Encouragement - When stressed, discouraged

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baileymom
Posts: 123
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Location: South Carolina
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Encouragement - When stressed, discouraged

Unread post by baileymom » Thu Sep 11, 2008 2:47 pm

Homeschooling Today Magazine

I've been noticing a common "theme" in some of the recent posts...a lot of us seem overwhelmed and stressed.

I'm a first year homeschooler, about 6 weeks in (and first 11 wks CTG last Fall), and things have just been, well, weird lately. The message board has been awesome help, I didn't use it last yr.

Another real eye opener for me this week has been this months "Homeschooing Today" magazine. It is my trial issue and it is based on Psalm 127 (I don't know, do they base each issue on a bible verse)?

It really helped me (along with a lot of veteran homeschool mom's posts, thanks ladies :) see that it is all about raising our children to know Jesus and live their lives walking with Jesus. Our home life must be based on this one thing. All the academics come 2nd to that.

Mine came in the mail Monday afternnon. If I hadn't signed up for the trial issue with my own two hands, I'd have thought God mailed it to me himself as a little note to encourage me.

Just wanted to share, I think maybe a few other mom's would really enjoy it right now.

P.S. I'm pretty sure you can read it online at homeschoolingtodaydotcom, just click on the sept/oct 08 issue. But it's worth ordering too! Good luck, I know things will get easier once we all get the swing of things. And even on a bad day, at least we were home with our children, raising them ourselves.
Kathi - graduated 1, homeschooling 6, preschooling 2, growing 1

Cyndi (AZ)
Posts: 543
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 4:22 pm

Unread post by Cyndi (AZ) » Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:57 pm

cbollin wrote:Thanks for the heads up. I was just briefly looking through the articles and really clicked with the article called Constructing a Simple Household Routine written by Marilyn Rockett. author of Homeschooling at the Speed of Life (roughly p. 19 of the magazine). I've never read her book. never heard of her until just reading this article. She talks about an approach to household stuff that is right there in the way that my brain can do it.
I actually read that article out loud to my dh in the car after we picked up the magazine in the mail. We both really liked it, expecially the grid idea. That fits our life so much better than having everything fall into a half-hour chunk of time. It's kind of like organizing your homeschool day - these things need to get done, but when you do them can be flexible, as long as they actually get done! :-)

(Am I the only one that was tempted to yell at the Fly Lady? )
2018/19: US1877
used MFW from K through WHL

dhudson
Posts: 320
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 5:46 pm

So discouraged

Unread post by dhudson » Mon Nov 17, 2008 11:09 am

Leah OH wrote:I am becoming so discouraged with homeschooling. We are having more bad days than good and my dd is being very disrespectful. She is Kindergarten. I also have a ds who will be doing Kindergarten next year, so I have to figure this out soon. BTW, this is my firt time homeschooling so maybe I just don't have what it takes. I think it is doing more harm than good to our relationship. Has anyone else ever felt this way? What did you do?
Leah
So Sorry you are feeling that way Leah. When we start having several hard days in school (and we do) I stop and evaluate. Is this about school or about behavior? Are my children obeying right away? Am I allowing them freedoms that they can't handle? Am I stressed and making it more difficult for them? Am I pushing them too hard? After asking the hard questions, and sometimes asking them, then I make a plan of action. If it's about behavior then we stop school and work on behavior. My kids hearts are more important than their academics and we aren't going to get academics done until their hearts are right anyway. If it's academics, slow down and re-evaluate what you are having them do.

It's sounds a bit like you are having behavior issues, so I would stop and work on that. There are plenty of great parenting books out there - Crystal mentioned one. I like Shepherding a Child's Heart and Childwise - but you can always use your MFWK as well. Try skipping over to H - I think. I obey. Work on first time obedience. We played the obedience game when mine were younger. I hide and then call each child by name. They have to come right away and say ,"Yes. Mom". when they come and find me, I give them a treat. Play this for fun a couple of times and then tell your daughter that's what you expect when you giver her an instruction. A "Yes, Mom" and first time obedience. Make up a fun reward chart and explain each time she obeys she gets a sticker and after so many stickers she gets a treat. If she doesn't obey have firm consequences. Work on it for a week and you'll be surprised what happened to your child's attitude.

