Encouragement - When stressed, discouraged

[Cyndi (AZ)]

Simple...I need simple. I've had a hard time this last year trying to get everything done with both kiddos. My ds was in NO way ready to do RtR with dd so I used Adventures with him. Well...not really. We have done the bare, bare, bare, minimum. That is fine...it has given him more time to focus on learning to read fluently, get math facts down, and play. English is his second language so I've taken it easy on him letting him get his language skills down. But because of all the reading I do with dd, I feel like my ds has been left in the dust more often than not.

This coming year, we are using 1850-Modern. I plan on using parts of the 2nd and 3rd grade supplement to bring ds alongside our studies this coming year. We have read more than half of the books in the supplement already...so I will just sub those with other books i have laying around already. And I will add in the U.S. books that MFW recommends.

I guess the trouble comes in when I start subbing other stuff instead of using MFW recommendations...like for language arts...I am NOT a CM language arts person. Lol. Give me a workbook. So ds will be using ACE Paces for that. I also don't like God and the History of Art. So I was going to sub in a simple art program that teaches sketching. And then I make out a schedule in Excel to add in extra reading from the appendix...I schedule it all out to coordinate with MFW studies. I will be using MFW recs for grammar for dd, so that isn't an issue. But I will be using IEW for writing instead of Writing Strands.

Ugh. It goes on.

And before I know it, I have created this monster of a homeschool year that I simply cannot tackle. I add so much. And then stuff, important stuff, goes by the wayside! I make it so complicated when it COULD be so simple!! I'm overwhelmed to the point that I contemplated selling it ALL (all the brand new stuff I just got in the mail 2 months ago) and starting from scratch with ECC, using it as written, and calling it good.

I don't even know what i am asking for... Someone talk to me...

(((((((HUG)))))))) want some of my coffee? It's really yummy and I cheated and bought real half-and-half. We could sit on the front porch in the sun and chat. That would be good.

I have an only child, but I still understand the need for simple. Simple is very good. I have to applaud you for doing even the bare minimum with your ds -- to focus on math facts and reading fluently with an ESL student. Wow. I think you're amazing to do that in addition to RTR. I have a hard time believing that he's getting "left in the dust" - it sounds like he's having an awesome life with a great mommy. I haven't done 1850-MOD yet, but I love the looks of the 2nd/3rd supplement - I think you can have lots of fun with it. Somebody will chime in with how that works in real life.

When I was in school, I used ACE paces from K-12th - seriously, all subjects pace 001-144. ACE English isn't really simple, you know. It's a lot of work with tons of diagramming. I'm not saying that you have to give it up for PLL, but just asking a question -- have you seen the PLL workbooks? My girlfriend is using one with her dd, and it is really nice. It's spiral bound (lays flat) and has color pictures and just enough lines and room to write in the book. You can still do some lessons orally, but it's a great tool for people who like the workbook feel. Not all of MFW's recommendations fit everybody - some can be tweaked and some just don't fit. I've thought about getting a different writing program, too - my dd can't stand writing strands, and I find it a little silly. It's just hard to find something I like better. I personally can't stand GATHOA, but my dd is getting used to it and is doing it without complaining. Subbing out art doesn't have to be a big deal.

I'm a former engineer, project planner of all things, so I understand making charts and expecting life to go according to schedule. But it never does. There's always "slides" to the schedule. When I was working, I got paid to revamp schedules. As a homeschool mom, I don't get paid and no one cares but me. I try to get my dh to care, but he doesn't - I tell him we're behind schedule and he says, "Whose schedule?" I'm not going to tell you what to do, but if it were me, I'd use the grid in the TM and a pencil. There's room if you write small to cross out "Writing Strands" and sketch in "IEW lesson 1" or whatever. Don't plan the whole year in the TM. Yes, take an over-arching look and see how things will play out with your curriculum choices, but plan the next week, not the next year. Then when slides happen and you have to jostle a few things, you are only changing a week or two, not ripping your hair out because your carefully planned yearly schedule is a bust. (That may not describe you, but I've been there.)

So, I'm really no help at all, sorry. I read your post on my second cup of coffee and heard the words "Someone talk to me," so I did. I'll say a prayer for you that God gives you peace in your decisions. He's the one with the perfect plan.

