Encouragement Needed - Do all children like school?

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RJ's Momma
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Encouragement Needed - Do all children like school?

Unread post by RJ's Momma »

momma2kact wrote:My question is: do your children like school? I am looking at (and listening to) all of the homeschoolers that I know and trying to find out what curriculum(s) is being used by homeschooling parents whose children really like and want to do school?

I know and agree that children will "have" to do school whether they "like" it or not. But I want my children to love learning--I was homeschooled from 1st-12th and I didn't learn to love learning until after my one year of college. I see in my children that they all love to learn--I just want to feel confident that I choose the right curriculum for them, to encourage them in their quest for knowledge, and lifelong love for learning.

Thank you,
First, I think it will depend on each child. I have a niece and nephew, both in the 10th grade in the public school. My niece loves school and makes straight A's while also being on track team and being VERY involved (about 3-4 days a week after school and on Sat.) in orchestra. Her brother on the other hand, he hates school, doesn't do well, is in band but doesn't really care, and works a part-time job. Same basic situation/education, but different people.

My dd (8 years old/Adventures) goes back and forth. Last two years we used straight textbooks and she hated it!!! This year we are using a little textbook and the rest is MFW or MFW recommendations. While she doesn't get all excited about starting school everyday, she has said that this year isn't so bad, and she loves all the reading - me reading to her and her reading alone. She also loves the hands-on science and the projects for Bible and history.

So, no, my dd doesn't LOVE school, but she does like to learn and that was one of my main goals for homeschooling, so I'm pretty happy with the way things are going now.

Jenn in NC
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Unread post by Jenn in NC »

Hi again Debbie :)

We are in our third (or is it fourth?) year with MFW, and my kids love school. Before MFW, we did one year with a literature-baesd program and had various problems. We also did one year with a workbook-based program, and even though the content was excellent, the kids became SO BURNED OUT. That was the year they were hating school.

Then we found MFW. So many people on this board have said that MFW was an answer to prayer for them. That is how it has been for us. It is just the right mix of necessary bookwork and interesting activities/discussions. My kids are learning so much (and so am I) and loving it. I should add that I am not an "activity" person. But my first three dc are boys, and they really get into the activities. It makes all the difference for them.

I think there are lots of threads in the choosing curriculum archive that might answer some of your questions, and give you a good feel for the program. I think you would enjoy spending some time there.
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Unread post by ChristyH »

MFW has been an answer to prayer for us also. I have tried Tapestry of Grace, Konos, and Ambleside online.

Thus far this has been the best year of homeschooling ever. My children seem to enjoy most aspects of school this year where as last year, I was eventually dreading it and it was just too challenging for my children. MFW has the right balance for us. My husband has even notice a difference with everyone concerning school and sees improvement.

I thank God for finding MFW.
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Unread post by SandKsmama »

They don't love it every day:-), certainly. And if you asked them, they probably wouldn't say "yes, we love school", but that's b/c my kids are kinda cantankerous that way sometimes LOL.

They do LOVE the MFW part of school, that's for sure. The history readings and projects, the science experiments, the Bible, the music and art - they all love that!

Now, my dd *hates* math, and she hates it every day and she hates it no matter what curriculum it is. She just hates it! But that's not really your question:-)

Amanda, Wife to a great guy since '99, SAHM to 4 fabulous kids! DD(7/96), DS(1/01), DD(8/03), and baby DS (3/09)!
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Unread post by niki »

Do my kids like school...yes and no, we are still trying to get out of summer mode - which was, play, play with friends, play and play some more!! So they really just want to play - right now they drag their feet quiet a bit sometimes, but parts of the day they love: book basket, read-a-loud, geography a-z, looking at maps, art and they don't even mind writing the letters (all from ECC). So I'm certain as the days darken (I live in MI) and outside becomes less inviting, school will take a turn as it did last year.

My kids had a BLAST last year in ADV and I expect they will get back into the groove and actually look forward to school (most parts of it)!!! They also loved K and 1st from MFW. This is a good program for my family, sometimes it feels like it was written for us!

Strong Tower Academy
DD 6th DS 5th DD 3rd

Unread post by cbollin »

I think there are 3 main parts to liking or disliking school: the child, the curriculum, and the teacher. I think those parts have to work together. For my 5th year, MFW has provided that balance. It has combined the best of the best methods along the homeschooling journey.

