Encouragement - When stressed, discouraged

Art, Foreign Language, Music, Nature Walks, as well as general ideas and encouragement
tabby
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun Feb 25, 2007 2:29 pm

Re: Need encouragement

Unread post by tabby » Fri Aug 26, 2011 11:00 am

I am sorry you are having a rough day. ((hugs)) I am praying for you, your kids, advice that will be given. All I can offer is that our family sometimes just stops what we are doing and prays about those type of days. Maybe others will have some help and/or links on scheduling with the little ones and the older? Praying...
Tabatha :)
2011-2012: RTR - dd 10, ds 7
Enjoying our 6th year with MFW

Wonderobyn
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2011 8:28 pm

Re: Need encouragement

Unread post by Wonderobyn » Fri Aug 26, 2011 11:30 am

I am sorry, I don't have any real advice for you since I only have one child. I am praying for you right now and hope others will chime in with some seasoned advice. Big (((HUGS))). May God give you peace and clarity about what actions you should take, and may He hold you and strenghten you as you take care for and homeschool your beautiful family.
Joy married to Glenn for 20 yrs
DS 6 (autism) PS PK-K Currently MFW 1st

momofsix
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2008 4:28 pm

Re: Need encouragement

Unread post by momofsix » Fri Aug 26, 2011 12:08 pm

At least every-other school year are like this for me (and portions of every school year)! It's hard making it work when you have busy, noisy little ones, especially when they are not content playing on their own.

I would definitely consider the advice of doing some things when the little ones are napping. My idea is to have the 8th grader take care of the two year old - good bonding & playtime for them - while you work with the K-er. Then you can give your attention to the three youngest while your 8th grader does their independent work. You can work with your 8th grader during the little ones' nap time. Would any of those ideas work? I think it could be adapted to the times that would work best for you.
dstj wrote:My 8th grader does most of her work on her own. I schedule stuff each week. Last year we did math and english together. This year I bought the Saxon Teacher CD to try to help. But we will be doing Apologia Science so thinking will have to do more science together than last year.
Another word of encouragement would be that I feel Apologia science is very independent work, at least it was for my son last year. The MFW lesson plans are a must! The only thing I really had to do was make sure we had the supplies each week for experiments, check the study guides (every other week), and copy the test to give out and then check it (again, eow).
Hth
Elissa in MN (really mom of 8 ) 3 boys: 16, 10, 7 & 5 girls: 13, 11, 5, 4, 1
Using: God's Creation from A to Z, Exploring Countries & Cultures, World History & Lit, Math-U-See, Sequential Spelling, Rod & Staff English...and more

Julie in MN
Posts: 2925
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 3:44 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: Need encouragement

Unread post by Julie in MN » Fri Aug 26, 2011 9:58 pm

Wow, you really have your hands full. I am so in admiration of you moms of many littles.
dstj wrote:We went swimming this week and played in the park and they loved it. This morning my 5 year old cheerfully did her chores (which doesn't happen often) and then wanted to color (also doesn't happen often). So let her do that and looks like we won't be doing "school" again today.
I am wondering if you have started your "school year" yet at your house? If you have, then here is something that works for me. I declare school hours for the entire school year. Everyone knows what time school begins, and when it ends (including mom, who is happy to know the end of her day sometimes!). Even a 3 year old can start to understand there is some unknown thing called "8 o'clock."

Now, during school hours, you might go swimming -- hey, that's phy ed! You might play board games for math.

But the thing I don't do is say, "No school today!" as if that means fun stuff only occurs outside of school. Instead, I say, "We're going swimming for school today!"

That way, you are establishing a routine in your children's lives, and you are showing them that school means fun things, too.
Julie
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
(http://www.CaringBridge.org/visit/ShaneHansell)
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs

gorillamama
Posts: 20
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:41 pm