You can sing Eph 6:1 to to the tune of Happy Birthday to help memorize that verse to help your child remember that this is God's plan - not yours. God wants your daughter to be obedient too. I can't imagine that sending your daughter to school will help make her MORE obedient.

Just a couple of things that work for me and mine. Thanks for allowing us the privilege of having a say!
God Bless,
Dawn
http://www.shiningexamples.blogspot.com
blessed Mom of three - 16, 13 & 13
happy user of MFW since 2002

TracyLee01026
Posts: 23
Joined: Fri Jun 02, 2006 9:22 pm

Unread post by TracyLee01026 » Mon Nov 17, 2008 12:58 pm

I can't imagine that sending your daughter to school will help make her MORE obedient.

I agree with Dawn. This sounds like a matter of the heart--your dd's heart. Around here we deal with heart issues using scripture. I look up scripture that addresses whatever the heart issue is, then read the scripture to the child, and then we pray together. Your dd needs your help and you need God's help. She is not going to get that kind of help in public school. If anything, she will get worse. Public schools are notorious for breeding disobedience in children, among other things. Leah, my family will pray for your family. Don't give up on your daughter. You are her only hope. Don't give up on yourself. God has already equipped you to do this! You CAN do it!
Love,
Tracy
P.S. Check out Preparing the Way Ministries at www.gingerplowman.com.
There are many helpful materials here, including "Don't Make Me Count to Three" and "Wise Words for Moms" (which I have--very good.)

my3boys
Posts: 149
Joined: Thu Oct 25, 2007 12:50 pm

Unread post by my3boys » Mon Nov 17, 2008 1:07 pm

I don't know anything about your situation, but thought I'd share my experience just in case it helps. My almost 7yo ds is doing K with my Kindergarten age child. I struggled through K (different programs) twice with him and ended up stopping about half way through each year because he wasn't picking up very much of the material and he was just generally uncooperative. I couldn't tell if he wasn't ready for school or if he was just being willful. Each time we stopped doing a K program, we took a step back and did what I consider to be pre-school kind-of stuff (fingerplays, picture books, etc.).

This year we started MFWK, and it was a little rocky at first, but still better than before - it also helped that his brother was in it with him and so there was a little 'peer pressure'. At first I had to let him only write a couple letters, or only one worksheet - after a couple of months he is asking to do more worksheets then assigned (even on Saturdays) and he is finally picking up the material. It did turn out that there were some underlying reasons for his delays, so in hindsight I'm glad that I did not push it as an obedience issue - but that's hindsight, I certainly wasn't sure I was doing the right thing at the time.

I tried to keep in mind that some homeschoolers don't even start formal schooling until their kids are 7,8,9, even 10yo. Maybe take a break from the formal schooling and just try doing things with her that you know will be pleasant for both of you - go for hikes and look at nature, go to the library, read picture books, play games, bake, whatever - at this age she will benefit more from that kind of experience than she would from any formal schooling.
Alison
Mom to 3 busy boys ages 11, 8, and 6
finished K, First, ECC, and CtG - currently using RtR

Leah OH
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 9:51 am

Unread post by Leah OH » Mon Nov 17, 2008 1:32 pm

Thank you so much for all the encouraging words and advice! I am so relieved to know that I'm not alone in this journey and that others struggle with the same things as I do. I know that putting her in school is not the answer and I agree that it will probably make things worse. I guess sometimes I expect everything to go perfectly smooth and when it doesn't I get frustrated. I need to work on behavior issues with my dd and then work on school. Thank you for helping me realize that her heart is just as, if not more so, important than her academics. That is one way I honestly had never looked at it.

Thanks again!
Leah

HSmommi2mine
Posts: 159
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 5:59 pm

Unread post by HSmommi2mine » Mon Nov 17, 2008 1:56 pm

When was the last time you took a break? The holidays are here and the seasons change and it makes everyone a little edgy. Do a craft, bake, decorate the house and enjoy your kids. At that age my dd did "school" 3 times a week on average and she is still ahead of grade level at age 7 yo.

