Encouragement - Behind - Finding Peace and/or Catching Up

[4Truth]

I bought and started RTR in the fall... it started out well, then we hit a wall. Now, looking back and talking to the kids about what we have learned from the "little" we did of RTR.. we realized that even though it was a bit challenging, we did learn alot! So, now I really want to get back to RTR.

The problem is that I don't know where to start. We are literally all over the schedule. For example, in history we may be in week 10, but we are in week 3 for science, etc.. We never did start the Art or music, which the kids want to do.

Why do I feel as if I NEED to be on the same page/day with everything. I am thinking of having an intense week of science and Latin Roots to catch up, then maybe a week of intense art and history??? SIGH Help, what do you think?
Jen

[Editor's note: See the end of the story, below on 1/17!]

Well, you could do it the way you thought... take a week (or two) to catch up in the "behind" subjects before starting history again.

Or you could just let the science go for now and do it during the summer or at the end of RTR... sometime later... and just hold off science until you're ready to start the Astronomy study.

I had the same experience with science and I chose the "take a week to catch up" method. I considered dropping the science altogether and doing something else, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized, like you, that they got more out of it than they think they did.

We love MFW and have learned sooooo much. Don't give up! There will always be some non-exciting moments in the curriculum because, well, that's the way of life. And we ARE studying life, right? ;o)

[LSH in MS]

I would probably spend a few weeks and do science, art, and the 3 Rs.

or

For science, you could just get library books on the Body Systems and read and talk about it and call it done. My kids much prefer reading and discussing over hands-on projects.

or

You could just skip science and start again when you get to Astronomy. My dc love the Astronomy Study. So in my experience the second half of RTR is better than the first half.

I guess it depends on the age of your children, what they have done in the past, etc.

[Julie in MN]

Hi Jen,
Well, I'll add to the bunch so you have lots of ideas to try!

1. I am not sure kids will retain much if they are learning about the same thing for so many hours straight. Maybe, maybe not. But I tend towards Charlotte Mason's ideas of smaller segments for better retention.

2. Many of us end up on all different weeks in different subjects at times. I do use that knowledge to prioritize what I want to be sure to accomplish, and move forward on the other subjects as I have time.

3. AC World is one of those books that takes quite a few chapters before you get into it. I am finding that a lot of the advanced literature is that way. I personally found it was worth it, and my son got a deeper understanding of history thru it, but of course anything can be skipped.

4. True confession: My mil and I cut out the skeleton for ds. He does not like cutting or coloring. But he did put it together & found the skeleton interesting, as well as a nice conversation starter with his friends LOL. You might all do just one skeleton for the family and reduce the cutting that way.

5. The "light Friday" gives you a lot of flexibility. When I was "catching up" in RTR, I used the light day to get my son caught up on things like Latin roots, Art, and science experiments. I also used bedtime for read-alouds and Bible at times.

6. For each item on the grid, just put the date you accomplished it. Anything not dated is not done yet. Speaking from experience (we are on week 32 of RTR, after starting in September 2006), it will all work out. Focus on God and let Him bring you peace. And by the way, I think the second half of RTR has been my favorite, too!

Julie

[momtoaaa]

Hi.. I just wanted to give an update on our progress...

First, I want to encourage everyone out there, like me, who may have had a slow start, or who have ran into a few snags. I have come to realize that "the perfect program" does not exist... although, MFW comes pretty close!! LOL Well, I picked up my teachers manual and just started off where we left off on each and every subject. It is going so well. Sometimes we do a whole week of science in one day, because the children beg for more. Also, I don't think they realized that we had been doing MFW again.. and they made a comment at dinner that they have been really enjoying school the past few weeks!! This was a huge sigh of relief!! I told them that I am sticking to MFW.. period. They love it, I love it, and we look forward to the coming MFW years!

Thanks again,
Jennifer

[pegasus4]

Ladies I feel so behind with homeschooling this year. I am doing 1st grade with my daughter and here it is Dec 16th and we are only Day 33..sad i know..it just seems like so much has happened once we started school..in September my daughter was hospitalized for a ruptured appendix and then in Nov I had my son Mason and then 2 weeks ago I wrecked my car with all three of my children in there with me! and now the Holidays are here...

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 12:42 am

A suggestion... try not to worry too much about what day you are finally finishing, but rather what skills your daughter is working on and accomplishing.

Make a list of the skills for 1st grade for reading and math, as well as having a positive outlook about learning. Spend time, really being with your children reading to them or working on something in the floor- this is one-on-one time which most children in school don't get. Try to work on those skills each day, along with readings from a good Children's Bible or your own while your children color a page relating to that story. Count it a blessing when something else gets accomplished and take it easy on yourself.