[Ohmomjacquie]

Take a deep breath and relax. I think you'll be fine to use the stuff you have gotten already. I'd scrap the excel sheet for reading book. Just let your daughter choose what she wants to read from the list. If your soon is learning English would he be completely bored with you reading them again? His language skills will be better so he may get more the second time through.

[proud2bmykswife]

Jean,
I'm not sure I have any advice; I just place my order for MFW a couple days ago. I'm hoping Julie or Crystal will jump in with some words of wisdom.

I like the idea of CM language arts, but they are so different from the way I learned; don't really care for Writing Strands either. And Singapore math sounds good to me, but again just a different way. But, I have learned to pay attention to the recommendations of curriculum authors. In other words, Marie knows exactly what is in the curriculum and what is needed to cover language arts without overwhelming either parent or child. I too need simple and this year dh and I decided that I would just need to learn how to use and get along with Marie's recommendations for math and language arts. I think that if I access the wisdom here I will be okay.

This may come across as harsh, but it isn't intended that way at all. You say you need simple, but do you really want simple? Only you can decide; but I would challenge you to really think and pray about how you want your homeschool to look and go from there. Homeschooling isn't just for our kiddos; I'm convinced that God uses it to stretch us, change us, and make us leave our comfort zones.

(((Hugs)))

[Julie in MN]

But because of all the reading I do with dd, I feel like my ds has been left in the dust more often than not.

Agreeing with the other moms that it sounds like you've made some good choices for your ds this year. And about the idea of being left in the dust... I know that every child doesn't get exactly our full attention all of the time, and that is something I've grieved at times over the years even when I wasn't homeschooling, but it is also the real world and like I mentioned, it would be happening even if you weren't homeschooling. I think if your ds sees you teaching, knows why you are busy, he will be fine. I always say my youngest was raised in the car, since he was born with 8 and 11 year old siblings who were always on the go; he toddled around hockey and figure skating rinks during preschool; since he was 11 he's been raised at the hospital or at home with someone else, but he knows we are taking care of his dad. This son is a happy, fun 16yo now. I think it matters that they see what you are doing and why, and then they just accept it as part of their reality. Now, if I were eating bonbons on the couch with daytime TV blaring, well, maybe he wouldn't be so content

We have read more than half of the books in the supplement already...so I will just sub those with other books i have laying around already. And I will add in the U.S. books that MFW recommends.

Well now, here's a perfect opportunity to pare things down and allow yourself to do less (since you've already read many of the great books listed), but instead you're adding back in How about just chatting about what you read in the past (review) and about what other books are in your book basket (preview, of books they can look at on their own during book basket time), and then letting the chips fall as they may?!

I also don't like God and the History of Art. So I was going to sub in a simple art program that teaches sketching.

Dropping anything on the "deluxe" part of the grid would be a way to pare down very easily. Deluxe is optional.

To me, GHA is two things. (1) It is drawing lessons, and you could get a simple workbook type drawing program like Ed Emberly or something, or whatever you have. But put it as an optional afternoon activity, not on the grid

(2) GHA is art history. If you want to add that in, then get the book basket books on the various artists studied and put them in book basket.

But I will be using IEW for writing instead of Writing Strands.

Okay, that's like me on a diet, subbing a whole pan of brownies for a cookie.

starting from scratch with ECC, using it as written, and calling it good.

Well, that's an option LOL.

This may come across as harsh, but it isn't intended that way at all. You say you need simple, but do you really want simple? Only you can decide; but I would challenge you to really think and pray about how you want your homeschool to look and go from there. Homeschooling isn't just for our kiddos; I'm convinced that God uses it to stretch us, change us, and make us leave our comfort zones.

I think this is a good thought for all of us. Sometimes what we say and what we do are not really in sync. Good food for thought.

[MelissaB]

Hi, Jean,

I feel that way sometimes, too. But like Cyndi, I think you've made the perfect choice focusing on your ds's foundational core subjects. There will be a lot more history & science in higher grades.

I do not have any advice, but if it helps you to know, my dh and I made the decision last year to go w/ MFW recommendations in every subject but math. It really did simplify our year. We're doing that again this coming year.

There are so many choices for curriculum. My dh once said as I agonized over our decision: "It's all good! This choice is good. This (other curriculum) choice is good. This (yet another curricula option) is good. You can't make a bad decision." Really, if you think about it, it's true.