If you do nothing in K except read good books, work on her heart and live life with her, your dd will still be fine. She will be more than fine, she will be great!

Don't stress about school, work on your relationship with your dd and enjoy both of your kids.
~Christina

Wife to my favorite guy
Mom to 3 great kids

Julie in MN
Posts: 2925
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 3:44 pm
Location: Minnesota

Unread post by Julie in MN » Mon Nov 17, 2008 2:48 pm

Niki & Leah,
I will add prayers with the others. I'm glad we have this board to help share our heart's deepest concerns for our children.

The biggest advice I can give (and often do!) is that your kids are still young. Take it from a grandma, young moms often are in more of a hurry for their kids to move ahead than their kids are. I remember one granddaughter who was asked to "just write two letters a day -- how hard can that be?" But it *was* hard for her at the time. And now at age 8, it's not :o)

Letters and numbers are abstract symbols that stand for ideas which represent sounds and amounts. That's a long way from a kid's world, even if it seems like a little thing to us adults. It all has to sink in gradually. The child has to be ready physically and emotionally to focus on such things and organize them in their brain.

Again this is a repeat for me on the boards, but I always suggest just focusing on a schedule. "Something educational" will happen during certain hours of each weekday, without fail. (And "nothing noneducational" such as cartoons.) I do think a parent must set those boundaries & stick by them. That is the first milestone of homeschool obedience, in my book.

But as for pressing a resistant child to make that "something" involve a pencil and sitting still etc., I vote for more flexibility. Reading, singing, moving in the shape of a letter, using marker boards, playing counting games, puzzles, ideas in the MFW preschool activity booklet, and many other things reach the heart & mind of a young one. I don't mean catering to her every whim and making it all fun. But offering some choices or alternating or just waiting sometimes (like my3boys).

Well, hope I'm not totally off base...
Julie


Jenn in NC wrote:Hoping that Julie will chime in with some of her thoughts about having set school hours. Her philosophy on that has helped me so much.
Posted by Julie in MN » Mon Feb 16, 2009 7:41 pm

Jenn is right -- I do feel strongly about having set school hours. Before I put anything else in place in our homeschool, I need to put the school hours into place in our lives. And after each summer of "freedom," I become convicted again that we do better on a schedule.

The specifics have changed at our house over the years, & will look different in each home. But just for illustration, I'll describe some of the issues that go into setting our homeschool hours.

When: Most years, our "school hours" have been either 9-3:30 or 8-2:30.

What: Those hours may include schoolwork, correcting or recording schoolwork, chores, a nice lunch break, field trips, charitable works, or educational games & fun stuff. But most important for us is what they do NOT include -- TV, video games, chatty phone calls, or jobs unrelated to teaching my children skills.

Why: Setting hours makes our home run more efficiently. We get school done during school hours, and we get other things done faster when not mixed with schoolwork. My child who might slop his work together does not have the incentive to get done early & go veg out. My child who was a perfectionist got less overwhelmed by knowing what the ending point would be each day. When neighborhood kids ran home from their schoolbusses, my children knew they had the exact same hours of freedom. As a mom, I felt much less pressure knowing that each day I would fully dedicate myself to my child(ren) for several hours and then I would have several hours to focus on my own concerns.

Julie
Last edited by Julie in MN on Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
(http://www.CaringBridge.org/visit/ShaneHansell)
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs

Jenileigh
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2007 12:12 am

Unread post by Jenileigh » Mon Nov 17, 2008 7:52 pm

Leah, I haven't read all the other replies but thought I would share a small bit of our story. I have homeschooled the last 7 years. My oldest graduated this year in May. My then 6th and 1st grader had simply worn me out. I also wasn't putting MY all into our homeschool. I felt so burnt out and thought that maybe I needed to just go to work or something. I felt like my work here wasn't productive, and that maybe, just maybe the grass would be greener on the other side. I mean it seems like it works well for so many, why couldn't it work for us? Oh the lies of the enemy.