God bless you and your family and may you have a peaceful Christmas time.
Kate in GA

[Suzq]

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 7:25 am

Who or what would you be behind? I have had to tell myself that many times over the years.

Your daughter is learning every day. How to take care of a baby,house and children. Great life lessons. You are building a relationship with your children and that is what counts.

I will tell you story that my uncle told at our Christmas party the other day and maybe that will encourage you. He said there was a girl (a refugee her whole childhood life) who did not start her schooling until 17. She learned to read and write and she graduated with honors from college. She is now going with my uncle to set up a medical clinic in Sudan. So she learned everything she needed in just a few short years. He told this story as a mission story not homeschooling story but I took it as an encouragement for homeschooling.
Blessings,

[ChristyH]

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 8:18 am

When my twins were born pretty much everything school stopped except for reading aloud. My dd is almost four years older and teaching her to read was very haphazard at best. Things slow down and time goes on. Seven years later and my dd learned to read and everything turned out okay.

[cbollin]

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 12:00 pm

I wouldn't be too concerned about catching up, as much as making sure you are moving forward. The difference is "don't rush the curriculum", but continue to teach your child.

This may be a time to get extra help. Ask at church if there is someone who can come over to help with chores or pick up something at the library for you. Maybe there is a homeschooled teen in your local group that can help babysit while you teach for one hour. Or maybe a teen who could be a temporary substitute teacher while you are on maternity leave for a couple more weeks. Maybe you and your husband can take turns teaching during the day (based on his schedule of course). Remember that MFW 1st grade program can be broken up to do done throughout the day in small portions.

Don’t add anything to the 1st grade schedule right now. History is included in 1st grade. Do the basics of the program. And keep moving forward.

When my oldest was in 1st grade, I also had a 3 y.o who we were just getting started in language development therapy and I had just given birth to child #3. I had plenty of times where my oldest was the one holding the book while I read out loud. Plenty of times where "school" was done at the kitchen table, with baby in my sling or in the high chair. And times where my husband would finish it up in the evening for us. Keep moving forward.

-crystal

[mgardenh]

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 9:49 pm

Dad here hope that''s ok. You doing just fine. Your daughter is learning so much just by being with with you. Grant it we did not start mfw till november but were only on day 25. I do not think it matters what day you're on. If your daughter were in school she would have missed most of the stuff anyway. This way you get to have her around during a wonderful but exhausting time. One idea (which we do because we have so many appointments a week) is to take it with you. I take the day's work with me and we do it at doctor's offices, hospitals, grandparents', and more. It is so compact and easy to take with you.

[kellybell]

Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:52 pm

Isaiah 40:11 in the NIV says:

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.

You are his precious lamb.

[MJP]

Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 8:47 am

Remember, toward the back of the first grade program it says that the New Testament portion can be saved for second grade. We did that.
When you take those days off, it will strengthen your position in the curriculum anyway.

Also, the years I had a newborn where the hardest. My oldest is 14 now, and I can assure you it will all even out over the years. Kelly's verse is one I have comforted myself with often over the years.
Melissa

[LoveBaby]

Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 12:06 pm

My DD is soon to be 8 and would be in 2nd grade in PS. We are on track to finish 1st in the next month. She's finally caught onto reading and enjoying it and now we're focusing a lot on math.

Is she behind? I suppose technically she is, but you know what...this isn't technically, this is real life. She is a lovely young girl who adores her siblings, loves to read aloud to them, play with them organize arts and crafts. She builds forts, plays house and thinks cleaning the bathrooms and washing the dishes is "fun"! She a joy to be around and adored by everyone she meets and that has nothing to do with math or reading. ;) You can always catch up on reading/math etc., but the days you spend together as a family enjoying each other, learning about life and relationships is truly priceless!!

Anyway...give yourself a pat on the back for being a brave mama to keep these precious gifts at home and teaching them! This is no small feat, to be sure, but since God has called us to it, He will provide for us.

One thing I've decided is to let go that we're not doing well if we aren't doing *every* thing in the manual. It's o.k. if we read our bible story, do our math activity and workbook.

If we don't get to the science activity, it will come around again in our schooling years and she won't be at a disadvantage. If we don't get to the art as written, that's o.k. It will also come around again (and if the vanishing ream of computer paper used to make various hats, houses, people, animals etc. is any indication then I think they are getting some art...even if I'm not directing it! LOL)

Sit down and think about what you *are* doing, and what she *is* learning and don't dwell on all the things you aren't doing. It'll make you feel a lot better and give you the mental boost you need right now!

