Facts of Life - Handling delicate topics Bible, Science, Art

Art, Foreign Language, Music, Nature Walks, as well as general ideas and encouragement
Mommy22alyns
Posts: 24
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2011 5:08 pm

Re: The ... Topic

Unread post by Mommy22alyns » Fri Sep 27, 2013 6:46 pm

I've used the first two God's Design books with my oldest (10) and the first one with my youngest (8). I highly recommend them. It kept things fairly simple and appropriate. I need to check out the third book to see if I need to go there yet with DD10.

MelissaB
Posts: 368
Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 10:01 pm

Re: The ... Topic

Unread post by MelissaB » Sat Sep 28, 2013 9:06 am

I had this conversation with a very wise Mom who has three adult children, all of whom love the Lord with all their hearts and have waited/are waiting for marriage. She gave this advice:

First, pray. Ask the Lord what He wants you to share. He knows our child's heart better than we do, He knows what battles he/she may face (either with or without the information), and He knows exactly what each one needs to know and when. Trust Him to lead you.

Second, ask your child: What do you want to know? Do you want to know the details of how this works?
Follow their lead.

We heeded her advice, and have been so thankful that we did.

Hope that's helpful. :)
Melissa B. (Arkansas)
Girls ages 16 & 13
Completed K, 1st, and Investigate {ECC; CTG; RTR; Expl.-1850; and 1850-Mod. Times}
"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,.." Titus 2:4

Cyndi (AZ)
Posts: 543
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:22 pm

Re: The ... Topic

Unread post by Cyndi (AZ) » Sat Sep 28, 2013 2:39 pm

This is *my* opinion, and just one of many. If it's your ds that has questions, then I believe you should ask your dh to have a talk with him. I believe it's important to keep communication open between children and both parents, but when it comes to sensitive subjects, certain things should be separated by gender. I wouldn't want my dh explaining the birds and the bees to my dd - especially not her first time hearing such things. We need to respect the fact that our children are young ladies and young men. Perhaps you can give your dh a few books with appropriate pictures and pray with him about how to have the "talk" with your ds. I would not wait much longer. A lot of things happen to those bodies during puberty. Young boys need to be forewarned about feelings they are going to be hit with, as well, and how to bounce their eyes and redirect their thoughts. I'm not in the "wait til it happens" club, but that's a personal decision. Pray about what is best for your family.
2018/19: US1877
used MFW from K through WHL

gratitude
Posts: 677
Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 11:50 am

Re: The ... Topic

Unread post by gratitude » Sat Sep 28, 2013 10:11 pm

My kids are 10, 8, 6,& 4. I have been wondering though when to 'talk'. I want them to learn about it from us. I didn't learn until almost 13 from a book (not a method I would advise), and it just seems today it is too rushed. I was ready to hear it though at that age. A friend gave me the book, and any talk is going to be better than that for teaching God's ways on the subject.

I agree with Melissa to pray first. Melissa shared some very wise advice on this issue. Thank you Melissa...it sounds like very wise advise to follow and similar to the advise I was given by a mom of 9 who is successfully launching young adults who love the Lord and are waiting.

I have wondered though if we need to start easing in at some point over the next couple of years with our 10 year old. As his body changes it seems important.

Mom2theteam
Posts: 184
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:33 pm

Re: The ... Topic

Unread post by Mom2theteam » Sat Sep 28, 2013 10:33 pm

gratitude wrote:I have wondered though if we need to start easing in at some point over the next couple of years with our 10 year old. As his body changes it seems important.
I'm thinking if by God's grace we make it to 10 without my oldest asking that it will be time to start thinking about easing into it. Their bodies are going to start changing. It happens earlier than it used to. I want them to understand it. I also feel that at some point, it becomes imminent that someone else will say something even if we are keeping them close and monitoring friendships. I don't know exactly when, but I'm thinking by 12, but probably we'll start laying down the clues sometime around 10-11ish. Still though, even then, I want to keep it very light and basic. I'd like them to be closer to 12 before really delving deep.

I don't think we are going to make it that far though. My oldest has asked some probing questions. A couple times, I've had to deflect if for no other reason than because the timing was bad for answering. He is very into animals. He will often see two bugs mating and say "they are marrying. They might have babies." LOL!! I'm thinking we aren't going to make it to 10. But, I hope we do. My husband and I were just discussing this tonight. We plan to continue to avoid and deflect for as long as possible for now. He is still too young, IMHO.

With my oldest still just about to turn 8, I really don't know what age I'm going to feel God leading us to this discussion. Right now, I want to wait till they are 20, but of course, that isn't realistic. LOL!!

I'm so glad we homeschool and have the choice to wait. My life long BFF had to go into this in 2nd grade when her daughter was barely 8 because it was clear she was going to learn it in school. I'm happy mine are home! :-)
Heather
Wife to an amazing man
Mom to 6, ages 10, 7, 7, 5, 5, 3
Zack, 10 CtG
Samantha & Blake, twins, 7, CtG
Matthew & Joshua, twins, 5, MFW K
Nicholas, 3 derailing and tagging along

marmiemama
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2013 6:33 am

Re: The ... Topic

Unread post by marmiemama » Thu Oct 03, 2013 11:07 pm

Just jumping in here with a few words of advice I had gotten a few years back..."tell them before someone else gets the chance to tell them something that is your privilege/responsibility as a parent. They will hear it sooner than you think, from a friend maybe even in Sunday school." I've also heard how children that grow up on farms already know way before "city" kids! ;)
Some words that I've used are that "God has perfectly made a man and woman to fit together just like a hand and a glove". Or "it's a special time that a mommy and a daddy share together in private to make a baby".
I also agree with another poster about moms talking to girls, and dads talking to boys. Great advice!
Blessings,
Lisa
May the Lord bless your day abundantly!
Lisa...wife for 21 years to my wonderful Gerard
mama to...
Eloise...graduating 2014!
Sophie...10th Notgrass
Lily...7th Notgrass
Ruby...6th Notgrass
Joshua...K (MFW K)

jasntas
Posts: 469
Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 6:10 pm

Re: The ... Topic

Unread post by jasntas » Fri Oct 04, 2013 11:24 am

My dh and I have always tried to keep the discussions open so that our kids feel they can come to us with anything, including the sensitive topics. We have always openly and in a mater of fact manner discussed these sensitive subjects. If our kids asked, we may have given a short answer at the time due to circumstances or told them we would discuss it later, and then we did.