Re: Need encouragement

Unread post by gorillamama » Sat Aug 27, 2011 12:13 am

dstj,
I am praying for you right now. You have already received some great advice, some good ideas, and lots of support, but I come from the "can't ever get enough support" camp so I am encouraging you, too :-) . We have fighting days and off days and I would think you would be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't - I'm sure you know that, but sometimes it helps to hear/read it (over and over if necessary). In addition to the many great suggestions listed, here are some things that have helped our family at times deal with school "trouble."
* Prayer. Drop everything, pray out loud, have kids pray out loud, talk to God straight from the heart.
* Make sure Mama is in the Word. When I let this slip in my life...oh, the awfulness of the day can be unbearable. When anchored in God's Word, it can help you deal with the crazy situations (you may know what these are like ... when 4 out of 5 people at the dining room table are in tears, someone has bitten their neighbor, and a chunk of hair is lying on the floor)without totally losing it.
*Try to carve out one on one time. This is hard, but even giving each child a ten minute just me and mom moment near the start of the day might make a real difference, esp if it is happening regularly.
* It might be beneficial to stretch K into 2 years and just take it super slow... esp with so many smallish ones. we have an almost 4 year old, almost 6 year old, and a 7 month old plus our 2 olders (8 and almost 10) and it has been on my heart this year (our 6th in homeschooling too :) ) to slow down a little with our school "pace" for those youngers.
* Hold (or be as close to as possible) as many babies/children as you are able (and as want to be held) while teaching/reading/helping, doing chores, etc. I don't know why but math seems to come easier, history is more interesting, reading more enjoyable, etc. when kids are near mama.
Take 'em or leave 'em...praying for you! :-)
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

gratitude
Posts: 677
Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 11:50 am

Re: Need encouragement

Unread post by gratitude » Sat Aug 27, 2011 10:25 am

Prayers. Hugs. Prayers.

This is your first year of tyring to home school 2 children, even though you have been doing it for 6 years. Trying to add in a second is a challenge! Especially when there are two other children that are younger and needing mom. When I started my second child home schooling for K I also had a just turned 3 and just turned 1. The just turned 3 and just turned 1 at the time made it difficult to add in K. So the solution I found was that I only did K 2 or 3 days a week for a year. It took the pressure off of me. Then I made my oldest home schooling the 'school' focus, and the K as in add in. I also allowed myself to focus on the character, Bible, phonics, and handwriting of the K program. I did the science too and activities, but I will admit I did not do all of them. With a 3 & 1 year old I wanted to make sure we did K, but that I kept it at a level that I could manage. My K student ds learned far more than I ever did in K and enjoyed doing school since it was primarily done on his good days. This helped a lot and achieved my primary objective for K which was to teach him how to do 'school' cheerfully. So my oldest was in 1st grade when I was doing this. I realize 8th will have different challenges.

The hardest part of home schooling for me has been trying to do 'school' with toddlers and babies in the house. My personality is challenged by this situation. I try to have them join in as much as possible. I try to give them attention before we start school with the hope they will play on their own. I tried to do it during nap time, but for me it didn't work. My boys are too far into active mode by 1 p.m. to do school; so we need to do the morning hours. I try to hold my toddler as much as possible while I teach. I have fed babies in high chairs while teaching. I feel guilty when I give them play time in their rooms, but it works. I try to make afternoons, after nap, activity focused that will allow everyone to be involved - not school activities, but outside the home or outdoor activities that they can all do. I used to always read during nap time, and I am hoping to get back to that. It is a great time for reading books aloud to the older children.

I hope something I said help. I have had some really difficult days home schooling that right now I can not remember through the fuzziness I have put around them. I know they happen and can happen, but I pray you can find some tricks that work for your kids to make most of the days positive for you. I would encourage you to take it very slow adding the second child, after all it is Kindergarten (remember play kitchens and no desks?).

Blessings,

Toni@homezcool4us
Posts: 122
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2005 4:28 pm

Re: Need encouragement

Unread post by Toni@homezcool4us » Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:55 am

A few thoughts (haven't read other responses so forgive any repeats).
As you plan your days, (and if you haven't written up at least a loose schedule, I would encourage you to consider it), try to identify a few things your oldest can truly work on independently with minimal guidance. I might plan my day with a solid hour for just the K student (because those building blocks to reading are high priority). This hour would be when my infant was down for morning nap and my oldest was assigned to interact with the 3yo (playing, working on preschool activities, perhaps even teaching her easy chores and/or preparing lunch sandwiches together and placing them in the fridge for later.) I'd hit the K lessons hard duing that hour.

I would also want a "quiet time" each day; a time where everyone heads to their bedroom to read, do a craft, play with safe toys in the crib, etc. This time could be used for one-on-one with a student who needs it, but it could also be some much needed mommy time (for nap, reading, catching up on emails, or even preparing dinner without interruptions).