We researched our local Christian School and did a trial period last May, where the girls went to their classes 3 days a week for 3 weeks. It worked beautifully and I was so tickled to be relieved of the stresses of homeschooling. Over the summer I began to mourn the change some but was determined that we would make it through this school year.

My girls lasted until the first week of October. Maybe 6 weeks. The last 2 weeks I did all I could not to pull them out but in the end, there was no doubt that we had made the wrong decision.

The problems I had with my girls didn't end because they were in school, they just transferred the behaviors to school, but they were also added to because of the situations that the girls now had to deal with. I won't go into deep details but in the small time frame of those 4 weeks Sky was bitten twice, pushed, shoved, hit with a ball, her locker was broken into twice, she was excluded from the in click, talked about and reduced to tears that poured out well into the nights. The principal did an excellent job in addressing the issues but I discovered that these issues were heart issues. Heart issues in those girls who treated Sky so badly, and heart issues in Sky who treated me so badly.

Sky didn't acquire her heart issues over night and there was no quick fix so to speak. Meadow's issues although much smaller were still just as defiant and disrespectful. The Lord has shown me that I can't fix them, but through much prayer, and feeding upon His word, that He can.

MFW created a schedule that taught us to seek the Lord early every morning. It was simple and I had heard it before but never truly disciplined myself to it. By being consistent with this for just the last 6 weeks, my girls, while they still have a long way to go, are slowly changing, and you know what? So am I.

Hang in there friend. I'll be praying for you. Your daughter is young, do not focus on the academics if it causing great problems. Seek the Lord and pray through this difficult time. Ask the Lord to show you how to creatively handle dd's disrespectfulness and how to address her heart.

Big hugs.
~Jenileigh
Daughter of the King
You can find us at
http://kingdomacademyhomeschool.blogspot.com/
Homeschooling 2 dd's
Youngest-MFW K, 1st, Exp-1850 w/supplement, moving into 1850's-Modern w/supplement
Middle Exp-1850, moving into 1850's-Modern

LA in Baltimore
Posts: 120
Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:01 pm

Be of good courage!

Unread post by LA in Baltimore » Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:14 pm

I've felt discouraged, too, at times.
Sometimes, it is one of the children's attitudes.
Sometimes, it is my attitude.
Sometimes, it is burnout.
Other times, it is loneliness.
After more than 10 years of homeschooling you would think I wouldn't get discouraged so easily, but I do. I wonder if I'm doing the best for them, if someone else would reach them in a way I couldn't, etc.

But everytime, God reminds me (often through my husband!) that this was HIS plan for our family. I CAN'T do it and that is OK. HE CAN!

I know it is a hard place to be in now emotionally, but it is a great place to remember that when we are weak HE IS STRONG.

Think back to WHY you are homeschooling and WHO called you to it?
If God did, then trust Him with the results.
That is something I am reminding myself every day! :)

God bless you as you love and train your children in the way they should go!

Only by His grace,
LA in Baltimore
homeschooling my 4 (ages 16, 10, 9, and 8)
1st year with MFW, 11th year homeschooling

Toni@homezcool4us
Posts: 122
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 4:28 pm

Unread post by Toni@homezcool4us » Mon Nov 17, 2008 11:08 pm

Yes, I have one who tends to be oppositional, if not defiant at times. Said child can also be sour and mean spirited toward others without cause. We have dealt with this issue for a very long time, and we continue to pray about and deal with it. No, it hasn't been resolved. No, it won't get better if said child heads out to school. It will just be repackaged to include behaviors and attitudes acquired in that environment. So we plug along prayerfully and do anything and everything we can to face the issue head on, day by day and sometimes moment by moment. It's not always a bad day. It's not always said child's "fault" either (my bad days bring out the worst in that child and vice versa.) Thankfully, God *is* always there, extending grace and mercy to us all. Hang in there.
Blessings!
A proud adoptive mom of 4 children,
~Toni~
I invite you to join me THE WISE WOMAN BUILDS HER HOUSE

4Truth
Posts: 334
Joined: Fri Dec 17, 2004 11:59 am

Unread post by 4Truth » Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:55 am

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."