My kids seem to like most of the things we do in MFW. They enjoy the simple to make hands on projects. I enjoy the simple to clean up of those hands on projects. We all enjoy what is called “book basket” in MFW. (That’s simply a basket of library books to browse for enrichment about the topics you are studying.) Book basket has helped a lot with developing a love for learning and learning by reading.

On Box Day, my middle girl looked at the packaged books and says, “I get to do these this year! Cool!” My oldest looks at the read alouds and says, “I’m ready to start school today.” She was sad the other day on Friday. Here’s her quote: I wish it weren’t light and independent Friday because I want to hear another chapter from Courage to Run. Can’t we please do some more today?”

Not everything is fun for them. And there are some parts of school that they just “get done with.” But we use the recommendations of MFW to “get done with language arts” so that it doesn’t take over our day or destroy our fun.

One thing is certain in my now 5th year of using MFW, my kids aren’t burned out from school and are doing well. And I'm not burned out either. I have my bad days with being overwhelmed, but it's not from curriculum. I’m more than a little biased toward liking MFW --- it’s been working great for almost 5 years and my kids seem to like it. It provides a nice balance and variety of activities, reading, and even pencil/paper task. And yet it is so doable in my real world.

You said in another post that you were looking at the 1st grade program. My middle child used MFW 1st. I liked that it could be done in a small amount of time in the morning to cover all subjects and still leave time for me to teach a 4th grader and deal with an autistic toddler/preschooler. So, I like that I’m not bogged down with school with MFW. That helps me as a teacher to be able to enjoy teaching. And I think that plays a major part in how it works over here. Like Niki, I think sometimes that God whispers to Marie to write this curriculum just for people like me.

Now – don’t get me wrong. My kids would rather be playing outside, or being a couch potato or doing cross stitch and crocheting. School has its place in their lives and it is important. But with MFW we’re not dreading it. Homeschooling is a way of life and takes a lot of work. MFW has definitely been an answered prayer for us.

Agreeing with the others who have said to look around the Choosing Curriculum archive. And to look in the Sticky sections on the main board in the areas called Share Your Experiences.

The one thing that I don't want you or anyone to ever think is that somehow you'll never have rough and tough times in life when you homeschool or use MFW. That's part of life.

You might enjoy reading a book that is part of the Kindy deluxe package called For the Children's Sake. (my library has this book). It is a parent resource book for education.

Cyndi (AZ)
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Unread post by Cyndi (AZ) »

I was raised on workbooks myself, and while I loved learning, I hated "school." I wanted the hands-on stuff, the interaction, the labs, etc. As a result, I am not an "activity type" now - I shudder over almost every project, but when we do them, I end up enjoying them immensely. I'm trying to let loose and make messes and have fun with experiments and clean up later.

So, because of my personality (flaws), I was going to use a workbook-type program for my dd, but finding MFW was an unbelievable answer to prayer. We are only in our second year and using MFW1 right now, but we have loved every day. Some days, she'd rather play than have school, so we "play school." It's great what you can do with a young one! But, to answer your question, she LOVES school and would never give a different answer to that question.

I wouldn't change curriculums for all the money in the world. I have to discipline myself to focus on MFW1 right now, and not dig into getting more information about the higher grades. I know we're going to use them, so I can prepare for that when the time comes. I'm just so excited about everything I've seen from this company. We have so much to look forward to.

That's my 2 cents. HTH
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Julie in MN
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Unread post by Julie in MN »

Ooh, I wonder if I caused you to worry! On another thread, I did say that some kids will never love school. It's always a risk to say that, because I really don't like to discourage anyone -- these boards are here to encourage us! But I also know there are many moms out there who need to hear that they are not alone...

I agree with Crystal that it is definitely a combination of teacher, child, and curriculum. The piece that I was talking about is the child. Specifically, I was referring to kids like our youngest. He will never like school. He likes fun, he likes moving, he likes talking. His first goal in life as a 4-year-old was to become a car salesman -- he thought he could make a bunch of money in one transaction & be done for the day! This year he wants to go to public school because there, he expects to skim over his work & then have fun making kids laugh or throwing spitballs or whatever it is little boys do... I am educating this child "in spite of himself."