Schedules jotted down are not fool-proof (life inevidibly gets in the way). But they DO guide your time better than "winging it" (unless one is a good "winger" and I most certainly am not). Timers help with keeping on schedule as well, as does identifying work that MUST be addressed during its scheduled time vs. work that can officially become "homework" when it's time to move on to the next lesson. HTH.
Blessings!
A proud adoptive mom of 4 children,
~Toni~
I invite you to join me THE WISE WOMAN BUILDS HER HOUSE

dstj
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:33 am

Re: Need encouragement

Unread post by dstj » Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:44 am

Thank you all so much for your responses - prayers and ideas. I do feel encouraged! It is so nice to know there are other people out there - and you are willing to take time to help. I have come away with some things to try.
Thanks again!

Jynuine
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 6:03 pm
Location: Portland, OR
Contact:

Re: Need encouragement

Unread post by Jynuine » Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:42 am

I started ECC during the last school year after pulling out of school mid year my then, 6th grader but had to take a break because I was expecting our 7th and had just moved. It's all exciting and scary at the same time!

So now, tomorrow, is the start of the school year here and since I am only homeschooling 2 (6th and 7th grade) I have 3 in public school (3rd, 2nd and Kindergartener 1/2 day) and then a 2 yr old and 4 mo old at home also. I have no clue how to arrange our day, but the FIRST thing I am going to do is pray about it!

Start your day off with a big, fat prayer between God and you and give over to Him everything that you feel holds you back from a smooth connection with your kids and ask for guidance. Pray for peace, serenity- love and patience, and He will give it to you!

It's funny because- I was actually looking myself for tips on how to manage everyone. Abigail who is 12 is already throwing around to her younger sister (11) how 'boring' everything was when we started and how it was all 'baby work'. Gracie is both excited to HS and also disappointed because all her friends moved on to their middle school. She was, more or less, an over achiever so getting her to work and pay attention is going to be fine- I just worry about failing to convince her that Homeschooling is better than public school. I feel like... I am unschooling her right now and having to sell it to her. I have butterflies right now and feel like Im starting a new job tomorrow and Im in the spotlight! Is it just me, or does it tug on your heart strings if your kids throw back at you that homeschooling is dumb and they wish they were in public school? It feels like a slap in the face even though they havent outright said it in those exact words.

In reading your post, it more or less allowed a chance for God to tell ME what I need, so thank you for that. :)

Always go to God first. I worry about my older one complaining and disrupting and throwing a fit while I'm teaching... I worry about bickering between the girls on who gets what and making things dramatic and harder than it needs to be rather than layed back. I worry about neglecting my 2 yr old who is at the point where she needs constant attention otherwise she redecorates my walls, and my 4 mo old who is going through a growth spurt and is literally hanging from my breast all day. But I KNOW that God wants me to be a successful mom, wife, and HE wants my kids to be loving, intelligent adults!

I'm already considering what the rules are going to be and discipline for whiners and bickerers! HAHA! Perhaps a couple of kiddos need to refresh on having their behavior be pleasing in the eyes of the Lord and need to write out a few bible verses/ memorize them? I know I am going to be spending a lot of time concentrating on ways to encourage my girls to support each other rather than throw each other under the bus!

I wish you the very best and I'll be praying for you too! -Jyn
-Jyn Meyer: New Homeschooler
Mom to Abigail (12 & HS), Grace (11 & HS), Danny (9), Jacob (8), Eva Bella (5), Emmalia (2) Justus (Born 5/11)

dstj
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2010 4:33 am

Re: Need encouragement

Unread post by dstj » Wed Sep 07, 2011 2:05 am

Hi Jyn,
I checked this again just in case someone wrote anything else even though I really didn't think anyone would have. I'm glad I did since found yours.

