think that homeschool wasn't where I was then. It's okay. The Bible is my daily reminder that God loves us even in our weakness, and that God isn't limited to only working through the "best" path, but works through all paths.

Not sure if I made sense because I have much feeling for you as I type. I will pray.
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs
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Re: What do you do when someones advises you to quit homesch

Unread post by fdjoyce »

Life is hard matter if you homeschool or not. That doesn't mean it isn't good! Hard is NOT bad! Sending your children to public school will not make life suddenly easy.

Revisit the reasons you decided to homeschool- are they still valid? Are your goals being reached? Pray & talk to your husband if married. Decide together what is best- you are the ones accountable for your children, not your neighbor- regardless of how well meaning they may be.

Re: What do you do when someones advises you to quit homesch

Unread post by cbollin »

time for a philosophy quote from Dory
hey mister grumpy gills. When life gets you down, know you what you gotta do?

I dont' want to know...

Just Keep Swimming!Just keep swimming...swimming swimming.
Cyndi (AZ)
Posts: 543
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Re: What do you do when someones advises you to quit homesch

Unread post by Cyndi (AZ) »

gratitude wrote:Is home schooling still best when life becomes too difficult?
It has been for us. I homeschooled through chronic illness and vertigo. Homeschooling helped keep me sane and my young dd learned a great deal of empathy and how to handle stressful situations, even how to give medication if necessary. I homeschooled through my dh working away from home for 6 months (while I was having bouts of vertigo and dealing with the worst snowy winter ever). I hs'd through him getting layed-off from that job after being top 3 salesman in the company mainly because we could not sell our house and move. I hs'd after us having a roll-over accident in the u-haul trying to move his few things back home. I hs'd through him flying out of town to work every week for 9 months after that. I hs'd through another cross country move when that 9 months was up. (Well, not really -- I took quite a long break from formal school and just taught/learned what we needed to know.)

Homeschool was my "base." It was my constant. I stayed incredibly close to my dh while he was away (thank God), but I didn't see him everyday. I couldn't clean house or cook everyday. But I could homeschool -- we could lay on the bed and read and do math drills and spelling drills if nothing else. And now, on the other side of all those issues -- I'm basically healed from my chronic health condition. My dh has a great job that allows him to be home every night. We are in a fabulous homeschool group. God has redeemed so many things that I thought I was losing (including my mind), and blessed us beyond measure.
gratitude wrote:So what do you do when well meaning people advise you to quit home schooling?
When even my own mother questioned whether I could keep homeschooling, I would say, "What is my alternative? -- Keeping up with someone else's schedule or keeping my family together?" I choose the time and place for schooling my dd, and I definitely choose the material to teach her. If someone is really concerned about it, ask them to pray for you. "I firmly believe that God is asking me to homeschool these kids, and He gives me the strength to do it because it is His will. If you'd like to pray for me, I would appreciate it. The only way I would stop homeschooling is if God spoke to me to stop as directly as He is asking me to continue now."

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Re: What do you do when someones advises you to quit homesch

Unread post by gorillamama »

Praying for you, Carin, for strength, encouragement, wisdom, and all you need now. God knows your heart and how those words hurt and how the seeds of doubt start sprouting...

For what it's worth, one of the pediatrician's in our group "frowned" upon us a few weeks ago, and although he didn't advise us to quit in so many words, the message sort of shone through. It was my 5 year old who brought me out of the "maybe he's right" phase. So, maybe talk to your kids, sometimes God uses our "babies" to encourage us more than we can encourage them.

I was super encouraged by the other posters on this thread. I hope you are encouraged, too!
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Re: What do you do when someones advises you to quit homesch

Unread post by gratitude »

gorillamama wrote:I was super encouraged by the other posters on this thread. I hope you are encouraged, too!
I do feel SUPER encouraged! Thank you ladies for the encouragement and the stories. Oh, my heart went out to some of your for some of your stories of what you have been going through with home schooling. The moving stories are helpful too. Of course some of you have been through very similar or exact situations to this one and kept home schooling! Super encouragement! Then I look at our story, and well... yes, a lot has happened since we decided to home school. Life happened, and like many of you home schooling has been the one constant and is keeping my children from switching schools during this move.