My husband was like my youngest. He used to stare out the school windows & not be able to hear what the teacher was saying. He did most of his higher learning as an adult, after he slowed down enough to read at the end of his busy days (he picks up heavy nonfiction that I can barely get thru & I'm a good little student :o)

With my youngest, I sometimes see myself as a cowgirl -- ropin' in wild horses. Most of the wild horses find they enjoy the benefits of being civilized, but there is this one horse who, although he cooperates and he loves me, I know that he would be happiest if I just set him free. Now if I were a good un-schooler, that is what I'd do. After all, he taught himself to read by playing computer games with his older brother. I never had to teach him to handle money. He knows a lot just from inquiring.

However, on his own, how would he ever get the whole Bible inside of him? How would he understand that the characters in a video game are named after Greek gods or Roman emperors or explorers? How would he learn enough math to become an architect for an undeveloped country some day, if he should so choose? How would he write an inspiring letter from the mission field if he couldn't read or write?!

I feel committed to "educating" him. He as much as anyone needs a little ropin' in -- God has more planned for him than spitballs! MFW allows me to streamline that and really teach him the most important things, yet often by using games & cooking & active learning. And no homework -- he is off & running & free as a little pony by 3:30 each day :o)

There is good news in all this. No, he will never be a child who volunteers, "Daddy, guess what I learned today... it was so interesting!" But if Mom says, "Tell dad what you learned about ____ today," or, "Tell dad how you liked the experiment we did today," he will often answer, "Awesome!"
Last edited by Julie in MN on Thu Nov 08, 2007 12:14 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Do your children like school?

Unread post by wisdomschool »

Wow! Thank you everyone--I really appreciate all that was shared. And thank you Crystal--I do have(and read) the book For the Children's sake.

So far I feel that MFW is the closet thing to what I would put together myself if I could....

My hesitancy right now is two-fold: 1) I'm contemplating putting together my own curriculums. 2) I am a bit of an unschooler.........

Thanks again everyone--I really appreciate it!

Debbie Carlson, Friend and Wife to Cy( married 11/99) Momma and Teacher to : Kanen(will be 7 mid October), Abia(4 1/2), Charis(newly 3), and Tobias(14mo.)
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yes and no

Unread post by HSmommi2mine »

My dd loves school and is excited to do school. She is only 6yo but we have had to learn tough things (phonics) and she still overall enjoys school and is reading well. She does "say" she doesn't like school occasionally but she is just mimicking her older brother.

My 10yo likes to learn what he chooses to learn but detests assignments. He was in ps for one year and I don't know if this contributes to his attitude but he hates all things that could be construed as work or school. When I jokingly called an all day trip to an orchard a "field trip," he whined and asked why he had to do school ALL day looooong.

I have worked very hard to pay attention to his learning style when finding curriculum and listen to his reasonable preferences. In fact getting MFW was a big investment in trying to get a curriculum he would enjoy. I give up. He will "hate school" no matter what I do.

Despite the attitude about reading the assignments in MFW I caught him reading "Geography from A to Z" and "the Illustrated World Atlas" during free reading time. For us it's not the curriculum, but rather that anything other than playing video games is required of him.

I think it is a mistake to curriculum hop if a child complains. I know you are not suggesting that, but just as a general rule. Find something that you think will fit well for you and the child and then try to work past any problems.

MFW is a great fit for his learning style no matter how he feels about school and I do hope that someday he will realize that school isn't a terrible thing, but I have quit fretting about it.
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Unread post by mom2boys »

With my youngest, I sometimes see myself as a cowgirl -- ropin' in wild horses.
Julie, I love the way you put things sometimes. A lot of your post sounds like my middle child (8) and could very well be how my youngest will be also (almost 2). Thanks for your light hearted encouragement!

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Unread post by donnagio »

I wanted to add that I was really struck by the comparison of the two children in the same family who had such different attitudes to school, even though they both went to public school. (We tend, I think, to think everything is due to homeschooling and our part in it!)

That kind of describes my 2 older children. My first is going for her PhD in English at SUNY Buffalo. My second is working fulltime as an auto technician, is very hands on and practical, and though he is very intelligent, especiallly in math, really does not like a school environment. They both went to public school, except for my son having 2 years at a small Christian school and a quarter at home.

My third was homeschooled, very task oriented and organized in school, but just not interested in college. She wants to study the Bible, work, get married, and stay home with her family. And my little guy is very active, probably the least interested in school. He spent 2 years in public school until I started homeschooling him. He just needs individual attention, and loves hands on.