Now I'm thinking about you :) I hope everything goes well for you. I wanted to encourage you - we started homeschooling my 8th grader when she was in the 3rd grade. I just had a baby (my first biological) and I always knew I wanted to stay home with my children. So I stopped working - she had been in a private Christian school which we loved. But since I was not working we really couldn't afford it. I didn't want to send her to public school - so we started homeschooling - I really didn't do any research or know anyone - just decided. Well her reaction when we told her was What about my friends? She didn't want to. She continued for 2 years to ask everytime we passed by a school When am I going to go to a real school again?
When she was going into the 5th grade I was having another baby. I thought there was no way I could homeschool with my then 2 year old who was very difficult, a new baby, and a girl who hated homeschooling - now if she wanted to do it I thought we could work it out - I was still planning on homeschooling my next ones because by this time I felt like it was the best thing to do. Again I didn't want her to go to public school - we had moved to a city now that was really bad - so we put her into another private Christian school - the closest we could find to where we lived. We couldn't afford it so the money we usually used for groceries, gas, whatever else needed paid the tuition and everything else went on the credit card. After a semester of this I realized we just couldn't do that. I felt so bad because was going to change it on her again. I prayed & prayed - and when told her in the morning she was fine. This school by the way unlike the other we had been at was very "worldly." Won't go into everything now. She never had a bad experience so I don't know why (I should give God credit :) He must have changed her heart) She has never complained or asked to go to school again. In fact when we have had some hard days with her - I have doubted and asked her again - this time it would be public school - and she has always said absolutely not - she likes homeschool.

It took until last year for my 5 yr old who was then 2 to stop asking when she was going to ride a bus like she saw her sister do during that semester. But now that she is kindergarten this year she has never asked - does not even think about anything other than what we do.

So I wanted to encourage you now while you are starting out (I'm definitely not saying to send them back to school so they can see) But the attitudes did change over time for us :)

I also was convinced even more when I saw myself that semester of back to school - having to follow their rules, timetable, etc compared to having freedom - and how she had to stay up until 9, 10 pm doing homework - after leaving at 6:30, 7 in the morning - we never saw her, and all the bad stuff going on even though a "Christian" school.

I looked to see what day you had sent it since I haven't read this for awhile so I saw the time - hee hee! It was the exact same time I was reading it tonight - were you up feeding a baby like me? It is later now that I've put him back in bed, and my 2 yr old got up, and I've answered.

Well I will definitely be praying for you. Again it is so nice to know that we are all out there, not alone, and of course God knows everything for each of us.
Take care

jasntas
Posts: 469
Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 6:10 pm

Is it a bad sign that.....

Unread post by jasntas » Mon Sep 26, 2011 10:49 pm

Jmt2649 wrote:I have to REALLY think about the good memories we are making during our homeschooling journey. We are in our 3rd year. I mean, when I really sit and think it out, there are definitely more sweet, cuddly, good moments there, but I have to really think in order to come up with a list. Isn't that just going to mess our relationship up even more? Not to mention the littles who are trying hard to be obedient and really want the day to go smoothly.

I had a rough day. can you tell? Trying to remain positive,
Mary
I don't have any advice for you but I just wanted to say that I know how you feel. ((hugs)) Both my dc are dyslexic and they both fight learning not to mention they are probably a bit ADD or something because I cannot leave them alone to do the simplest of tasks. They just sit there and daydream or go to the bathroom for 10 minutes or get on the floor and play with the dog or... Especially on Mondays or after any breaks!

One of the main reasons I started a blog was to share and remind myself of the good times in our day. Even the moments that didn't go smoothly are actually good memories to all of us when I post them and we all reminisce and show dad what we've been up to.
Tammie - Wife to James for 27 years
Mom to Justin (15) and Carissa (12)
ADV & K 2009-2010 . . . RTR (again) & WHL 2016-2017
http://tammiestime.blogspot.com/
The days of a mother are long but the years are short.

gratitude
Posts: 677
Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 11:50 am

Re: Is it a bad sign that.....

Unread post by gratitude » Tue Sep 27, 2011 12:34 am

((Hugs)) I am sorry that you had a rough day. If it helps any I did too. My two oldest can be very sweet and compliant OR they can be extremely head-strong and strong-willed. Today was a 'strong-willed' day. A strong-willed day means the second born will fight dinner & the oldest will fight bed-time. The areas they like to pick for their 'testing ground'. They picked those areas at age 2, and have never changed. The bright side is the rest of the time they are fairly easy to be around.

So I do understand, as far as our area of 'testing'. I am sorry for you it is home schooling. I have a lot of great home school memories (and of course those hard days too), but it is the bed-time & dinner that makes me sad. So I know what you mean. My day-time good memories I don't have to think to remember, but the night-time ones I do - and it is supposed to be such a special time of the day. Right? Tired, hungry,.. testing..