My ds played little league when he was in 2nd grade. During a game one of the kids in the dugout was telling dirty jokes. My dh then felt he needed to address the things that were said because my ds had many questions. Since then, my ds has felt free to discuss these topics with his dad. It was earlier than we would have liked but he has since asked his dad many questions that have lead to some great father and son times together.

My dd has occasionally asked me questions over the last few years. A couple of years ago she wanted to know specifically how the baby gets out of the mommy. So, I told her. It ended up being a beautiful discussion even though I wasn't comfortable. But I felt it was best I told her rather than leave her to try and figure it out on her own. She was very satisfied with the answer and I was glad I didn't try to skirt the issue.

Last school year we did RTR and we used the book The Wonderful Way Babies Are Made when scheduled. I wasn't sure if I would include my dd but, even at an early 9, she was ready and I'm glad I did include her. I read the book to both of them except I left out the most sensitive parts. For that, I privately discussed this with my dd and my dh privately discussed it with my ds. My ds felt like it wasn't anything he didn't know but really liked the follow up from another Christian perspective. My dd really seemed to enjoy it and felt it answered a lot of her questions. She felt very proud and 'grown up' and she even proudly carried the book around for a couple of days after.

We try our best to protect them but we both also come from families that live rough lives. They frequently say and do things that we just cringe at. We believe that it's better that we discuss and explain these things from a Christian perspective and explain how God created us to be but we also explain how a lot of people prefer to pervert God's intended purpose and live according to their own will and desires. Our children have unfortunately seen the negative effects of peoples' wrong choices but they also know the truth from a Biblical perspective.

I also wanted to add...My dh and I both came from a background of negative thoughts and experiences regarding this subject. In my family, the subject was never discussed. If discussed at all, it was always from a negative perspective. My dh grew up with older brothers that introduced him to things he regrets being introduced to, especially at a young age. So, we both decided early on that we wanted our kids to have a right perspective from the beginning of all the beautiful gifts God has blessed us with.

These are just our experiences. Every family is different with different experiences and will discuss these topics when they feel it is needed. HTH
Tammie - Wife to James for 27 years
Mom to Justin (15) and Carissa (12)
ADV & K 2009-2010 . . . RTR (again) & WHL 2016-2017
http://tammiestime.blogspot.com/
The days of a mother are long but the years are short.

sbbrown425
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:01 pm

Re: The ... Topic

Unread post by sbbrown425 » Mon Oct 21, 2013 2:39 pm

Just want to thank everyone for their comments. It is a blessing to homeschool and a blessing to have this forum.
Blessings to all!

abrightmom
Posts: 56
Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2011 7:17 pm

Nudity in art books

Unread post by abrightmom » Thu May 08, 2014 4:30 pm

joyfulmom wrote:It's pretty much a given that if you get an art book, there will probably be some nudity in it.

For those who want to cover things up - what is the best way to do so?

Sharpie marker would forever change the picture.
Sticky paper could be removed by curious children.
Are there other options?

I have a teenage boy in the house - the world offers enough of that. And I have several kids 8-15 years that would probably focus too much on "that person has no clothes on" rather than focusing on the art itself. So rather than being a stumbling block to my kids, I want to cover things up. But how?
Well, I think Sharpie is the best solution. :) It's kinda fun to put clothes on the nekkid people in the books …. I use a black Sharpie. Honestly, I see no reason to be concerned about forever altering the pictures/photos. In the future, if one wants to have an art book with the pictures unchanged then it would be time to repurchase and store the Sharpied Book away for the grand babies.

Completely Random Tidbit:

My 4 year old is currently obsessed with a book called In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak. It's a WEIRD book and the main character is Mickey, a little boy who takes an imaginary visit to the Night Kitchen. Half the time he is naked and I'm sure that is half the appeal of this crazy book! :-)
-Katrina-

DS15, DS14, DD12, DS8

Julie in MN
Posts: 2925
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 3:44 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: Nudity in art books

Unread post by Julie in MN » Fri May 09, 2014 9:07 am

I have used sticky labels - the kind that's sticky all over, not just on the edge. My son tended to be embarrassed and appreciated that.

However, I know if you have a group of boys, that's a whole different ballgame than individuals. I've been in a co-op art class that got out of hand.

For now, maybe Katrina is right, use that marker. Or even rip pages out of the book. I love books, really a lot, but we need to put our family's needs above the books. The first time I ripped, or taped, or even threw away, it was tough for me, but I felt peace about it at the same time.

I wanted to mention that God and the History of Art has a couple of lessons on how Christians can approach nudity in art. They might be lessons to revisit yearly for certain kids. Classical art is a pretty safe area to start broaching the subject, since we're usually discussing plain, regular bodies and not anything more than that. It's good to make those connections from what we learn in RTR's Wonderful Way Babies are Made and in Genesis, out into the wider world.

Blessings as you figure this out,
Julie
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
(http://www.CaringBridge.org/visit/ShaneHansell)
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs

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