You're doing a great job, and you're making well thought-out decisions. Regardless of how we feel some days, It sounds like your ds & dd are getting a great education.

[mammasdawlins]

Hi, I am feeling for you and praying for you right now....{{hugs}}

Sometimes it helps when you feel overwhelmed to remember that you are bringing your children up for the Lord and while the academics they are learning is very important, academics comes second to learning about Him and living for Him. Pray about what the Lord wants for them and their unique situations. When things get hectic - it's a good time to put things down, re-evaluate, pray, and lay your burdens upon the Lord. Sometimes we get so busy making our plans that we forget that we are supposed to be doing His plan. Personally, when we stand before the Lord, I don't think He's going to ask us to recite our multiplication problems or hand Him an essay. I pray you stay encouraged and all works out for you according to His plan. : )

blessings,
Charlene

[Mallorie]

I think you would really benefit from listening to one of David Hazell's lectures. You can go to YouTube and search his name. Listen to his summary of homeschooling one.

There are also some links out there that are just audio that would be great, perhaps someone can link you as I cannot find mine? I'm thinking there is one about combining Charlotte Mason, classical, etc. It gave me a confidence boost about my grammar choices.

[IdahoGrown]

I feel like a ton of weight has been lifted off my shoulders!! Thank you all SO much for your thoughts. {{long exhale}}

Church today was great too. Our pastor was challenging us to REALLY commit to Christ. He is doing a series of sermons on the movie "not a fan". He is challenging us to not be a fan, but a follower. Too many times, our days are 'too busy' to really get into Bible...to explore more about how certain verses relate to one another etc...it becomes too much about academics. It is so easy to lose my focus. And the whole reason I am even homeschooling at all is because the Lord called me to it! lol

Simplify vs. simple...yes...simplify. : ) I need us to be challenged (agreeing with you proudtobemykeswife).

Cindi, I LOVE coffee! With half and half! It would be so nice to share a cuppa. Thank you. Crystal, love the excercise analogy!!! No choice of curriculum is a BAD choice...love that!

Such wise and godly advice from all of you that I appreciate SO SO much! Thank you!

You are all right too in that my ds is doing just fine. He has improved in his reading comprehension and abilities SO much this year! It is really neat to see. He needed this time to focus on that. So I now see the blessing in slowing down with him. He speaks English really well...it is vocabulary/comprehension/phonics that he needed more time for.

I am going to give this all over to the Lord...again. Lol! I will pray about each thing (subject/curriculum) specifically as I think of it. When I am doing His will, I can't go wrong. God bless you all.

[TriciaMR]

I usually love prepping for the coming school year. I love organizing binders and planning schedules. I adore Back-to-School sales.

But, this year I have no enthusiasm. I feel completely overwhelmed. All we're doing is CTG (with a 7th Grader) and MFW 1st. The only thing I'm adding extra is a calendar time for my PreK and 1st Grader. Does anyone have advice to help me make it through this slump?

{Hugs}

I always feel overwhelmed or anxious at the beginning of the year thinking, "How am I going to do all this." And then we just start, and it works out just fine.

My suggestion would be just start. Maybe start with the 1st grader for a week and see how things go with him. Or, if you are more overwhelmed about the 7th grader, start him - maybe just his Science and Math.

Pray. Trust that God has a plan for your year and He will reveal it to you.

-Trish

[jasntas]

I too, like Trish, get overwhelmed before starting. Then it just all smooths out and works just fine. Maybe you are feeling a bit anxious because you have a 7th grader this year. I am already feeling anxious about next year because I know 7th and 8th steps it up a bit in preparation for high school. My ds will be in 7th next year. But I know that with God's help we will make it through.

Praying a prayer of peace for you now...

[Cyndi (AZ)]

My biggest freak-out year was CTG. I felt utterly and completely overwhelmed. I'm not even going to look and see if any of that was archived last year because it would probably be embarrassing. I was on here a LOT, plus lots of pm's to get me through it.

It makes me wonder, though. CTG is Bible history - the story of God's people. I don't mean to get preachy, but I wonder if it's just an attack on us to trip us up before a very important and impactful year. Once we got going in CTG, both my dd and I fell in love with it and the history truly came to life and all was well. The other subjects just kinda fell into place and it was a good year.