Gal. 6:9-10 (ESV)
Donna, with two MFW graduates and the "baby" in 11th grade! %| Using MFW since 2004.

TriciaMR
Posts: 998
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:43 am

Some encouraging verses

Unread post by TriciaMR » Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:21 am

"But you, be strong and do not lose courage, for there is a reward for your work." 2 Chronicles 15:7

"... nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on Thee." 2 Chronicles 20:12b

"Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude (substitute child's name for "multitude"), for the battle is not yours, but God's." 2 Chronicles 20:15b

"... put your trust in the Lord your God, and you will be established." 2 Chronicles 20:20b

"For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen (academics), but the things which are not seen (character); for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (parentheses mine)

I found these in my stack of 3x5 cards sitting on my exercise bike this morning, and thought they might encourage you.

-Trish
Trish - Wife to Phil, Mom to Toni(18), Charlie(14), and Trent(14)
2014-2015 - AHL, CTG
2015-2016 - WHL, RTR
2016-2017 - EXP1850, US1877
2017-2018 - DE, 1850MOD
2018-2019 - College, AHL
My blog

TracyLee01026
Posts: 23
Joined: Fri Jun 02, 2006 9:22 pm

December blues...

Unread post by TracyLee01026 » Wed Dec 10, 2008 7:37 pm

I always seem to struggle in December, and this year is no exception. It is just so hectic with all the things the season brings, ie. getting together with family and friends we won't see Christmas eve or day, special youth group events, plus regular Bible studies and related events, plus speech therapy once a week and physical therapy twice a week, homeschool Christmas party, children's birthday parties (two already this month), my husband's birthday to plan (next week), dentist appointments (why did I schedule in December?), etc.
I'm barely keeping up with the teacher manual and forget the core subjects, science experiments and nature walks. We are rushing all the time. Oh--and Christmas shopping, decorating, and Christmas events of various sorts (recitals, plays, parades, etc.)
I just want to scream! Anyone else feel this way? How do you handle it
without losing your mind?
Close to insanity,
Tracy

TracyLee01026
Posts: 23
Joined: Fri Jun 02, 2006 9:22 pm

December blues...

Unread post by TracyLee01026 » Sat Dec 20, 2008 1:22 pm

TracyLee01026 wrote:I always seem to struggle in December, and this year is no exception. It is just so hectic with all the things the season brings, ie. getting together with family and friends we won't see Christmas eve or day, special youth group events, plus regular Bible studies and related events, plus therapies, homeschool Christmas party, birthday parties, dentist appointments (why did I schedule in December?), etc. Oh--and Christmas shopping, decorating, and Christmas events of various sorts (recitals, plays, parades, etc.)

I'm barely keeping up. I just want to scream! Anyone else feel this way? How do you handle it
without losing your mind?
Close to insanity,
Tracy
Hello everyone!
I couldn't wait to get here and tell you what happened. After I posted my note I thought about things and decided to focus on corrections this past week and get organized for January and enjoy the season more, but then IT happened.

Last Thurs. night at 7 pm in the midst of an ice storm, we lost power. We slept at home that night listening to cracking, smashing, and booming from outside and woke up to a mess. Ice-laden trees and branches and trees down everywhere, included two huge trees in our yard that knocked out wires to our house. The roads were a mess and we couldn't leave town right away. Our town was bad, but the next town looked like a war zone. Anyway, to make a long story short, we packed up essentials and went to stay with relatives in CT. We did not get power back until this past Thurs. at 1:30 am and got home last night at 10pm in the middle of a snowstorm that dumped 8.5 inches in the night. It is still snowing lightly today, but we are expecting another snow storm tomorrow with several more inches expected.

While the power was out, some of our pipes cracked (even though my husband drained them) and our "new" used van needed $400 work. Ok, so I learned a few things:
1. God reminded me that He is in control and He takes care of us, which He did.
2. My family is more important than all those other things I complained to you about originally.
3. I was forced to re-evaluate my priorities and put Him first, where He belongs.
4. School can wait, relationships cannot. I had a nice week with my parents and my brother.