Prayers that we both can help our strong-willed children submit their wills to the Lord, and soon.

Blessings,

TriciaMR
Posts: 998
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:43 am

Re: Is it a bad sign that.....

Unread post by TriciaMR » Tue Sep 27, 2011 8:44 am

Mary,

{hugs}... I can relate. We started out good, but by 2nd grade my relationship with my dd was in a rough patch. Then I switched to MFW, starting in ECC when she was in 3rd. If you read my blog, you can see my struggles with that. Two of my three (including my dd) are dyslexic, so some days are maddening. I will say that in ECC I really focused a lot on my relationship with my dd: trying to be patient, kind, understanding, gracious towards her. It was very hard. Things are better now, but there are still days when my short fuse gets the better of me. It took me a year to put the relationship over the academics. Even though she is now in 6th grade, there are still times when I do her writing for her, or walk her through the math pages trying to be her cheerleader, tutor and guidance counselor rather than her mother...

Keep praying and keep pressing on.

-Trish
Trish - Wife to Phil, Mom to Toni(18), Charlie(14), and Trent(14)
2014-2015 - AHL, CTG
2015-2016 - WHL, RTR
2016-2017 - EXP1850, US1877
2017-2018 - DE, 1850MOD
2018-2019 - College, AHL
My blog

jasntas
Posts: 469
Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 6:10 pm

Re: Is it a bad sign that.....

Unread post by jasntas » Tue Sep 27, 2011 11:00 am

Like Trish I had and still at times have to do the same and focus a lot on my relationship with my dc over their academics. That is not natural for me.

One thing I alluded to but neglected to mention in my post was a suggestion to make sure to take lots of pictures of the good times and even sometimes when they are not so good. Maybe start a journal (or blog) and write only about the good things no matter how small. Don't forget to add the pictures to it, too.
Jmt2649 wrote:Thanks y'all for all of your comments, encouragement, and thoughts. I think that a lot of this is God trying to show me stuff about MYSELF. If I can remain patient then it usually does not escalate but that means being patient through groanings and arguments, which as most of you are well aware, is a pretty tough thing to do. Then, I end up focusing on the negative points of the day instead of the happy times, mostly out of guilt. The Lord is truly doing work in me and preparing me for something more through this homeschooling thing, I can tell. ;)
Thanks again, Mary
Just so you know, it won't happen overnight. You will have to retrain yourself. Believe me, I know! And it's easy to fall back into old habits so you always have to be on guard especially when you are tired or stressed. The stressed one gets me every time!! :~

When I first started retraining my actions I would tell my dh that I felt fake. When I would start to react I would stop myself and then I would respond in a sweet voice. It wasn't how I wanted to respond. I wanted to yell and stomp out of the room. I felt fake because it wasn't really how I felt but eventually that changed. :)

Another trick so to speak was to respond quietly. The louder they would get the quieter I would become so that they would have to stop and listen to even hear what I was saying. It doesn't always work but, again, eventually...

Oh, and don't forget prayer and personal Bible study. Even a Proverb a day. Actually especially the Proverbs. :)

(((hugs ))) and Prayers,
Tammie - Wife to James for 27 years
Mom to Justin (15) and Carissa (12)
ADV & K 2009-2010 . . . RTR (again) & WHL 2016-2017
http://tammiestime.blogspot.com/
The days of a mother are long but the years are short.

Yodergoat
Posts: 243
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2011 2:14 pm

Having trouble with motivation

Unread post by Yodergoat » Tue Sep 27, 2011 1:46 pm

meljen wrote:It's been some time since I've visited the board. I wrote before about needing a break, and we ended up taking two months for summer. We had only barely begun MFW K & 1st together about 5 weeks prior to that. MFW is awesome but it was a lot for me to take in with only one week's time to transition from another homeschooling curriculum earlier in the year. So it burned us out really fast.

So here I am after two months of 'break' time. The kids fight almost every day. We started again at the first of September, and only have done 3 days each week only. I have been thinking about giving up and sending them to public school, but something just doesn't feel right about that. I know I won't send them there, but I just feel that my kids are so behind and the more days I take off, the worse it will be. My daughter is 8 and only about 7 weeks into MFW 1st. Our son is 6 and about the same distance through MFW K. I feel they should be further ahead. And like I said, each day I take off pushes us farther behind.