So ((HUGS)) from me, too, and I'll say a prayer that you have peace - and excitement - about starting school. It's gonna be O.K.

[Mom2MnS]

Hi (: Sending big hugs from here, too!
I am so sorry that you are having a tough time this year.

Feeling overwhelmed and anxious is a normal thing for me, too, especially at this time of year. Some years discouragement and lack of joy have accompanied that, and it has been a real challenge. It is a joy to be able to tell you that God has been faithful each and every year to meet me where I was. All has been well, and I am so thankful!

I also think that you should "do what you know" --just begin (:
Pray, make sure that your time with the Father is happening every day, hug on your sweetlings, and do the thing ♥

I will be lifting you up & cheering for a wonderful year.

[LSH in MS]

I understand! The suggestions to start a few subjects at a time is a good one.

[Joyhomeschool]

I was REALLY not looking forward to school this year until I got it all planned out. And now Im doing much better, at least Im prepared! Hugs and sympathy. Another thing that helped me was pushing back my start date. I usually start July 1st and I decided to wait and start with the PS kids. If I were you I'd give myself till after labor day to start, to let the nervousness die down.

[Mallorie]

It makes me wonder, though. CTG is Bible history - the story of God's people. I don't mean to get preachy, but I wonder if it's just an attack on us to trip us up before a very important and impactful year. Once we got going in CTG, both my dd and I fell in love with it and the history truly came to life and all was well. The other subjects just kinda fell into place and it was a good year.

Thank you SO much for this. I have two going into CtG and one going into AHL. The other day my son wanted to check into the local high school because he thought the electives would be better there. We've been doing a major crash course in high school vs. homeschool, everything has been questioned and re-evaluated. After running across a few threads on another board, and then these comments, it's a breath of fresh air. Like God telling me to get back to the path He put us on, stay the course and trust Him.

I've had the typical anxiety that comes from hs'ing high school for the first time, but this experience really made me look over the materials in AHL again, read a few chapters in each book, etc. and I have new confidence in our choice. Your comments helped cement that we can do CtG too. big thanks!

[sandi]

I will be starting everything tomorrow with three different programs. I know what you mean about feeling overwhelmed. I have tried to make sure that I am prepared as I can be to start. I now have to give the rest to the Lord. He will not call me to do something and then not equip me for the task. I know that I just have to commit my days to prayer and He will take us through it this year. You hang in there and know that you are not alone. God has given us the responsibility to raise these kiddos for Him and He will help us do just that. Praying for you that you will find peace of mind and heart. Pray for me too. I needed to be reminded of these things. Thanks for posting this thread. I also agree about being under attack because of what we are teaching our children.CTG is a great program and I know that your kiddo will learn so much that will strengthen their faith.
Take care

[sewgirlie]

Thank you for all the replies. They were exactly what I needed to hear. Just knowing I'm not alone helps a lot!

Carrie

[TriciaMR]

Me! I'm the one who is low on patience! For the most part, when schooling my children, I'm patient, creative, anticipate their needs, and prepare myself for stumbles along the way. But, some days, like today, I am so impatient, and wonder, "Wow, if doubters and naysayers heard me now..." My kids ages are 5 1/2 and 3 1/2. My hot buttons seem to be: when my son interrupts, when they get loud, and when I have to repeat myself (repeatedly). Does it get easier? Was everyone this way in the beginning? Am I normal?

Oh, you shoulda been at my house yesterday... Mine are 12 yo girl, and 8 yo twin boys. Let's just say I felt like it was the worst.day.of.school.evah. I lost our read aloud book. My kids cried through spelling, threw pencils at each other (supposedly accidentally), interrupted, take forever in the bathroom, don't transition from one thing to the next quickly... I spent 1/2 in my room having a pity party... Dh talked to the kids last night and this morning, and today went much better. But yeah, yesterday? Fuggetaboutit.

Then, listening to K-LOVE and some great song comes on and reminds me how much God loves me. Thank goodness He loves me in spite of my sin and failures. Whew! I wouldn't make it without him.

(Editing to add: I just NOW found that missing read aloud! Woo-hoo!)

-Trish

[cbollin]

yes, it gets easier... yes you'll still have these moments even when it does get easier.... you are very normal!