I was teary-eyed to see all your thoughtful responses today. I thank God for each and every one of you. We are taking the time off between now and New Years and focusing on the One who loves us most.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Joyful New Year from all of us to all of you.
Much love,
Tracy and family

sandi
Posts: 38
Joined: Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:35 pm

encouragement

Unread post by sandi » Mon Jan 12, 2009 10:19 am

Just wanted to share with everyone what the Lord has reminded me this morning. This past week has been pretty tough with some different things we have had going on with the family. I have also been overwhelmed by all the stuff I need to get done. You know how it is, you make all these new year goals and start to get a bit overwhelmed. School, the house needs this and that, all the paper work sitting on my desk that needs to be sorted through, I need to exercise, eat better, the list goes on and on.

I love what God has called me to do!!! Sometimes, I can't seem to pull all my strings in and get it all done. I am constantly trying new routines and schedules to get it all done.

THe Lord reminded me this morning that This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in IT! Today is all we have not tomorrow, just today! Praise Him today, and serve Him today. Love my family, and serve them today. Just do what I can and be dilligent to ge things done today, and ask the Lord for strength to get it done with a joyful heart and not constantly weary because I can't do it all. I can't without Him!! Praise Jesus for His love for me and help. All He wants me to do is ask Him for help instead of constantly trying to find some new way of getting it all done. I praise Him for today to love my husband, and children. What a privilege to homeschool my children. I need to enjoy the ride and stop stressing so much about what I can't get done. I need to work in the power of His might and whatever I do, do it as unto the Lord!

The times in my life when I am focusing on what God wants me to get done that day instead of all the stuff I SEE around me that needs to get done, things are awesome. I needed to remember to sit at His feet every morning and committ my day to Him. Not just check off my list that I read my bible for the day. I need to ask Him for guideance.

I know this is soo elementary but so many times I need to be reminded of the basic things. I thank Him that He reminded me this morning that He will be my everything!

P.S.
I am soo thankful for all the work that MFW has already done for me!!! Just imagine if we had to write our own curriculum. My bathroom would never get cleaned! he he he

Have an awesome day!
Sandi
His Child,
Sandi

HSmommi2mine
Posts: 159
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 5:59 pm

Overwhelmed

Unread post by HSmommi2mine » Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:12 am

Get a sling for the baby and put the boys to work. How about a "when mom is busy" list? Make it on big poster board.

Things to do when mom is busy.....

pick up the living room
brush my teeth
see if my little brother needs help with his schoolwork
sweep the floor
Read the directions on my worksheet and follow them
read a book


You get the idea. btdt You will survive but school may need to be on hold for a while.
~Christina

Wife to my favorite guy
Mom to 3 great kids

Fly2Peace
Posts: 79
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2006 7:36 pm

Burned out, struggling...and we've only just begun...

Unread post by Fly2Peace » Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:10 am

Caryn wrote: I've allowed myself to let other things draw me down and take energy that I should have been using on my children :~ . How do I fix it!?!? LOL! I find myself facing a dilemma where we've fallen behind (according to my schedule, not PS or anyone else's) and I'm trying to figure out how to catch up and recover from being burned out. Any thoughts?
Caryn,
Rest in Him. Praying for you and yours. :)

We just rearranged our school area, kind of shifted the main area, moved part of a sectional into an area with good sunlight, and that is our new area for school. Our former school area was a very nice table, but not much light, and I must be one of those that requires sunlight, because it was really getting me down. Funny how such little things, like good sunlight can make a difference!!

There are starting to be signs of spring here too, as we had a robin in our yard yesterday. Right next to a pile of snow, so what a scene that was!

Just sharing silly things that help me to get back up and go when duty calls, but the body doesn't feel ready.
Fly2Peace (versus flying to pieces)

Julie in MN
Posts: 2925
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 3:44 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: Burned out, struggling...and we've only just begun...