I just need to vent / talk with people who are also homeschooling. I think I've mentioned it in other posts here, but I have no local families I can talk to, and no one in my family homeschools. My hubby is very supportive, but he has to go to work every day and I'm here having to be a mother and a teacher and feeling very lackluster at both. I hope all of this doesn't come across as whining, I just need people to talk to.
I don't have any practical ideas for you, since I'm not working with two children and doing two programs. But I want you to know that in other areas of my life apart from homeschooling, I have felt that fatigue and exhaustion and then guilt from being so lackluster. I understand the overwhelmed feeling and how it is to just see each day slipping by, making the gap larger and larger and the chasm that much harder to approach. It is an awful feeling to be overwhelmed, and the guilt and doubt it causes can be terrible.

I prayed for you and your family.
I'm Shawna...
... a forgiven child of God since 1994 (age 16)
... happily wed to William since 1996
... mother of our long-awaited Gail (3/15/2006)
... missing 6 little ones (4 miscarriages, 2 ectopics)
... starting Rome to the Reformation this fall!

One of each
Posts: 17
Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2011 5:58 pm

Re: Having trouble with motivation

Unread post by One of each » Wed Sep 28, 2011 12:03 am

Hi, I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now. A few years ago, I went through a period similar to what you describe. I would feel guilty and bad that I wasn't schooling my children and I spent all my time thinking about how guilty and bad I felt. Here's a couple things that I did that helped me out of the cycle.

1. I went for a walk by myself. Getting out and changing my environment helped my perspective.

2. I decided to do one thing for school with each of my children. For me, it was read to my kids for 10 minutes. If I did nothing else that day that was fine, but I was going to read to them for 10 minutes. I did that and I was surprised to find I actually felt victorious. I did that for about two weeks and then decided I could do more than 10 minutes and gradually built from there.

Don't try to do it all tomorrow. Pick one thing to do with each of your children and do that. For 10 minutes. It's better than nothing and you'll be able to say, I did school with them for 10 minutes today.

Hang in there. This is going to get better.

I've prayed for you too.
ds, 13; dd, 10
2013-2014 RTR
2012-2013 CTG
2011-2012 ECC

cbollin

Re: Having trouble with motivation

Unread post by cbollin » Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:24 am

meljen wrote:Thank you both so much. I have so much piling on to me right now, I'm still having a very, very hard time with my father's death (from TWO years ago, which drives me nuts - I feel I should be okay by now) and I am not very good at organizing or house-keeping, so I just feel overall very overwhelmed. I really don't want to give up on homeschooling. My children seem so much happier when we learn, even if we just read stories. You're so right about that. It does feel good when we do at least one thing. I just get so worried that they will be SO far behind for each day we add up as not doing a full day of school.

Anyway thank you both. (hugs)
a few more hugs.

I want to suggest that you talk to your doctor very plainly that 2 years later, your body is physically not recovered from situational grief and it is interfering with your ability to do the things you love to do and you know you are passionate about. Many times after loss in our lives, our bodies have these physical shifts. There is absolutely no shame at all. You might have an underlying medical condition going on. Also, it might be worth it to go to the doctor and get a full physical check up. Mention these symptoms to your health care provider than you have mentioned to all of us.

You sound like you want to keep homeschooling and it part of what you do and who you are....... I'd look at physical reasons and medical stuff on it. It's ok that you are still experiencing grief over the loss, but it's time to tell a doctor your body needs help on it. It's not a sign of being a bad christian.

-crystal

Julie in MN
Posts: 2925
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 3:44 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: Having trouble with motivation

Unread post by Julie in MN » Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:44 am

meljen wrote:I am not very good at organizing or house-keeping, so I just feel overall very overwhelmed. I really don't want to give up on homeschooling. My children seem so much happier when we learn, even if we just read stories. You're so right about that. It does feel good when we do at least one thing. I just get so worried that they will be SO far behind for each day we add up as not doing a full day of school.
I'm really big on organizing my day so it's not this big huge obstacle in front of me that I don't even want to start.

So I have certain hours that are school hours, and all I have to do during those hours is make sure my kid(s) are educated. I try to do all prep and correcting and everything during those hours; anything extra I get to is cake.