Lots and lots of hugs!
Jesse

[Mommie25]

Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 4:44 pm

Wow thank you ladies so much for all your encouraging words! I am in tears right now reading this as God has truly used you all to speak to my heart! I am so truly blessed and thank you for allowing Him to use you to show me that! You ladies are awesome and I don't know what I would do without you!! You just don't know how blessed i am by your words and thoughts!! may God richly bless you all!!

amanda:)

[4littlehearts]

This week we are reading about the swearing in of the first President of the US in week 11 of Adventures. I think it was kind of neat that this week, actually today is Inauguration Day as well.

It seems fitting that we fell behind in Adventures so that the week lined up well with the events of this week.

[tiffany]

I need some advice. The first four weeks went well, right on schedule. However, for the last 7 days, our entire family has been down due to the flu and strep. The kids were really bad, so of course we took off five days last week. This week we are getting better but very weak and tired. We have read some History and Science, but that's it. We were supposed to be on week 6 this week, and we are currently on day three in week 5.

We are now a week behind. How do you get back on track when falling behind? I'm not concerned about English and Math. It's the History and Science that worries me. There is sooooo much reading that the kids are getting overloaded. Any suggestions? We are doing Ex to 1850 ( 2nd, 3rd, and 8th grades) Kindergarten and preschool.

Sandi,
We must have the same thing you have. I don't know about you, but I have been sick as well, which always makes things harder. My high school age daughter has managed to stay well somehow. So she has kept up with her school work.

We were starting to get behind more than we could make up in a week. So I took Bible, history and science off the table for the rest of the week. Or for as long as it takes for me to stop having coughing fits every time I read a sentence. We are still reviewing memory verses we have already learned and doing math, English and some other items the kids do independently.

I was feeling pretty discouraged yesterday. Not the way I wanted to start the school year. But take heart, "Count it all joy my brothers when you face trials of various kinds for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." Sound familiar. It's easier to memorize than apply I think. It's really more about how you respond to these situations, than how much you accomplish. I had to remind myself of these things in the shower this morning and actually thank God for this virus! Mentally it is tougher to get sick at the beginning of the year than later. But in reality, you guys were probably going to get these infections sooner or later. Maybe you'll be able to avoid getting sick over the holidays this year. Use this time to teach your kids how to tend to the sick, how to react to people in a loving manner when you don't feel well (still tough for me I must admit.) You get what I mean. Life is always going to offer setbacks. Don't let the enemy discourage you.

This is meant to be an encouraging pep talk. Believe me, I struggle with all these same sorts of things. I was on the verge of tears yesterday, but crying increases the nose running and coughing- so none of that!

Standing in the trenches with you,

[TriciaMR]

When my kids are sick, we just stop. We veg out, relax, and then pick up where we left off when we get better. Our state requires we track hours/days, but we start when we start, and finish when we finish. If your state requires you to submit a plan (with start/stop dates), then I would pad those a BUNCH. Last year, my dd got really sick (she had pneumonia at one point), so we completely stopped until she was better. It meant we missed about 2.5 weeks of school, and we ended up schooling until the end of May to get our "days" in. But, we were never "behind," we just were where we were.

-Trish

[cbollin]

How do you get back on track when falling behind?

I don't think that right now you are behind because the whole family was sick. You just took fall break much earlier than you otherwise would have. So if it were me in this situation, I'd just pick up one day at a time and call myself in week 5. I might do some readings in the weekend days and pick some stuff to not do to get back into working strong after illness and keep marching forward. ((hugs)) and glad you're feeling better. Doubling up on reading in some sections of year 4 is hard.

****
because I feel like typing....
for the more general question of "how do you get back on track when falling behind" ......
Take from the rest of my post what works in your family. Ignore the parts that don't.

In my family we realize that public schools and private school require kids to make up stuff. So we blend that with the fact that we are tutoring our children. We don't push it to catch up to where the teacher is, or what week of school it is on a calendar. But at the same time, we make some adjustment to press forward. It is possible for homeschoolers to be behind if they aren't moving forward. Illness -- people get sick. That's different. and you are moving forward!

Yes, there is of course a measure of grace that we give ourselves especially if someone had been ill. They might need a few extra days to play catch it up

so.... Vacations and scheduled breaks might get shifted. instead of taking off all of Thanksgiving, you might have to plan to do a little bit of school that week to get "caught up" or make up work.
and we try to go more year round so that days and hours and all of that are "banked" so that when real life hits, we have time for real life.
and occasionally, we'll double up on some lessons to get a bit more done that day or have weekend lessons too.
light and independent friday might be used for a full day.
None of us are really saying that we should just blow off our responsibilities. We're just realistic that we can't always do 2 weeks worth of MFW in 1 physical week and there really isn't a need to do that.