Unread post by Julie in MN » Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:22 am

Caryn wrote:Not having any distractions at all is important to me at this point, and my hubby also suggested adding in more fun stuff outside the house. We're joining a real live co-op soon, just for the fun of it, and tweaking our school room too, so lots of "refreshing" going to happen! Thank you for praying. Thank you for your love. Thank you for your support!
Hugs from me, too, Caryn. I think we all have times of burn-out, and those times can be draining.

The thing that helps me most with homeschool is "school hours" -- (1) I do school during school hours (and try for no distractions) and (2) I don't do school during non-school hours; school needs to be done no matter what we've accomplished (junior high has meant a little homework, but not much). Both sides of that help keep my sanity :)

The things that help me most with outside activities are (1) narrowing down exactly what my goals are, (2) reaching out and sharing, and then (3) serious prayer. Sometimes outside activities come along that seem great but really meet no goals for my child and just add work for me. But while visiting those activities, I might find out about something else that is exactly what I was looking for. I find God always knows exactly what will meet our needs, and it's been amazing over the years what has fallen into my lap. And there were quiet times, too, but maybe those were for the best as well.

I hope your time of stress is short.
Julie
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
(http://www.CaringBridge.org/visit/ShaneHansell)
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs

Teresa in TX
Posts: 74
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:20 pm

Re: Burned out, struggling...and we've only just begun...

Unread post by Teresa in TX » Fri Feb 26, 2010 9:31 am

Any time I have felt what you are feeling, I go back to a verse in Isaiah that says "In repentence and rest is your salvation. In quietness and trust is your strength." Something about that enables me to drop everything, lay it down, and trust God to help me. He then helps me re-prioritize. I wind up with strength, excitement, and a new vision for homeschooling that I lacked before. I do what you are doing at different times and have to go back to the Lord to help me start over again. He is always faithful to give me vision, excitement, and clarity for why I'm doing this.
Teresa, Mom of 5: 15yo dd, 12yo ds, 7yo ds, 5yo ds, and 1yo ds

4th year with MFW
Using:
MFW 1st w/ 7yo ds
MFW RtR w/ 7th grade ds
MFW World History with 10th grade dd
So far we have used: ECC, 1850-Present, CTG, RtR, High School Ancients and MFW K

LA in Baltimore
Posts: 120
Joined: Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:01 pm

Just looking for positive encouragement

Unread post by LA in Baltimore » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:14 pm

machelmay wrote:I am a bit overwhelmed and just need to hear some, "You can do it" advice. We just moved to a new state and still are settling in. I have 4 children 3 y.o, first grade, fifth grade and sixth grade. I am due to have a baby Sept. 28th. I am trying to prepare for baby, move in and get ready for school. I have people all around me trying to convince me that I should put my children in school (offered advice as I have not really asked for it nor complained). I am, however, SECRETLY wondering how I can do it all. My parents will also be coming. I feel a need to impress, but would expect total chaos. I will be doing RTR and first grade and keeping 3 yo occupied as well as nursing a baby. Just need to get some support from my side of the story from fellow MFW home schoolers.

Machel, very pregnant, living in "we just moved clutter", keeping 4 children happy and not wanting to give up home schooling while maintaining my sanity (smile)
Praying for you!
God will guide you and be near you during this season of life.
One piece of "motherly" advice...
Just be yourself when help comes, don't try and "impress" anyone.
You'll have enough on your plate already!
I'm not sure if this would work in your situation, but you might try having the grandparents "help you out with homeschooling". They really are a wonderful resource even if they aren't so sure about homeschooling.
Only by His grace,
LA in Baltimore
Currently enjoying Rome to the Reformation
Graduated oldest May 2010, Three more to go!

TriciaMR
Posts: 998
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:43 am

Re: Just looking for positive encouragement

Unread post by TriciaMR » Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:22 pm

God bless you in this!

I would wait to starting "full" school until after the baby comes. If you feel you must do something, I'd stick to the 3 R's. Perhaps you could think of some Field Trips for the grandparents to take the older kids on that apply to RTR (A local castle? A Shakespear play? Julius Caesar would be good.) or even new places in town that they've never been to. A zoo, a state park, a conservation center, a museum or 5? Since you've just moved, they could be learning all about their new location.