I especially like the flexibility of MFW and the structure. I would go from trying to be structured with workbooks, realizing that was not what worked with him, but being too lax with unit study type activities. This is a good balance. He enjoys rather than hates the Language Arts book, partly because we can talk about it rather than "filling in the blanks". Yesterday, he wanted to read the memorization poem out loud, and stood up and read it so expressively.

Each one is so different. The good thing about homeschooling, especially with MFW, is that you are able to adjust it to fit the child.

As always, thank you everyone for your time and care to answer and to encourage! Donna
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Unread post by Poohbee »


Your comment struck a chord with me, that MFW is the closest thing you could find that would be like putting together your own curriculum. I agree wholeheartedly!

I am doing MFW1 with my eldest. We did MFWK last year. I knew before my kids were born that we would homeschool, and I started researching homeschooling even then (6 or 7 years ago). I had planned to put together my own curriculum, especially for the first year or two. I had plenty of preschool and kindergarten workbooks, and I know a fair amount about children's literature, so I knew we would have no trouble finding books to read. I have an education degree, and I have put together my own unit studies before, so I figured I would have no trouble doing it.

Let me tell you, I am so thankful God led me to MFW! As you said, it is everything I would do if I were to put together my own curriculum, plus some. I know I could do it...create my own unit studies and put together my own curriculum, but oh how time-consuming it would be! I am thankful that Marie and family have done all of the research, much reading, and trial and error for me! It all works together so seamlessly. My lesson planning is done for me, and I can spend my time on other things.

As others have said, my dd doesn't always LOVE school, but I think she does really like it, for the most part. She loves the science topics, the pattern blocks, art, etc. The thing she seems to dislike most is the reading/phonics, but it is because she has to actually work at it, I think. She does have a poor attitude at times, but it is something that goes beyond school and into other areas of her life, so it is something we are working on, striving to live a life that is pleasing to God. I know that she does like school, however, when she proudly announces to anyone we meet that she is homeschooled, and her mom is her teacher.

May God guide you in your homeschooling journey and the decisions you have to make regarding curriculum.

In Christ,
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Do your children like school?

Unread post by jillymom »

I'm going to be a little obvious here, but hopefully not preachy. The extent to which our children like school is dependent on many factors - child's learning style, home enviornment, outside influences - but more often than not "Mom's Attitude." Moms, is homeschooling a lifestyle we've chosen and want to live and breathe it with our full enthusiasm? Or is it a "thing" to get done during the day, like laundry or dishes?

We need to look at each child and his or her learning style. We need to prayerfully evaluate and purchase the right tools to help that little person learn what he or she needs to grow to be a great big person.

We need to order our homes and our days to make learning a smooth and easy thing. We need to fill our bodies with good food, good water, sunshine, exercise and rest. If our children are fed a steady diet of media - TV, video games, music, internet - they will have little appetite for books and learning and exploration. Right?

My Father's World is just about the best thing I've seen since I started looking at school stuff 12 years ago before my first child was even born. It can and should be fun for both mom and kids. It all depends on our attitude. The books are engaging, the activites are varied, and the TM is incredibly well laid out and helpful.

If our children say they "hate school", maybe there is a training issue at heart. That expresses an ungrateful attitude toward mom, dad, the people who wrote the great books, and God Himself who has called our families to educate at home. I've heard many comments in my house of, "Do we have to do (whatever) today?" and to me that is disrespect, not to mention setting a bad example to the younger kiddos who still think school is really great and fun and can't wait to start each day.

The only reason I could write the above is because I have been there. But the question that always stops me in my tracks is, "What is the alternative?"

Be encouraged, there are many difficult days! But the rewards are many and you have GOD on your side! Teach your people to be grateful for the sacrifices made on their behalf and pour your whole self into them! School is an adventure, MFW is great stuff, and these years will be gone in a flash!

Blessings and kind regards!
Jill - mom of James 11, Asher 8, Carlton 6, Elsa 4, Sally 2, Wesley 7 months and in my first year of MFW using ECC and LOVING IT!
Julie L.
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Unread post by Julie L. »

Now they like school - with MFW!

JUlie L.
Jenn in NC
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Lately all she does is complain

Unread post by Jenn in NC »

shawnswife wrote:I'm looking for some advice on how to handle my almost 8 year old dd. She is very smart and up until about six months ago seemed to enjoy our schooltime. But lately all she does is complain about school. I understand how her personality operates because she is the same as my husband. She hates schedules, hates to sit still, loves spontaneity, wants to make her own rules and do things her own way. Of course, I am the complete opposite of her.