When we got off track this last month due to having to drop stuff and deal with closing a house 500 or so miles away this is what helped us to get back on track.

1. We start early in the school calendar year. This year we knew we were moving. We started in July. boom! 2 months ahead already and that gave us the freedom to bank some days. (sorry, I borrowed that line from David Hazell in one of his workshops. The chaos one I think.....hee hee.) I knew it would be chaos during August. I didn't anticipate my mental exhaustion and inability to teach or supervise. But, we were already plugging along. So, maybe your school year might extend a few days here and there, or a holiday might become a school day.
2. My husband had to take over and help us get it done on weekends. He's the hero in this one. Go John! LMy dh really stepped up the last 2 weeks to read to the kids, check the lab reports, grade the math test, etc.
3. Dropped outside commitments for a few days to get more done. We still went to church and saw a few sites around the city. But I delegated a lot.


I don't know if you have an umbrella school that requires a certain number of days by a certain date on the calendar. If so, grab some weekends and do the minimum needed.

-crystal

[sandi]

HI Sandi, (cool name, mine is Sandi too! )
I have done this before and stressed myself out about trying to catch up! I know how you feel. I have just learned to enjoy everyday and do what we can. It's okay to be alittle behind. Your not really behind anyway. Just think of the great things your kidos have learned compared to the public school kids. They are learning way more of the stuff thats important about our awesome God! Soooo really they are way ahead! I will pray that the Lord will give you a peace like He did me. You are doing a great job, and how awesome that their mama was home with them taking care of them during their sickness. One time a friend shared with me that sometimes the trials we go through is school enough! What lessons we learn just from life. Have a great day and enjoy your children! Hang in there and pray for me that I will do the same.
His Child,
Sandi

[Julie in MN]

I agree with the others. But for your 8th grader, here are some things we do to get more done:

1. I go thru the manual and pencil out a few activities & such that I decide aren't crucial. We're "done" with those
2. I pencil out some of the light Fridays and just start the next week, instead of having a relaxing day at the end of the week.
3. I move activities & games to the afternoon & try to move some book-learning into each day, even if it isn't scheduled, so sometimes we're doing two days in one (the reading day in the a.m. and the activity day in the p.m.) -- but we're still not doing overkill.
4. I've summarized on occasion & let book basket flesh out some of the topics that didn't seem crucial to me. There is some review built into MFW topics, so that will help, too.
5. I play music while we're doing art, or in other ways double up on tasks if I see an opportunity.
6. I've done school-lite during the early part of the summer, if we missed a LOT during the school year.
7. I've gone off schedule, so we don't finish a program in the spring. If the math & English is on par, then IMHO, MFW is rich enough to spread the the history & science a little thinner over more months, up until high school. We just started our 8th grade school year this week, in the middle of week 17 in my 1850MOD manual.
8. I've stopped myself from adding any extras whatsoever for a while

Just some ideas.
Julie

[Mtdrew]

Wow! You all are so uplifing. Thank you thank you! The good news is that we live in Texas and do not have to track our hours. I was trying to stick to the lesson plan-schedule.

Because we do live in Texas, we start the year early, the second week in July when it really starts to get hot. Then we are finished in the Spring around the first week in April. Just in time for great playing outside weather. I was trying to get done a little early this year because we are going to vacation in San Antonio in April. It should be perfect for the 1850 to Exp. unit. We are going to see the Alamo which follows our History lessons. Then we we're going to Sea World, which would actually be perfect for this weeks study on aquatic mammals. Anyway. . .thanks for the encouragement. I do think Satan likes to discourage me from time to time.

After our first memory verse (James 1:1) we started having all sorts of things go wrong. Our dog broke her leg, the T.V. went out, the A/C went out, the cows ran out of water, and then we got sick. The antiviral meds have taken up half of our vacation fund. Every morning when I really wanted to just give up, we would go over our memory verse "Count it all joy. . ." What better way to teach the kids. If it wasn't for our Bible studies, I think I would have lost it by now.

Thanks to this message board. .. I can hang in there a little longer.

I think tomorrow, we will continue to read History and Science. The kids find this week very interesting. We'll just pick up the others when we get well. We will skip some activities and do more on Friday light days. I'm sure this won't be our last illness this year:)

God Bless,
Sandi

[Cyndi (AZ)]

You've already had 4 "perfect" weeks and you're letting yourself worry about being behind?!!! (Exaggeration intended, because I'm crazy.) We had so much "life" happen last year that we are now on track to finish ADV on Sept. 23rd so we can start ECC on Oct. 5th. How's THAT for behind?