I will pray about it. I think it hit me so hard for a number of reasons. I was vulnerable yesterday. My DH is commuting 200 miles a day, so by Saturday I am TIRED. Plus, my dd4 had been throwing up for 30 hours. I was also in the middle of trying to pack when she came over. Lastly, I do tend to look up to 'grandma aged' ladies more than not, so I take their words more seriously more quickly than not.

My DH thinks she was trying to be nice (she is an extremely kind person) and give me a break, and he also thinks home schooling is something that she wouldn't choose to do herself. Two children, as she has told me in the past, was plenty of work for her without home schooling. She isn't currently attending church, but at one point I believe she was active in one and has given us gifts at times that reflect her faith.

I like the suggestion to pray about it. Re-evaluation can be good for focus, and I can see how my DH re-visiting this decision in prayer could be helpful during this transition. May God use this for good. Who knows how he may use this situation to help me. I also like the suggestions of getting moved, getting settled, home school for the year, and see how it goes, and keep giving it up to God. I can not imagine finding a school right now for them to start a week after moving!

Time to leave for church... Thank you ladies for the support and encouragement.

P.S. My oldest son really loves home schooling, and would be VERY UPSET if I ever quit. The other ones don't talk about it as much yet, but they are also just at the very beginning of actually doing school at home. My second born though wouldn't dream of going to Sunday school without big brother; so this fact may say a few things in itself about a school building for him at age 6 1/3.
asheslawson wrote:Carin, You have been very kind and thoughtful to so many, including me. I don't know everything you are going through - but I think prayer is an awesome answer. I know some need to put their children in public school and their children will be fine with dedicated, prayerful parents. For others christian schools or charter schools are right and for others homeschool. I'm sure you will do what is right for your family if you let God direct your path. I really don't have much to offer, except to let you know that I am praying for you and your family.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply.
We are at the tail end of a pretty difficult 3 years. The tail end means that we should be fine, right? We choose to home school and then our happy lives had so much 'life' happen. Medical issues for my youngest, which very thankfully are at a current status of being very stable, my DH self-employment recently going back to full-time employment, and a challenging second move. In some ways I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, and in others it seems like the beginning of a pretty large transition. I do appreciate the prayers! It seems to me too to be the one bottom line answer to everything. God is Good. I liked what the sermon was on today when it defined faith differently than I have usually thought of it. Our pastor defined faith as putting our full trust in God's character and competence.

The MFW board & this thread is helping me so much! :-)
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Re: What do you do when someones advises you to quit homesch

Unread post by meagabby »

cbollin wrote:Yes, it's going to be crazy, nutsy in your life.
cbollin wrote:I'm telling you - stick with homeschooling, and when you move, expect it to be wild. then again, maybe your family will be like Dena's family (uh. forgot her screen name all a sudden...) and it'll be fine.
Carin, My moves ARE crazy, nutsy... my posts my not sounds that way, maybe because I try to keep myself from the thoughts that creep in, wondering if homeschooling is still the best for my situation. It will be wild, but go with it. ((hugs))

our moves?... well, none are the same, so I'm sort of simple minded and look at it like someone said, they are the only constant in our lives. Homeschooling and moving! I try to make it fun and "an adventure" for the children even if I worry about the stopping and starting, the living out of boxes for months at a time, finding the library that had EVERY book listed only to move to one that doesn't.

I am not the organized homeschool family that I picture in my mind, but it is my number 1 job to raise my children for the Lord. Academically, I know we cover what we need just by doing MFW. I trust them. My kids love the format. We are flexible because we get to incorporate our learning into our daily lives, not just looking at pictures in textbooks. Real life! Eh, it'll be over all too soon, but I feel I will not regret it.

I say stick with it. If you had your children in public school or charter school you wouldn't necessarily consider taking them out just because you are moving and things are chaotic or stressful. School is still school. It still has to be done so do it the way you want to.

This nice older lady may be of "the generation" that doesn't believe in homeschooling. I have that in my family. They aren't telling me now, but they have in the past. I try not to let it take my focus from teaching and putting it on worrying.

I think you'd have more concrete ways God would show you that homeschooling isn't right for this year.

I'll be praying for you!