I have four other kids... I feel like I have already made quite a few adjustments to try to accommodate her. It seems like there comes a point where they need to obey whether they like it or not, but I"m not sure where that line is.
Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 2:53 pm
I agree with this. The bottom line is that no matter what her personality type is, she is biblically required to be obedient. That doesn't mean that it will be easy for her to get to the place where she is able to be joyfully and peacefully obedient to you... but that is the goal.

So... a lot easier said than done, right?

You said you have tried a lot of tweaking of the schedule to fit her desires better. And with several kids in the house you are going to need a schedule. I wonder (just throwing this out there) -- would she be able to come up with her own schedule within certain guidelines that you set for her? For example, you could tell her you want her schoolwork to be completed between the hours of 9 - 12 daily. That may be too long for an 8yo, but this is just an example. Could she then decide the order of her subjects, submit it to you for approval, and then be accountable to do what her schedule says? Maybe if she had been an integral part of creating the schedule, she would be less likely to complain.

Is it possible she is not getting enough one-on-one time with you? I know it is easy to not give our oldest children enough time/attention when there are several littles coming up behind them. I am not asking this to put pressure on you, I just wonder if there might be a heart-felt need issue going on in addition to the obedience/complaining issue.

I am sending up a prayer that God will open your eyes to exactly what your little girl needs most of all right now. He is so faithful to answer those kinds of prayers with the unique answer that only He can give.
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Unread post by mgardenh »

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:04 pm

Maybe if you could stand back and look at what is going on or maybe DH can see what is going on or someone else. Maybe there is some character issue going on or like other poster said not enough time with mommy, or something else going on. Certainly you want dd to be obedient but if you can figure out what is going on and work on that issue then the school stuff might clear. The character issue or other issue may not be dd it may be mom or someone else causing the problems which is effecting school. Just some thoughts. Praying that God will reveal to you how best to handle dd.
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Unread post by brla »

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 3:54 pm

One of my twins is just like this. We ended up making a written "Life Schedule" that included school, chores, who gets showers on what day, who's turn to help in the kitchen, who's turn to pick out/help read the bedtime story, etc. I scheduled meals, snacks and outdoor time as well.

I thought she was going to rebel the most against the schedule, but she's the one who follows it the most. I did sit down with the girls and go over the initial schedule with them and let them know what to expect and what I was doing. Their school schedule was a mixture of independent time and together time. We always have our group time around the same time every day. Other than that, we have her math at a certain time (first thing after snack time).

Everything else is put down on a weekly to do list with every day filled in with my goals for her (spelling, handwriting, independent reading, anything else that is independent). I told her that I didn't care what order she did her list in as long as at the end of every day she had her boxes checked and her work to show me. She also doesn't get any computer/tv/play time until I've checked off on her list for the day.

I made sure they understood that on their scheduled "helper" days, that was their special time to help me and be with mom. They were thrilled.

I also made sure to have a morning PE time outside right before snack time to break up the morning for this daughter.

The other thing we started doing is to have a "Date with Dad" for each child. There's only one "date" a week and that is rotated in order of children from oldest to youngest. Dad takes that opportunity to reinforce school stuff and be excited about the things kids are learning, positive behaviors, things he would like to see, etc.

Of course, during all this, we are addressing the negative behaviors with the scriptures ("Do all things without grumbling and complaining..." comes to mind) relating to her behavior - diligence, obedience, glorifying God, etc.

Once we did this for about a month, with hardly any deviation, she settled down and became much happier about life in general. I really thought the structure was going to be a problem for her, but it turned out that was exactly what she needed. She has some freedom to choose in her day, but still accomplishes what needs to get done.

I don't know if something like this would help you or not, but I thought I'd share my own experience with this same attitude in case it does. It's very frustrating and I will be praying the Lord will give you the answers you need.
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Unread post by dhudson »

Posted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 4:21 pm

One thing I have done with my three is to first teach them Phil 2:14. I paraphrased it by saying "Do everything without whining or complaining so that you may shine like a star in the heavens." We memorized this as well as going over the things that would be considered whining or complaining. We talked about the effect we can have on others and why we want to shine for Jesus and our tone and our tongue play a big part in that. We then made star poster and every time my children showed first time obedience they received a sticker. Once they achieved so many stickers we went for ice cream. After they showed that they were capable of this behavior then it became expected. We rarely have whining or complaining now!