I remember one time when my oldest was only preschool age. We were attending a church small group. The leader had 5 children, 4 boys.. and it was at their house. They were veteran homeschoolers and Professional Christians (giggle... worked for a campus parachurch organizations). I liked them. normal kids... The dad was talking about how he likes using some book for family devotion time in their homeschool and trying to mentor the rest of us whose oldest children were barely out of diapers.... anyway... he called the children over.. pulled that book (it was one of the Missionary with Millers series). starts reading it out loud.. the boys were climbing and then hitting... one of them told the other "stop interrupting! I mean it! stop it! don't sit in my spot! DAD! I was here first... tell him to shut up!"

I thought the dad was setting it up to show us how to handle stress of parenting... . I really thought it was a set up... LOL LOL LOL I learned..... It's normal and it wasn't the lesson the dad thought he was showing the rest of us.... instead of getting too upset because after all there were a bunch of adults and it was "family integrated bible study small group".. the dad said "well.. at least you see my children are normal kids... we're not story book people. Usually they sit really still for this book though... "

I knew in that moment that if Pastor Tom could homeschool with that as his norm, certainly if I tried that homeschooling thing I could it do too!


does it get easier... yes.... does it mean you get catalog pictures as everyday things with no interruptions? LOL LOL LOL. LOL
bahhahaaa

uh, I mean no.

even my oldest has to interrupt each day this school year.... I feel like she has forgotten how to come in and wait her turn.. She turns 17 next week! "honey... you wanted to say something for 10 seconds and then go back to your school work so I can teach your sisters, right?"
the good thing is.. she says "ooh... oops... yeah it can wait... "

or the cat will hack up something. or something......

you're experiencing normal stuff in homeschooling. Yes.. we all blow it. Yes... there are days where we are the best moms and ideal parenting gurus. Both are normal. You'll get more days that are really worth it.

catalog pics? that's cameras and hours and hours of try it again..... trust me... I've seen some of those mfw people in their real lives... they get mad too. they lose patience too. they are normal too.

-crystal

[Ohmomjacquie]

I think that was our while first year! Lol My patience has crown thanks to to gods grace. We were not with mfw then though. As time had gone by I am learning but still have my days lol

[bethinga]

Thanks everyone for making me feel normal!

[bethinga]

Having that kind of a day myself today. Well actually this week has just not been good at all.

Some days I LOVE homeschooling my kids and then other days I'm just so tired of the nonsense, not listening, my having to repeat myself, not doing what they are told... well you get it.

Honestly, today I am really questioning whether this is meant to be for our family, maybe we would all be happier of I sent them to school

Just as encouragement: Imagine a classroom full of loud interrupters, and your children getting pushed aside so the teacher can deal with all of them. All day long. No matter what size your family, your classroom size at home is smaller and more ideal....and the teacher is more invested (you). *hugs*

Thank you!

I think, well I know, that I need to learn to have more patience too.

Today is a new day, praying that it is better for both of us

[terick89]

Wow...I could have written this almost everyday the past three weeks!!! My kids have recently turned 13! My problem is I expect them to be more mature now and actually do their best work and not complain anymore! NOPE!

BUT, we all get up the next day and do it all over again and realize it IS a new day!!! And of course I have to admit...a great field trip does wonders!!! Having lunch with my mom at mid-week helps! Getting my kids to youth group helps, too! I also remind myself that we're done with school by 2:00 or so and we're COMPLETELY DONE for the day...no homework! So, we have relaxing evenings except our Thursdays which are for soccer and gymnastics, but that's it.

I still struggle, but boy it sure helps knowing I am not alone...especially reading all these posts! Make time for yourself with your husband or a girlfriend and get refreshed. You have littles, but some things will get easier. My kids and I have some great conversations now and I sure enjoy that!

Good luck to you and hang in there! And plan a field trip day!

[Mommy22alyns]

Thank you!

I think, well I know, that I need to learn to have more patience too.

Today is a new day, praying that it is better for both of us

Take it day by day. Scratch that, take it minute by minute!

[momem3]

Boy, oh boy did I need this! This week has been awful...but it is more of Mommy getting frustrated at little things and the kids acting pretty normal for themselves. Hormonal much?!?! I've been awful...but it is reassuring to read these posts. Makes me feel less like a horrible mom and more like a forgiven daughter.

hugs and have a beautiful weekend!