I used to be an engineer that did project planning. I'm the kind that writes dates in my TM at the start of the school year with perfectly planned breaks for family fun and games. Ha! I mean I used to be that type. Now I put the date on the grid when we actually do the work. I do not recommend having the kind of year we just went through, but my dd still learned a ton and thought ADV was fabulous and her notebooks are awesome keepsakes. It's just time to draw a line in the sand and have a better year - staying "on schedule" but being flexible. And I have definitely learned not to beat myself up over it. I don't condone "slacking off," but I do promote giving oneself room to fail and grace to move forward.

I don't know if you get anything out of that - it's just my story, and it's still early here. Just me, my dog and my coffee for a little while longer - before we work on "last year's school."


Postby Cyndi (AZ) » Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:17 am
For some reason, I couldn't edit my above post. I just realized how it could be taken in a way not intended - I should have had more coffee first! I meant to share that giving yourself grace and accepting that "you are where you are" has been a good lesson for me. Taking time off for illness is in no way failing! It is just part of life. And we certainly don't control life - God's in charge and He knows what you're going through and is not surprised by it at all. I've had some really hard times this past year and just felt like letting it out - I hope nothing I said offended anyone!

[tiffany]

Cyndi,

You didn't offend me. I love it when Christians can be honest about their life. We need to hear about the good times AND the bad. It is great to hear about the ideal homeschool life, but we can't forget reality. After having two relatively successful on track years with ECC and CTG, we hit the wall with RTR. I was struggling with a series of health issues that came one after the other, and we had to spread RTR over 2 years. On top of that, I felt we lost time on character, discipline and spiritual development.

So I was really ready this fall to dig in and get back to a more "normal, predictable, disciplined life" and we got the flu 2 weeks in! After some self-pity and frustration, we made necessary adjustments and will get back on track and keep moving forward. I really can't spend another year drowning in circumstances. It would be great if the parents who are following this thread could spend some time praying for their fellow MFW moms and dads who are struggling to start the year off. I plan to pray as soon as I sign off.

[mgardenh]

So what do you do when one or two of your h/sing children are sick? What do you do with the healthy children?
Joshua and Toby are sick today, so with my 3rd grader Abigail, I just did reading, Book basket, math, cursive and Bible, skipping history today bc I don't want my younger child who is doing adventures with her to get behind. How do you handle days like this?

When my kid or kids are sick we don't usually do anything for school. We school year round so I don't worry about it. In public school your kid misses that day and makes up some of the work. So it's entirely up to you as far as what you do.

Usually when my kids are sick they are really sick and it takes everything I have to care for them and house and chores.

[DS4home]

When I only have one sick child, I call it a half day for everyone else. The rest of them still have their individual work such as math, grammar, reading, instrument practice, etc. When the sick one is on the mend and able, I'll have them sit in on Bible and history reading so we can move forward a day. Then let them lay down and rest while everyone else continues with their day. Sometimes it depends a bit on how sick they've been, and how long the recovery is. It could be a few days before they are doing a full day's work again, we ease back into it.

Dawn

[kellybell]

Sorry you are dealing with sick kids. No fun for them or you. MFW is written so that Fridays are light and usually it's easy to make up missed days without having to go into the summer or Christmas break or whatever.

We've got four kids. When one is sick, the others continue with individual work -- things that they do on their own level. We don't do any "together" work that includes the sick kid.

When everyone is well again, then we press on. As for falling behind, we might:

1. Skip the optional things until we are caught up.
2. Double up on one subject a day (one day we might do two history readings, the next day double up on Bible, and the next on art or music). We might skip book basket on one of these days and I use the time to read to them or whatever. Often, if I decide to double up, I'll not do both days worth of reading or work at one time. Maybe I'll read a little in the morning, and a little more in the afternoon.
3. Make Friday not so light.
4. Substitute. Instead of reading about someone or some event, we might watch a Nest video on it (just an example).
5. Read but not do. If we're supposed to copy a drawing in our art book, maybe we'll just look at that original and talk about it, saving us 20 mins. or so.
6. Cut out extras like having friends over, cooking time-consuming dishes, and such until caught up. You'll want to continue with outside classes as much as possible (orchestra, dance, sports) since you most likely missed things -- but optional things can wait until you are caught up (then again, if you have cabin fever too, it might be good to take that field trip to the zoo).

Within a week or two, we're back where I want to be.