Also when we were in MFW1, we memorized Proverbs 16:24, " Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." We took a taste of honey and talked about how words and tones affect others. We also tried a spoonful of apple cider vinegar which I used as an example of unpleasant words and tones. For a couple weeks after, I would give my kids a spoonful of honey when I caught them using pleasant words and tones or a little vinegar when I caught them using unpleasant words or tones.

It has worked for us!
God Bless,
Julie in MN
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Kids want to ride schoolbus

Unread post by Julie in MN »

RBS in OH wrote:Last night I was excited about starting school and talked with the kids about fun things like lapbooking--dd didn't express much interest in getting back to school activities; ds sweetly said maybe he'd like to make one...A little bummed, I told dh about it this morning and then he talked to the kids. He learned that dd would like to ride a bus and pack a lunch in her new lunchbox. So, we'll spend a little more energy easing back into school mode AND have made plans to eat a packed lunch at the park on some school days--even doing some of our subjects there too ;) Slightly different expectations and refocusing are o.k. too.
Have you seen the back-to-school thread in the archives: http://board.mfwbooks.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=3591
I think one mom has her kids pack their lunch in a backpack the night before :) You could even plan a city bus trip, or keep an eye out for church field trips & such that might include a yellow bus ;)

The grass is always greener, as they say. My ds took a bus for 3 years and literally begged me daily to drive him to school -- which I often did. The bus driver was cranky (or the kids made him cranky), and often pulled over until kids would sit down. Three kids were required to sit in each seat, and they weren't necessarily 3 nice kids.

Once he'd been homeschooled for about a year, he told me, sighing, that he really missed things like the schoolbus. Argh!!!
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
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Amy C.
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Re: Kids want to ride the schoolbus

Unread post by Amy C. »

Julie in MN wrote:The grass is always greener, as they say. My ds took a bus for 3 years and literally begged me daily to drive him to school -- which I often did. The bus driver was cranky (or the kids made him cranky), and often pulled over until kids would sit down. Three kids were required to sit in each seat, and they weren't necessarily 3 nice kids.

Once he'd been homeschooled for about a year, he told me, sighing, that he really missed things like the schoolbus. Argh!!!
Kids! Who can figure them out sometimes! 8[]

I can tell you emphatically that I hated riding the school bus! My opinion of it has not changed through the years. It was not that I hated it then and then look back now and think, "Oh, it was not that bad". Yes, it was that bad! The only "good" thing I can remember about it was that a high school girl took me under her wing and let me sit with her a few times because she could tell I was scared to death! I was very young. UGH! Did I mention I hated riding the bus! I am so glad that I don't have to do that any more. I have told my kids about it, too, when (in the past when they were younger) they wanted to ride the school bus. I wanted them to know it is not all that it is cracked up to be. Appearances can be deceiving! :-)

Anyway, I know that that is not what this thread is about but couldn't resist putting in my two cents worth about the school bus. Maybe I need to see a counselor about my "school bus" issue! :-) Ha!Ha!

Amy C.
Posts: 38
Joined: Thu Aug 24, 2006 7:42 pm

OT: Encouraging an older child who wants to go to ps?

Unread post by hollybygolly »

Teresa in TX wrote:We feel convicted to homeschool our children. Our oldest is starting mfw high school this year and is a very social girl. She likes fashions, she likes friends, she likes getting out of the house, and basically is able to make friends everywhere she goes. I am thinking the social/get-out-of-the-house stuff is typical of a teenage girl...or teenager, period? BTW, she is involved in a club soccer team twice a week, piano, and church youth group. She enjoys our family also, though, and has fun with her brothers and has always enjoyed homeschooling and just being with us.

Her social side is pulling her to experience the high school world. We don't feel led to give in to this, but I want to know how others have dealt with this when it has come up. I've discussed it a little with dh and he's adamantly against it, which helps me when I'm feeling weak about it all. We just went to a homeschool conference last week where Voddie Bauchman spoke. He was so encouraging and very firm against the idea of homeschooling through elementary and middle school then putting them in high school, saying those are the best years to disciple them. I realize that God can lead people to send their kids to ps and it's not always the enemy, but what he had to say was encouraging. I always hear of people giving in to the high school desires of their dc, but I'm also wanting to hear from those who have taken a stand and how it worked out.

Also, could I ask for prayer about this? I'd appreciate it.
This concern sometimes looms in the back of my mind and I've pondered how I would someday handle it. Just wanted to encourage both of you by letting you know that I will pray for the situation, for your faithfulness to continue on the course that God has called you to, and for your children's hearts!