And as most of the experienced moms say on here, "The baby IS the lesson." or is that "The lesson IS the baby." Either way, you get the idea.

-Trish
Trish - Wife to Phil, Mom to Toni(18), Charlie(14), and Trent(14)
2014-2015 - AHL, CTG
2015-2016 - WHL, RTR
2016-2017 - EXP1850, US1877
2017-2018 - DE, 1850MOD
2018-2019 - College, AHL
My blog

Amy C.
Posts: 202
Joined: Thu Apr 30, 2009 9:12 am

Re: Just looking for positive encouragement

Unread post by Amy C. » Mon Aug 16, 2010 5:14 pm

I am on bedrest and my mother-in-law asked my husband just last week if it was too late to put the kids in school since I have so much on me at this time. He told her that we did some school this summer, we are not on a particular schedule like the ps system, and that it was all going to be fine and not to worry. Maybe your husband can be your knight and shining armor and be the one to defend your (yours and his) decision to homeschool. Maybe you could talk to him ahead of time before visitors. Tell him how you are feeling and ask him to be "da dad" as Todd Wilson would say.

I agree that you do not have to start a full slate of school during this time. My older boys started on math today. I plan on them working on just math (and later add in LA) until after baby comes and we have recuperated. Then we will start everything else. I was back and forth about when to actually officially start school until all of this happened. Now I am at peace about it. I really have no other choice.

Life is happening with your family. Please don't stress and be overwhelmed. Do what you can and let the rest go until you can commit more fully to it. Academics are important. I don't want to make them sound like they aren't, but there is a season for everything. Right now you are in the midst of a move and growing a new life within your womb not to mention caring for your other children. I would evaluate what can be done realistically and not worry about trying to "impress" anyone. Seek to please God and not man. He is faithful and He will work it all out.

I like the advice of asking those coming to visit for help. If my mother-in-law were able (she is elderly and not in good health) I would ask her to help, and she would be more than willing. I have even thought that this next year I might have my boys read to her since her eyesight is not good anymore and she has trouble seeing to read. This would help her and my boys in their reading aloud to someone.

I try to stop up my ears to naysayers and then pray to the Father for His presence, help, and encouragement. He is always faithful!

Amy C.

machelmay
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jun 07, 2006 10:56 pm

Re: Just looking for positive encouragement

Unread post by machelmay » Mon Aug 16, 2010 10:49 pm

Thank you.. that is just what I needed to hear. Everything is going to work out, trust God and I'm not alone out here.

I wanted to add that my parents have supported me in so many ways. I can't thank them enough. They express concern only for what worries them as they want me to be okay.

I just want to make sure I can continue to responsibly educate my children while caring for my new baby and keep up. I know many of you have succeeded in similar circumstances and I can too. I just need to re-focus and keep my eyes on Jesus and remember why we wanted to home school to begin with. I guess I have had some moments of insecurity probably because of all the changes we have encountered. Anyways, I thank you for your time and suggestions.

Machel

Julie in MN
Posts: 2925
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 3:44 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: Just looking for positive encouragement

Unread post by Julie in MN » Mon Aug 16, 2010 11:14 pm

machelmay wrote:I wanted to add that my parents have supported me in so many ways. I can't thank them enough. They express concern only for what worries them as they want me to be okay.
Machel,
Parents worry about us teaching just the way they probably worried when we brought our first little one home from the hospital. They care so very much. And just like you have been ever since you had that first baby, you will continue teaching your children at home and they will continue growing in trust of you as a mom.

I have had family members help teach lessons with my kids and it has blessed them very much. Things that worked well:

- field trips to educational sites, movies or plays or children's orchestra, ethnic restaurants, learning to take the bus or light rail, walking around downtown & taking photos for the school notebook, following maps at any sites they visited
- reading Galen and the Gateway to Medicine aloud to my son
- reading Bible assignments together
- reading the science lesson and making a science notebook page about what he learned
- teaching driver's ed... oh, I don't think you have one that age yet LOL :)

Be blessed,
Julie
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
(http://www.CaringBridge.org/visit/ShaneHansell)
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs

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