Oh, and remember, Satan likes to attack at moments just like these! ;)
Loving learning with MFW!
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OT: Helping Parents while Homeschooling

Unread post by BHelf »

MelissaB wrote:Hi, All -
Has anyone helped care for an elderly parent while homeschooling young children? If so, could you share a few pointers?
Melissa B.
I helped care for my grandmother for "short" spells last year. The first go around, we tried to school in the mornings and then go to her house to help my grandfather with chores and cooking while he cared for her. She is wheelchair bound and has Alzheimers. This was from about February through May. School often took a back burner and I really let things slide. Then in August, my grandfather ended up in ICU for 7 weeks before he passed away...all of this was extremely unexpected. (Still dealing with lots of emotions surrounding it.) Anyways, those 7 weeks he was in ICU and a few weeks afterwards, my kids and I moved in with my grandmother. (My husband had to stay at our house for various reasons and we came home on the weekends while my parents stayed with her.)

Anyways, my children are all still fairly young (at the time they were 9, 5, 4 and under 1) and their ability to work independently was almost none. :) So, we would start in the mornings after breakfast doing school. My grandmother typically sleeps for a couple of hours after breakfast so that gave us some time to get things done. I tried to vary what subject we started with and also tried to keep it sorta fun since there was so much emotional stuff happening around us. I also had lots of coloring pages, crafty-type projects and other things that I could pull out for them to work on by themselves if my grandmother needed me. Some days were better than others as far as school goes. And if I could tell that day would be difficult for whatever reasons (grandmother, issues with my grandfather, attitudes from children) I gave myself some grace and called it a school holiday. I will say that because of my children's ages and abilities for school and independent work, I had to rethink my curricula choices. We did parts of ECC but also did some more relaxed school with FIAR.

I guess my pointers are--make sure the curricula you are using will be easy to use during this stage of life, make sure you give yourself grace to take a day (or weeks) off when needed, make sure you have something they can do by themselves if you have to leave the table for a few minutes, and maybe plan your school day around a time of day that your parent(s) don't need quite as much attention.

Also, depending on your parent(s) health needs, it is possible to get someone to come help with things like bathing/showers, nurse check ups, physical therapy and such in the home so you aren't having to leave to go to appointments all the time or whatnot. If that is something that would be helpful, don't feel bad to check into it. My grandmother has people that come help her daily, except on weekends. I'm very thankful that my mom was able to retire and my parents moved in with my grandmother so that my children and I could return home, although we would have gladly moved in if needed.
It is hard work taking care of adults and wonderful to be able to do so at the same time.


PS--feel free to PM me if you want. :)
Wife to DH for almost 13 years
Mommy to Eileen-9, Merrick-6, Adalynn-5 and Karis--19 months
Cyndi (AZ)
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Re: OT: Helping Parents while Homeschooling

Unread post by Cyndi (AZ) »

I haven't other than preparing meals and making phone calls, and occaisionally going along to the doctor's office. My folks are down the street and I can easily check on them at whatever time of day is convenient. They do not need in home care, but I know that day may come in the near future.

There was an article about this subject in a recent HSLDA magazine - January this year. I *think* I can post this link??? MFW and HSLDA are friends, after all? You can read a brief discussion and there's a place to order a copy of the article, if you want it.

Looking forward to anymore tips that are posted. Brooke - I think you're marvelous!
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used MFW from K through WHL
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Re: OT: Helping Parents while Homeschooling

Unread post by MuzzaBunny »

Routine keeps me sane. ;) I'm a routine girl, so if that works for you, try implementing one. Everything is rote for me. School is between breakfast and lunch. After lunch is the days chores and all days except Sunday have their work to be done. If I have to deviate from the routine, I work ahead, not behind. (So, if I have to go to a dr appt on Tuesday, I work my Tuesday chores into Monday evening.) I plan my menus by the month and shop on the last Saturday of the month for the menu list. Dinner is at a set time and I start preparing it at a set time. It *definitely* wouldn't work for everyone but it sure keeps my head on straight. :)

Bless you for what you're doing. Being a caregiver is hard but it's a job we'll never, ever regret. *hugs*
Julie in MN
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Re: OT: Helping Parents while Homeschooling

Unread post by Julie in MN »

I don't think I was homeschooling yet when we were caring for a grandparent, but I do agree with Bunny that a schedule is important.

There are more folks around the board who do manage to caregive and homeschool. Check out this thread: ... 495#p19979

Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs
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