Crystal made a great statement: Let your daughter know that it is important to develop friendships, but not at the expensive of disobeying God's call on your life.

Blessings and His abundant peace ~Holly
Have a blessed day loving our Savior-Holly
Mommy to: Annie and Lynne (11), Maely (8), Gracie (6) and one precious one waiting in Heaven
Completed: MFW K; 1st Grade; Adventures; ECC
Currently using~MFW 1st grade (again!); Rome to Reformation
Wendy B.
Posts: 126
Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2009 6:27 pm

Re: OT: Encouraging an older child who wants to go to ps?

Unread post by Wendy B. »

I enjoyed that conference as well.

There is a local homeschool teen group in the Houston area that at one time really served the need for my kids to have a social outlet. I'm not sure if it is as active as it was when my kids were young teens since much of the original group have graduated and those friendships are no longer limited to mama's willingness to drive. Our group started out as a weekly rotating activity in different areas of town and evolved into a very local group of kids that did pe, book club, and service projects together.

If there isn't a teen group in your area why don't you start one.

I'm missing having a highschooler in my home. Best of luck mama!
Wendy B.
Graduated ds '08 & dd '09
Homeschooling ds 11 & dd 8 using RtR
completed: MFW 1, ADV, ECC & CtG.
Julie in MN
Posts: 2906
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 3:44 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: OT: Encouraging an older child who wants to go to ps?

Unread post by Julie in MN »

Teresa in TX wrote: I always hear of people giving in to the high school desires of their dc, but I'm also wanting to hear from those who have taken a stand and how it worked out. For some reason, this is creating in me a feeling of having failed...I've always wanted my children to keep wanting to be here with us.
<hugs> from me, too. This has been a constant challenge for me, ever since I began homeschooling, and this will be our 8th year.

Here are some past threads that might make you feel you're not alone:
http://board.mfwbooks.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=3909 [above]

Here's something I recently wrote on another board. I think I was writing about the times when I just need to end the conversation with my child because I can't continue discussing it forever without feeling sad. It sounds like you're already doing plenty of activities for your dd, as we are, but sometimes they need reminding.
  • I've always had that situation. Here are the types of responses I have given. Note that I try to keep God out of the conversation, so my children don't blame Him :)

    1. A parent has to do the very best they know how for their children. When you have children, you will have to make those decisions, but for now it is my responsibility.

    2. If you work hard during the hours your friends are in school, then you can be free to spend time with them during all of the hours they aren't in school. No homework for you!

    3. During school hours, there are many opportunities for you to do fun stuff with other kids. I'm willing to sign you up for a co-op class, a book club, a drama group, or a phy ed activity. We can make this fun while still learning lots.

    4. I'm willing to host a friend at our house to do science labs or cooking projects with you every week. Dad is willing to have weekly game nights at our house.

    5. We want you to have opportunities that are better than group schools. You could graduate early if you really want to, or graduate later if you want to take more time. We can arrange a mentor, a community college course, a business, a home-designed course, learning through movies & orchestra concerts, and more. Let us know what your interests are!

    6. We are committed to homeschooling as the best way to raise our children, and this is not negotiable. Love mom.
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002+)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs
Posts: 39
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:56 pm

Re: OT: Encouraging an older child who wants to go to ps?

Unread post by gressman9 »

My husband was probably just at the conference that you were at! He and 3 of our 7 children (the boys) went to TX last weekend with another homeschool art company.

As for your question. I have a non-social 17 yr old boy...and a VERY social 14 1/2 yr old girl. She at many times has begged to go to ps. We let her just go and take band at the school her 8th gr. yr. That went okay. It gave her the opportunity to see a little of what it was like there.

We have gotten both of them involved in our "local" homeschool group. This has been VERY difficult as it is an hour away, and I have 7 children. It is very hard on the gas budget! We do limit it. We pay our dues and never go to the actual monthly meetings. They were both involved in the groups highschool play this last yr (my ds had one of the leads!). This yr he will have his license and is a senior...so we have decided to make it more of a priority. They will both be in the play...also in speech and debate. They might also be driving there for a Algebra and Advanced Math class. This means they will be driving that hour 2times a week. This is hard...but they have their set of friends there and I must say I haven't heard any asking for the public school for the last year!

crazily busy, but blessed mom2seven
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