Then after school, I have my housework hours. And when dh was working I included some dh hours in the evening :)

It helps me do each thing well if I am only doing one thing at a time. And when I'm doing something well (or as well as I can), it helps me feel better.
Julie
Julie, married 29 yrs, finding our way without Shane
(http://www.CaringBridge.org/visit/ShaneHansell)
Reid (21) college student; used MFW 3rd-12th grades (2004-2014)
Alexandra (29) mother; hs from 10th grade (2002)
Travis (32) engineer; never hs

meljen
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2011 11:38 am

Re: Having trouble with motivation

Unread post by meljen » Wed Sep 28, 2011 12:01 pm

Julie - thanks for the idea of doing school prep during school hours. I was trying to do it at night, but I realized yesterday that night is my official 'relax' time, and since that has been robbed for weeks and I sometimes have almost no time to myself in those hours, I've been ditching almost everything elsewhere to make room for personal time. I am also going to utilize my accordion file and plan several days ahead of time so all I have to do is open the manual each morning and start the day, instead of only prepping the day before.

Crystal, We have no medical insurance. We live paycheck-to-paycheck, which is fine. But I also have to realize that there are certain things that we just can't do, and going to the doctor is on that list unfortunately. But thank you for suggesting it, I do realize that it can really help some people when they have the means. :-)

I also know that I need to set up a schedule. I am really horrible at that initially because I am a HUGE perfectionist (which is ironic! lol). But I do need to sit down soon and start planning things again so I'm not always flying by the seat of my pants - because that wears me out when I am just trying to remember what to do without having things written down and planned.

I guess we all know what we really need, we just sometimes need to be reminded by friends. :-)

Thank you all for your help!
DD 7, DS 5
Using MFW K & 1st for the first time (2011)

cbollin

Re: Having trouble with motivation

Unread post by cbollin » Wed Sep 28, 2011 12:33 pm

meljen wrote: I guess we all know what we really need, we just sometimes need to be reminded by friends. :-)
if you like to be reminded by friends.... read this post that you wrote in June
http://board.mfwbooks.com/viewtopic.php ... 850#p75850

and praying that God is your provider.


-crystal

Ruby
Posts: 20
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2010 4:10 pm

Re: Having trouble with motivation

Unread post by Ruby » Wed Sep 28, 2011 11:03 pm

my seven yo and i take a week off every six weeks. it helps his attitude a lot! our state laws do not require us to homeschool for 180 days, is very flexible and if the public schools can do it, then i want my kids to be able to as well.
about being a perfectionist, i have a slight problem with that as well-the "i can't get started on a schedule until all my ducks in a row" syndrome. i know now that will never be my situation. i had to decide what was most important to change, or schedule, and start with that, work on it until it became habit, then add something else to the priority. we are now working out the bugs from a basic schedule. it takes time to get sorted out. don't be too hard on yourself. did you get to have fun for your two month break?

and before i forget, are you able to carve out an hour or so from maybe saturday to look over the weeks upcoming lesson plans? for our first grade year, i set aside some time to write a basic list on a basic grid chart of what we were scheduled to do for that week. i find now that i can't seem to manage without it. my son likes it too. but he cheats and tries to do his work without me, at least with math, so maybe i should not let him see the chart!

continue to keep in touch with your Father because He wants the best for you and your family and He will help you through this struggle:)blessings be on you,
ruby.

cbollin

Today - I'm certain that I am not organized enough

Unread post by cbollin » Thu Dec 01, 2011 5:59 pm

HeyChelle wrote:for homeschooling. Oh my goodness how in the world do you all do this without gripping your Bible in a death grip while praying constantly just to get through all the material?
We often skip the busy work and activities because who has that much time? And allow my kids to get their hands on clay when I will have to spend an extra 30 minutes cleaning up before dinner? Nuh Uh. No way.

I know I could do this if I only had one child. But 3 with one in public school that has to be picked up and then helped with homework? Good grief I'm ready to throw in the towel at least once a week. :(

That was all way negative. Somebody help me. I'm so not cut out for this.
I've been quoting "All things through Christ" over and over for days - it's my new mantra.
It's the Holidays. (((hugs)))

You are definitely organized enough for it all. I just looked at your blog from Sept.

It's the holidays......
HeyChelle wrote:It's a mirage! I photoshopped all the tiny peices of cut paper off the floor for those pictures. LOL! OK, just kidding, just kidding!

Maybe so. I thought we were all ready for the holidays... shopping is done, decorating is done, plans are made... First grade is well under way (started last week) and is going well. Started ECC today, which is probably why I'm freaking out. I'm just so tired of dragging everything out, barely getting school done, and having to put it all away for lunch, then repeat it all before dinner. And, and, and... yeah. You all understand. I know you do. :head smack: :crash: I wanna go to bed... No - I wanna go to the gym. Alone. And then go to bed.
oh, did we forget to tell you that the first 2 weeks of ECC can feel like a big step up from ADV? maybe that's it.

hit the gym do some cardio, strength stretch... then come photoshop my house, please? LOL LOL

I almost got done today with stuff. but the day started with a flat tire.... mind you now, this is the same place on the van as the flat tire 6 weeks ago where we had to replace said tire. well.. back to trying to finish reading something about king george the iii. then get a shower. I hit the gym twice today already....

kick ball change ball change
a few jabs.
round house kicks in doubles.

I mean...
((hugs)))

sojen
Posts: 65
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 1:30 pm

Re: Today - I'm certain that I am not organized enough

Unread post by sojen » Thu Dec 01, 2011 6:03 pm

HeyChelle wrote: I photoshopped all the tiny peices of cut paper off the floor for those pictures.
Well, stop doing that and you will have plenty of time to get everything done! :-)

Your post made me laugh out loud, because I LOVE your honesty. I have had the worst start to the year and just yesterday I thought, "Wow, after 4 months I finally had a smooth day where we got everything done." Then today it was another disaster, so oh well. One foot in front of the other tomorrow, right? I try to keep a good face, but I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to go anywhere alone! So thanks for reminding me there are other moms out there cringing at the thought of cleaning up clay. 8| Although I am insanely jealous you have finished decorating for the holidays.

Hoping it gets better!
Jen in GA
mom to dd 11, dd 8, and ds 5
traveling through the medieval world with RTR.
Slowly starting kindergarten with my little guy.

TriciaMR
Posts: 998
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:43 am

Re: Today - I'm certain that I am not organized enough

Unread post by TriciaMR » Thu Dec 01, 2011 6:31 pm

Chelle,

Those first couple of weeks in ECC are the hardest. Give yourself 3 weeks to do them. It's okay. :) Hugs.

-Trish
Trish - Wife to Phil, Mom to Toni(18), Charlie(14), and Trent(14)
2014-2015 - AHL, CTG
2015-2016 - WHL, RTR
2016-2017 - EXP1850, US1877
2017-2018 - DE, 1850MOD
2018-2019 - College, AHL
My blog

HeyChelle
Posts: 58
Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2010 6:51 pm

Re: Today - I'm certain that I am not organized enough

Unread post by HeyChelle » Fri Dec 02, 2011 12:18 am

Thank you Jen and Trish. Feeling better just posting and seeing someone cared enough to reply. Dude this homeschooling stuff is hard work. "We do hard things" is a family saying, but it's hard to actually say and carry out sometimes!

Crystal, You always make me smile. Where do you get all your energy from? Two trips to the gym? Go you!
I made it. Barely. Hubby was soooo late tonight. But I managed to get in a intense 20 minutes of lap swimming (gym is really close by) and drove back home with wet hair. :~ But I feel better! I would so *love* to enroll in boxing classes for fun; I bet that would do me a world of good! I need a punching bag to workout this tension.

But anyway - I'm really struggling with feelings of chaos right now. Ugh. Drag out spelling, do spelling, put spelling away. Drag out lang arts. Do lang arts. Put LA away. My beloved cabinet just barely holds everything now because ECC takes up more space than Adventures. It all fits, it's just a bit trickier and everything has to be put away *just so* so that it all fits. Insert meals, snacks, nose wipes, dog walks (our yard is not fenced), bottom wipings - cause my 4 year old is TINY with little bitty short arms and still needs help. And that's only 2 subjects for one kid. Today we finished school at 7 PM. I've read over Marie's nice and tight schedule in the front of the books twice a day each day this week and then just roll around laughing at myself - in a completely insane kind of way. This is the year that I just might lose my mind - and I still only have 2 kids officially in homeschool since the "baby" is still in preschool.
Chelle - Christian, wife, and mommy of 4
My family/homeschooling blog

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